


I Love It When I Fall for That

by aNerdObsessed



Series: Light Rises... and Darkness to Meet It [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Awkward reunions, BB-8 Is a Bit of a Menace and Kylo Likes It, BTW This is a Sloooooow Burn, Chewie Doesn't Deal with Kylo's Bullshit, Dark!Rey, Everyone Needs a Little BB-8, F/M, Finn Didn't Sign Up for This, Finn Has a Spine, Finn Is Tired of Solo Bullshit, Finn Needs Nourishment, Finn is in Over His Head, Finn's In Charge Now, Girl Power Makes Hux Uncomfortable, Han Solo Talks His Way Out of It Every Time, I Feel It Too, I Love You, Interrogation, Is It The Height Difference?, Kira Ren is Still a Badass, Kira Ren is a Badass, Kylo Goes Dark, Kylo Resents That, Kylo has issues, Kylo's Screwed But What's New, Minor Hanleia, Paige Will Be Front Row, Poe Tends to Get His Way, Repression Is Not Working, Role Reversal AU, The Badass Ladies Alliance, The Force Finds a Way, Torture, all the feels, as in very slow burn, aw snap, bountyhunter!Kylo, canonverse, dark rey au, everyone makes mistakes, mention of suicidal thoughts, multiple POVs, no going back now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2019-09-05 22:13:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 16
Words: 60,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16819498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aNerdObsessed/pseuds/aNerdObsessed
Summary: Two years after the events ofMy Favorite Color Is YouKylo’s new life as one of the best bounty hunters in the galaxy has been carefully constructed to avoid anything to do with his past. That is, until Poe Dameron drags him into a desperate quest that Kylo wants nothing to do with.Kira Ren is fully committed to her choice and has become the feared enigmatic enforcer of the First Order. She is unflinching in her mission to wipe the memory of the Jedi from the galaxy and destroy the weak fragments of the New Republic.Unfortunately for both of them, their paths are set to collide, and the aftermath is something neither of them could predict.





	1. First

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome back! This is part two of this little story, so if you haven't read _My Favorite Color is You_ , you may want to go back and read it; although you'd probably be fine just starting here. Mostly.
> 
> Thanks goes to my wonderful beta, [AngstyWriter](https://angstywriterangst.tumblr.com)!
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](https://a-nerd-obsessed.tumblr.com)

Kylo, one of the most sought-after bounty hunters in the galaxy – both for his services and his head - was pretty sure that his well-insulated behind had frozen to the ice that made up the ground of his hideout. 

Kylo was on Hays Minor, a frigid, ice-covered planet on the edge of known space that was only good for its primary export, a smelt with super-conductive properties. That’s why the First Order had taken over the mining operations of the planet, enslaving the populace in all but name as they scoured the natural resources to build their own starships and weapons for their burgeoning military force. 

But Kylo didn’t care about any of that. In fact, he would rather be almost anywhere else, but he had a job to do, a near-impossible job, one that had caused him to laugh when he’d first been contacted by his employer because it was so ludicrous. The pay was what had made him reconsider his original assessment and eventually accept the proposal.

He tried thinking of warm planets – Tatooine, Dagobah, Geonosis – as his body shivered involuntarily and his nose slowly turned into an icicle. He was sorely tempted to turn on a heat lamp to warm up the cramped space where he squatted on the edge of the Planum Sebris, but his own heat signature was risk enough with the First Order perimeter sensors so close. He let out a breath slowly, watching it fog in front of his face. Something needed to happen or he’d develop hypothermia. He was already in danger because of how the cold had dulled his reflexes. If he was found, he would be hard pressed to defend himself.

The sound of a ship breaking atmosphere wakened his sluggish senses. He shuffled closer to the slit in the wall, pulling out his quadnocs and pointing them towards the gray sky where a First Order shuttle descended towards Orwan Port. Kylo focused the quadnocs, sharpening the image of the ship coming to rest on a dock so that he could pick out every weapon and antenna on its exterior. It was just as his contact said it would be, right down to the classification and designation imprinted on its hull. Once it had settled and let down the ramp, Kylo sucked in a breath. This was the moment where he would find out if the information he’d been given was correct or if this trip was a bust – or if he’d been played.

Even though Kylo didn't like most people, he’d never experienced such instant disgust upon seeing another person. The intuitive dislike that made his skin crawl certainly wasn’t from the Force – that wasn’t a factor anymore. No, this feeling was all Kylo. He zoomed in the quadnocs to get a better look.

The red-haired man – Hux – who had just disembarked was wearing a black long coat with a general’s rank on the front, a hungry sneer permanently twisting his pale face. He was followed by a pair of petty officers in sharp First Order uniforms and a squad of stormtroopers. Kylo was sure he could see the gleam of their armor even though he was several clicks away and the sky was overcast. Hux stalked forward and spoke with a lieutenant who saluted smartly as he approached. Although it would’ve been helpful to hear their words, Kylo was grateful he couldn’t hear the man’s voice. He was sure it would have made him want to strangle the man, general or no. 

The company moved into the base, disappearing from Kylo’s view, but it didn’t matter. He had the confirmation he needed to move forward, and now it was time to get into position for the next phase of his plan. Kylo stood up, almost bumping his head on the top of the small space. It was really an abandoned bunker from when the First Order had been using this area for weapons testing, but then a blast had uncovered more ore. The First Order had hastily moved their testing elsewhere and set up another mining operation, setting up barracks to fill with unlucky Haysians and erecting drills to strip the newly discovered vein.

Bracing himself for the cold and pulling down the protective goggles over his face, Kylo stepped outside into the wind. He casually stepped around the body of the snowtrooper he’d killed earlier – the fool had been on patrol alone; what kind of protocol standards - or arrogance - did the First Order have to maintain such shoddy security? 

Kylo was pulling the hood of his triple-insulated parka, a white and gray camouflage that he loathed with all of his black, dark-loving aesthetic, which is why his guard was down when the assailant tackled him, attempting to pin him to the ice.

Even though his muscles were stiff with cold, Kylo was still larger and stronger than his attacker, and he had the benefit of over a decade of combat training on his side. Kylo soon had the smaller man subdued, staring emotionlessly into the reflective goggles covering the man’s eyes as he squirmed beneath him. Kylo pushed a vibroblade into the man’s jacket, over his heart, creating wisps of smoke as it burned into the thick material. Kylo began to force the blade down, not in the mood to discover the man’s identity aside from the fact that he was obviously not First Order. Apparently, the man had come to the same conclusion about Kylo's allegiance.

“Please! I’m with the Resistance!”

“And why should I care?” Kylo growled through the fabric covering his lower face. He didn’t ease up on the blade, but he didn’t increase the pressure either. 

“We could help each other!”

Kylo almost ended the man right then. He didn’t need help, especially from an incompetent Resistance fighter, but then he kept talking.

“We know you’re here to take out General Hux.”

“We?”

The man squirmed. “Let me up and we can talk.”

“Not likely,” Kylo said, sliding his free hand up to apply pressure to the man’s windpipe.

“Actually, it’s very likely.”

Kylo looked up when another voice spoke from above them and found the end of a blaster pistol pointing at his head. He stiffened, then slowly relaxed his grip on the man before standing, hands raised in placation. 

“Drop the knife,” the second Resistance fighter ordered. Kylo frowned but obeyed. He had several other weapons tucked away that they didn’t know about yet. But still, something about this man seemed vaguely familiar. The first man, too, if he took a moment to think about it.

“You alright, Seastriker?” the man with the blaster asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks for the save, Poe.” The first man got to his feet, dusting off the flakes of ice crystal that had gotten on his protective insulation gear in their scuffle.

Kriff. “Poe Dameron?”

The Resistance fighter tightened his grip on the blaster. “Yes. How’d you know?”

“Is this a set-up? Did Leia Organa send you?”

“How do you know that name?”

“He said you’re with Resistance.”

Dameron turned on the other man, Seastriker. “Why’d you tell him that? He could be First Order for all we know.”

“He’s not. He’s marking the general just like we are.”

Dameron threw his hands up in the air in exasperation. “Ok, we're all taking a trip back to camp to sort this out.”

Kylo thought about creating a distraction and pulling a vanishing act, but he decided it would be better to get to the bottom of this, and anyway, he had some flexibility in his plan. He could push back the timeline just a bit and it would still work.

“Fine, let’s go get this over with,” Kylo sighed, relaxing his posture. “Lead the way, Dameron.”

~---~

Kylo decided their camp was not much better than the hole he’d been inhabiting for much of the morning. They’d taken over a natural bore in the ice that opened into a semi-habitable cave. It was actually several degrees warmer than outside, probably because it was so cramped. It appeared that it was just the two of them, given the amount of supplies and the two sleeping bags huddled in the corner. Kylo stiffly settled his large frame in the best position he could, ready to fight or flee if the situation called for it. But he knew once Dameron recognized him, he’d be a lot less likely to send a plasma bolt through his gut. For the time being the Resistance fighter kept his blaster trained on the unknown entity they’d brought back to their tiny base of operations.

“Take off the head gear,” Dameron demanded as his companion did the same. Kylo blinked as the man peeled away the scarf covering his head, revealing familiar blonde hair and blue eyes of that kid – what was his name? - who had been with her when she’d come back to the Academy. What had Dameron said – Seastriker? Joph Seastriker. That sounded right.

“I said, off with the head gear, or I’ll just take off the whole head if you’d rather.”

Kylo resisted the temptation to roll his eyes but decided to keep playing prisoner. He pushed the kerchief from his mouth and took off the goggles.

Dameron and Seastriker stared in shock, but Dameron was the first to speak.

“Ben? Ben Solo?”

“Ben Solo is dead,” Kylo said impassively. “And I swear if you tell Leia Organa differently, you’ll be dead too. My name is Kylo.”

Dameron seemed to be struggling with the revelation so Seastriker took over the interrogation.

“Wait, so you’re Kylo? The bounty hunter?”

Kylo raised a sardonic eyebrow. Joph caught the unspoken answer.

“So, Be- uh, Kylo, let’s start with what you’re doing trying to assassinate a First Order general on Hays Minor.”

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

Seastriker frowned. “What do you mean?”

“You mean to tell me Leia didn’t have anything to do with both of us being here?” It made Kylo physically sick to consider that Leia Organa may be his mysterious employer.

“No.” Dameron shook his head, recovering. “Like you said, she thinks you’re dead.”

“Then why do you assume you know what my business is here?"

“Lucky guess. Your arrival coincides with the general’s, who is rarely seen outside of First Order star destroyers, you’re armed with a sniper rifle, and we come across you staring at him through quadnocs. Sound about right?”

Kylo grunted and relaxed upon hearing that. It made things easier. “Alright, then what are you doing here?”

“It’s classified.”

“Classified? Really? Me, too. Big secret.”

Dameron scowled at him.

Kylo blithely continued. “That’s why you revealed your identities to me and allowed me into your camp, because you didn’t intend on telling me what you’re doing. Sound about right?”

Dameron and Seastriker shared a glance. “He’s got a point,” Seastriker admitted.

Dameron clenched a fist before finally letting his weapon drop. “I’m going to trust you, despite whatever the kriff you’re calling yourself now.”

“A bad decision, really.”

“I’m also trusting you because I know you’re Leia’s son,” Dameron said, ignoring how Kylo’s body tensed. “I also remember how you were with Rey. I don’t think you’re not that person anymore even if you claim to be someone else.”

Kylo’s eyes narrowed and he fought down the urge to end Dameron right then, repressing the memory of how the pilot had made her smile so many years ago. “Don’t. _Ever_. Say her name,” he gritted out, his voice full of cold fury. 

“Alright, cool it,” Seastriker entreated, half-rising. “We have a mission here. Let’s get on with it.”

“Right,” Dameron said, snapping to attention. “We’re here because we received a distress call from Sebris Beta.”

Kylo worked himself down to a state of semi-relaxation enough to coherently reply. “And? I’m sure there’s a lot of distress here, given the First Order presence.”

“Yes, but there’s not any distress calls because of it – they have the whole system on communications lockdown. Nothing unauthorized can get in or out.”

Kylo knew that, he’d had to calculate that into his plan. Not that he ever used backup on his jobs. He did his work on his own, or not at all.

“So who contacted you?”

“We don’t know,” Seastriker admitted. “All we know is that whoever it is must be really good at slicing through the First Order’s encryption. Like really good, because not only did they get through, but they got through undetected."

Kylo considered. “And you want to help this person? Just the two of you?”

“Yes and no,” Seastriker said. “We need someone who can break their codes, so we’re here to pull them out.”

“So this isn’t altruistic at all,” Kylo observed, leaning back against the wall of the cave. “You just want this person’s skills.”

“We’re saving them from the First Order,” Dameron replied.

“How do you know that’s what they want? They may refuse to come with you.”

Dameron shrugged. “We’ll deal with it when it comes to it.”

Kylo sat up, beginning to stand. “Ok. Well, you have fun kidnapping your master codebreaker. I have my own job to get back to, so I’ll be heading out now.”

“Not so fast,” Dameron said, stepping in front of the exit, his hand on the holster of his blaster. 

Kylo frowned, only slightly regretful that he’d have to gut the Resistance fighters before he left. “The reunion was nice but I’m done reminiscing, so I’d appreciate it if you moved out of the way.”

“I think our missions could be compatible,” Dameron said, a fiendish glint in his eyes. “Our contact is going to meet us during the general’s inspection of the mines.”

Kylo let out a resigned sigh.

~---~

As much as he was loathe to admit it, Kylo had to agree it had been a good idea to join with this little Resistance mission. 

Their codebreaker had sent an impossibly encrypted message detailing an abandoned mine shaft that, through a series of service tunnels and ice bores, led into the First Order’s main processing facility where they took the raw ore and smelted it before packaging the product to transport to their shipyards.

Again, Kylo couldn’t care less. He was here because of a job, and the sooner he was out the better for everyone involved. 

The Resistance fighters surrounded him as they moved forward silently, Seastriker ahead and Dameron behind. They didn’t trust him and with good reason. Kylo had had several opportunities since they left the camp to kill them and leave their bodies to freeze to the ice, but he didn’t, and he wasn’t sure why. Anyway, it seemed that their codebreaker was as skilled a slicer as Dameron had made him out to be: every sensor and lock in their path had been deactivated.

“Have you ever considered that your contact is just bait?” Kylo mused aloud, treading carefully so that the shards of ice on the ground did not shriek against each other under his boots.

“Yes, it could be a trap.” Dameron grinned, his annoyingly bright smile gleaming in the dim lighting. “But that’s what makes it exciting. Besides, you’re our wild card. They won’t be expecting you.”

Kylo gritted his teeth. Dameron’s reckless attitude grated on his nerves and he was reconsidering this temporary alliance.

“The barracks are just this way,” Seastriker said suddenly, checking their position on his tracking device. “The coordinates show the rendezvous is in one of these rooms here, right above us.”

Dameron, predictably, looked up as if he could see their target. There was an access panel in the ceiling, and Dameron began to scale the ladder.

“Hey,” Kylo hissed. “I thought we were going to the assembly where the general is, not some slum on the opposite side of the base.”

Dameron aborted his ascent, dropping back down to the bottom of the service tunnel with a crunch of ice crystals. “That’s where you’re gonna be, providing us a distraction while we extract our codebreaker, so you better head out.”

“It looks like the assembly hall is back down this tunnel, then through this gate and down the passageway by the officers’ quarters,” Seastriker said, studying the map of the base projected from his holobracelet, casting the faces of the trio in a ghostly blue glow. 

Kylo stared at him, unimpressed. He didn’t mind that they were using his objective as a distraction from their own mission, he’d known as much. But he wasn’t about to wander around the base practically blind, especially when the intel they had was more detailed than what he had been able to scrounge up and memorize before he made planetfall.

“Give me the map.”

Seastriker balked, his breath blowing out in a cloud in front of his face. “What? No. We need it to make our rendezvous.”

“Which is right there,” Kylo said, pointing to the blinking dot on the map that was less than a hundred meters from their current location, then moved his index finger to a spot far distant from them. “My target is over here.”

“Fine, just give him the map,” Dameron said. “We need to move.”

Kylo’s face remained impassive as Seastriker handed over the holodevice with a glare.

“We’ll meet at camp in two standard hours,” Dameron continued. “Good luck.”

Kylo resisted the urge to snort, wondering why the man thought he planned to rejoin them after this.

“Good luck, Be- Kylo,” Seastriker caught himself. Kylo just turned on the heel of his boot.

And promptly tripped a sensor that had reengaged since they’d passed through not five minutes ago.

“Kriff!”

The alarm was silent, but a pulsing red light filled the space with an urgency prodding them to move, to flee.

“Come on,” Dameron ordered. “To the surface. We can move quicker up there.”

There was no argument as they clambered out of the service tunnel and pushed through the access panel. Outside, they found themselves next to a mess of vents in an alleyway that had reeked with the eye-watering stench of rotten refuse. Kylo’s nose wrinkled at the pungent odor and Seastriker outright gagged.

“We have to move,” Kylo said, stripping off his white and gray outer gear that would do nothing to disguise him against the muddy gray-brown that seemed to predominate in the workers’ district. “They’ll already have dispatched the closest patrol to this location.”

“What are you doing?” Seastriker asked, eyes wide as he watched Kylo stuff his jacket behind a tangle of pipes.

“I’d rather not make myself an easy target when the stormtroopers get here,” Kylo stated, already shoving past them to get a look around the end of alley.

“They can’t hit me,” Dameron scoffed.

“Well, I sure as hell am not going to find Leia and tell her that your gut got fried by a stormtrooper’s lucky shot when I get out of here alive,” Kylo said, turning his head to skewer the cocky pilot with a loathing stare. 

“Fine.” The two Resistance fighters began to shuck of their snow camouflage as well before coming up behind Kylo, pressing into the wall beside him.

“What do you see?” Seastriker asked, anxiety leaking into his voice. 

“Not much. A few Haysians going back to their barracks. No First Order yet,” Kylo answered, but even as he said it, he heard several pairs of boots marching up the street around the corner, just out of sight. “Where’s the rendezvous?”

“Right there,” Dameron said, leaning over his shoulder to point to a door across the way.

“That’s just a worker’s barracks,” Kylo hissed in an undertone, fighting the urge to shove Dameron off. 

“Does it matter?”

Kylo ignored him. “Let’s go. Keep your heads down.”

They shuffled out into the street, keeping close to the wall. Their drab clothes were enough for them to not attract immediate attention. Kylo saw that the unit of four stormtroopers had turned the corner led by a pinched looking officer in black uniform, and they were making their way towards them. In a split-second decision, he swerved to cross the street towards the building they needed to reach, almost right in front of the officer. Dameron and Seastriker followed instinctively on his heels, although Kylo thought he heard Seastriker squeak in fear. 

“Get out of the way,” the officer barked, and the stormtrooper flanking him shoved Seastriker so that he slipped in the slick mud and slush covering the street. He would’ve fallen if Dameron hadn’t caught him as the two Resistance fighters scurried out of the way. Meanwhile, Kylo calmly turned back on his heel and shot all five First Order soldiers in the back. 

“What the hell?” Seastriker cried. “Are you insane?”

 _Most definitely_ , Kylo thought. What he said was: “That just bought us some more time.”

“You could have used a little more subtlety,” Seastriker mourned. “There’s no covering that up.”

“Subtlety’s not my thing,” Kylo said, walking closer to ensure that he had actually killed the stormtroopers and the officer lying in the mud, nudging them with his boot.

“That was gutsy. I liked it.” Dameron grinned, a wild twinkle in his dark eyes, which Kylo was beginning to remember as his default expression. Still, Kylo didn’t want to encourage him, so he didn’t respond as he approached the door that Dameron had pointed to a few minutes ago. It wasn’t even a normal sliding door with a passcode. It was a door with real hinges, which just emphasized the poverty of the workers on Hays Minor. Conditions here were worse than he had seen even in the lowest levels of Coruscant, more comparable to the abandoned prison camps on Wobani. He didn’t bother knocking, instead ramming it with his shoulder so that it smashed against the wall and rebounded. Kylo stopped it with his hand as he stepped in, followed by Dameron and Seastriker.

Inside, the room was pathetically small, only slightly wider than the door and not even deep enough for two bodies to lie down lengthwise. It was also lacking any kind of light source so that it took Kylo’s eyes a few seconds to adjust – which is why the girl had a shiv poised to gut him as a clumsy threat before he knew what was happening.

“Who are you?” she demanded with a ferocity that was disproportionate to her size. Kylo had to look down to meet her eyes as he gripped her wrist, easily twisting it into a lock and gently pushing backward until she was forced to let it go or let him break her wrist. Kylo caught it before it could hit the floor and make any noise.

“Rose!” A dark-haired woman pulled the girl to the back of the room, shielding her with her body as the girl cradled her wrist to her chest. Kylo stepped to the side, allowing Dameron to take over the situation as Seastriker shut the door behind them and turned on a small glowlamp to illuminate the crowded space. 

“We’re not going to hurt you. We’re with the Resistance,” Dameron said, holding up a blank signet ring. He brushed a trigger on the edge, revealing the Resistance's sigil.

“What? How? Why are you here?” the woman questioned, pressing further away from them so that the girl behind her was forced to shove back so that she wasn’t crushed.

“We’re here to meet a contact, but, um, it seems like we may have the wrong location,” Dameron said. “I’m sorry we just broke into your room.”

“You need to leave,” the woman said, fear edging her voice. “We can’t be a part of this.”

“Paige!” the girl tried to speak up, but the woman cut her off.

“Not now, Rose,” she hushed her before speaking to Dameron again. “I need you to leave right now.”

“Of course. It’s just, um, they may be looking for us? And we also really need to find our codebreaker.”

The woman stiffened as Kylo watched her with narrowed eyes. 

Dameron continued. “Is there any way you can help us?”

The woman shook her head vigorously. “I’m sorry, no. Please, you have to go.”

“Paige!”

“Alright,” Dameron said reluctantly. “I’m sorry for scaring you.”

The trio turned to leave, and Seastriker put his hand on the door apprehensively, half-expecting a stormtrooper standing on the other side with cuffs ready to snap around their wrists. Kylo felt for his blaster, ready if that was indeed the case.

“Wait! I’m the codebreaker!”

The men turned back. The girl, Rose, stepped around the woman. Actually, now that she was standing directly in the dull light, Kylo realized she wasn’t a girl either, just small and probably malnourished. In fact, she was probably the same age as - 

_No_! Kylo cut off the thought savagely before it could be fully formed.

“What did you say?” Seastriker asked, his eyes shifting between the two who, at this point, were obviously related. 

“Rose, don’t!” the older woman pleaded.

“I’m the codebreaker,” Rose said, crossing her arms and sticking out her chin.

“You?” Dameron chuckled. “I’m sure you could maybe slice a mouse droid’s programming, kid, but we’re looking for someone who broke the First Order’s planetary communication blockade to get a message to the Resistance.”

“Rose, you contacted the Resistance?” the older one – Paige – hissed. “What were you thinking?”

“I was trying to save our home!” Rose retorted. “What was I supposed to do?”

“Not slice into the First Order’s computers! They’ll find out!”

“No, they won’t. I inserted a virus to erase my code so they wouldn’t find out.”

“That's not enough! What if someone had seen you when you were tapping into the system?”

“They never see us,” Rose muttered. “We’re just repair girls.”

“That’s not good enough!”

“Sorry to interrupt,” Dameron broke in, “but _you’re_ the codebreaker that contacted us?”

“I already said that,” Rose said in exasperation. “What, do you have trouble believing it because I’m a girl? Or because I’m young?”

Kylo, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, couldn’t stop the flicker of a smile that touched his lips as he watched Dameron struggle to respond, because, yes, Rose was right on both counts. 

“It doesn’t matter,” Paige said furiously. “You still need to leave.”

“No!” Rose said. “You have to stay and take down the First Order. That’s why you answered my signal, right?”

“Uh, no,” Seastriker said. “We’re actually here to extract you. Your... sister? She can come too.”

“What? No!” Rose said. “You need to take down the First Order. Have you seen what they’ve done to our home?”

The argument that looked to escalate was cut off by a blaring announcement over some kind of ancient broadcasting system outside the barracks.

_ALL RESIDENTS WILL RETURN TO QUARTERS AND PREPARE FOR INSPECTION IMMEDIATELY. NO EXCEPTIONS. ALL RESIDENTS -_

“They know you’re here,” Paige accused. “What did you do?”

Dameron was immediately sheepish. “We may have tripped a sensor.”

“Did you follow my directions?” Rose demanded. Dameron seemed to shrivel before the pair of sisters. 

“Yes, and everything was disabled, but when Kylo here started to backtrack, he tripped something.”

Rose’s eyes widened. “They must have found my virus.”

Paige groaned. “I told you.”

“What do we do?” Seastriker asked, nervous gaze flicking between everyone’s faces, looking for an answer.

“Out the back,” Paige said.

“The ba-” Dameron started, but was saved from finishing his question when the sisters yanked a piece of wood scrap out of the floor, revealing a tiny hole that lead into darkness.

“Our way into the tunnel system,” Paige explained. “Now get moving.”

“Um, are we going to fit?” Dameron asked, glancing at Kylo’s large frame.

“Worry about yourself, Dameron, and get in the kriffing hole,” Kylo growled. Dameron didn’t hesitate again before wriggling through the opening. Seastriker followed soon after, and Kylo gestured for the sisters to go next. “I’ll cover our backs,” he said.

As Kylo squeezed into the space, he twisted his torso to grasp the plank covering their escape and dragged it back over the opening, not before he heard the clump of regulation First Order boots and the dissonance of stormtrooper helmet vocoders outside the front door. 

The wood slipped into place, and Kylo dropped into a service tunnel that looked as unremarkable as the one they had popped up from not a half hour ago. Rose had plugged a small handheld device into a port in the wall and was rapidly typing code, her tongue caught between her teeth.

Dameron was practically vibrating with a need to do something. “Are you done?”

“No,” Rose answered sharply. “They’re trying to block me out, but I’ve almost cleared our route out of here. I assume your ship is on the east side of the Planum Sebris where I told you to land?”

“Yes,” Dameron replied, fidgeting. Seastriker’s face was devoid of emotion, repressing his nerves, much like Kylo’s.

“Alright,” Rose said, detaching from the port. “Let’s go.”

Kylo didn’t pay attention to details from the next few hours, the tunnels and bores they traversed melding together in his memory. He did remember Dameron's offer once they made it back to the Resistance fighters’ X-wings. 

“Come back with us. You could really help our cause,” Dameron said. Then he seemed to fortify himself. “And - and your mother would like to know you’re alive.”

“No,” Kylo said. “Ben Solo doesn’t exist anymore.”

Dameron sighed. “I don’t know if I can keep this from her. Rose and Paige have seen you too.”

“They don’t know enough. Just keep Seastriker quiet. I meant what I said about killing you if you force me to.”

Dameron’s eyes burned into Kylo’s before he finally nodded. “Fine. It’s not my business.”

“It’s not,” Kylo agreed mildly.

“Sorry we spoiled your hit. Taking out Hux would’ve been a win for all of us.”

“It’s just a job. I’ll get another one.”

“Right.” Dameron hesitated before holding out a hand. “Until next time, Kylo.”

Kylo smirked but took his hand. “Sure, Dameron.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment or kudos to let me know what you think! 
> 
> I know this chapter was sorely lacking one half of our protagonist, but don't worry, we're getting there :)
> 
> Update in two weeks!


	2. Second

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my awesome beta, [AngstyWriter](https://angstywriterangst.tumblr.com)
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](https://a-nerd-obsessed.tumblr.com)

_Two years later..._

Kylo was bored.

He numbly watched the Aurebesh characters scroll by in a never-ending stream on the terminal. Someone shouted angrily nearby, so Kylo crouched closer, ignoring the other mercenaries and persons of questionable character who crowded the open message market. The market was at the tip of Chrome Citadel, a seedy space station overrun with criminals of every flavor, rank with the rancid smell of unwashed bodies and the pungent scent of hyperdrive fuel. 

Kylo’s face was set in a scowl under the dark hood casting a shadow over his features. They were all the same, the job postings arousing none of his interest.

_UNEXPECTED PACKAGE NEEDS DELIVERY DISCRETION REQUIRED_

Smuggling. Not Kylo’s thing, although he had done a few odd jobs when he felt like it. But it was against his nature to bluff and hide when things went sideways, so he kept looking. 

_FRIEND MISSING FOR FOUR WEEKS GENEROUS PAYMENT ON RECOVERY_

Someone wanted a turncoat taken out before they did any damage. Four weeks and generous payment meant that someone was desperate. No fun in that.

_LIVE CARGO TO AKIVA NO QUESTIONS ASKED_

He sneered. Slaving wasn’t in his job description either.

_3K SP TO CORUSCANT FROM DANTOOINE_

Like he was stupid enough to take spice into Coruscanti air space and get tangled up in that mess. It was disgusting, the amount of extralegal bureaucracy one had to go through on the city planet to get into the drug market.

_BOUNTY OFFERED FOR LIVE CAPTURE OF HIGH PRIORITY TARGET, IDENTITY AND IMAGES ON ACCEPTANCE ONLY_

Kylo tagged the job quickly before someone else snatched it up. His scowl eased when the screen lit up with a confirmation, then spat out information for making contact with his new employer: dock A113 in three standard hours. Kylo’s eyebrows raised. Whoever they were, they must be eager to get on with it. That was fine with him, he’d just have to hurry down to the main market and buy the supplies he’d need and refuel his ship to be ready for a quick departure. His feet were already moving before he knew it, parting the sea of reprobates still swarming the consoles as he stalked out of the message market.

~---~ 

Kylo lurked across the aisle from dock A113, waiting for his contact to appear. The ship locked onto the dock was a shabby freighter, more dents and dings than anything else. Still, his experience with ships told Kylo that appearances meant nothing, and anyway, chances were that this wasn’t even his employer’s. This was just the location of their rendezvous. 

Kylo observed the passersby idly, leaning in a crevice of the airlock holding two adjacent segments of the space station together. There were a few smuggler-types, always the slightest bit antsy, their eyes cutting from side to side while they tried to keep their gait casual; some spice dealers, using transport droids to transfer their ill-disguised cargo between ships; even a few small-time bounty hunters that skittered away when they noticed Kylo lurking. It always brought him a small bit of something like pleasure to know he inspired fear in the amateurs.

Then someone sauntered into view who clearly didn’t belong, even though he was trying very hard to fit in and apparently thought it was working, given the confident swagger he was projecting. Kylo narrowed his eyes at the man, noticing the dark curls that sprang free from his cap.

_What the hell._

When he was close enough, Kylo snatched the man and pulled him through a service port, slamming him against a wall. The durasteel was slick with grease, making it easier to shove his capture up so that his boots were dangling a few centimeters off the ground.

“Dameron.”

“Kylo?”

“What are you doing here?”

“Oh, thank the stars, it’s finally you. You know how many times I had to post that ad and hope that you’d turn up?”

Kylo leaned over him, pushing him further up the wall although he refrained from choking him yet. “What are you doing here,” Kylo menaced, his voice low.

“Whoa, calm down. I was trying to find you.”

Kylo let him go with a growl of disgust and Dameron slid down to the ground, the pilot’s nose wrinkling as he examined the grease stains on his flight pants. Kylo crossed his arms, impatient with Dameron's vanity. Who knew how many good jobs he’d missed while he was waiting around for Poe _kriffing_ Dameron to show up. 

“I need your help again.”

Kylo bit out a laugh. “You know how much trouble I had to deal with after our last joint venture? I hardly think it’s worth it. No matter what you think you have to convince me.”

Dameron’s face went serious. “Actually, I’m kind of hoping you won’t shoot me when I tell you what it is.”

Kylo gave him a flat stare from under his cowl. Dameron took off his cap and tousled his curls before meeting Kylo’s eyes.

“The Resistance has found the map to Skywalker.”

Kylo blinked. Dameron squirmed.

“The map to Skywalker.”

“Well, sort of. It’s the map to the first Jedi temple where we think he’s gone, and we’ve made contact with the person holding onto it.”

“Skywalker’s dead,” Kylo announced flatly.

“No, he’s not. Leia says they didn’t find his body at the Academy. He’s still out there.”

“A corpse means nothing. He was a Jedi.”

“The perimeter sensors were still active at the Academy. There were three departures that day: you, whoever killed everyone, and one more: Luke.”

“This is all speculation,” Kylo scoffed. 

“Your mother said she would know if he was dead. Just like she would know if you were dead.”

Kylo stared at Dameron, clenching his jaw. Dameron must have sensed his ire because he skittered backwards to avoid him. Unfortunately, Kylo’s arm was longer than average, and he snatched Dameron’s collar and hauled him back.

“What did you tell Leia?”

“Let go,” Dameron shouted, shoving Kylo back and aiming a blaster at his face. Kylo’s scowl didn’t twitch. “I told her I could find you, alright? I told her that you were alive, at least two years ago.”

Kylo froze.

“When we tracked down the map, Leia said the contact was easily spooked, and would probably go to ground if we tried to reach him. San Tekka? She said you knew him. So I said I could find you.”

“Put that thing away before you shoot something on accident,” Kylo snapped, stepping closer to Dameron and shoving the blaster to the side. “I’m not helping you on your little mission, Dameron, so you might as well leave.”

Dameron opened and shut his mouth a few times, then turned away, running his hand through his hair. When he faced Kylo again, his mouth was set in a hard line. “Alright, I’m going to be honest with you. Nobody knows I’m here.”

Kylo scoffed. “That’s a stupid thing to tell me.”

“So you got that I’m desperate, right? Because I am _desperate_.”

Kylo remained unmoved.

“Snoke and the First Order are after the map, too,” Dameron explained, and Kylo stiffened at the name. “And I know you don’t give a damn about anything anymore, but you have to know what that means! If they find the map, and if Skywalker’s there, then that’s it. That’s the end.”

“As you so accurately phrased it, I don’t give a damn,” Kylo pointed out. “And you’re being a little melodramatic if you think that the fate of the galaxy hinges on one man, who may or may not be dead.” He moved away from Dameron, but the Resistance fighter grabbed his arm.

“He wouldn’t have been my first choice, but since you’ve sidelined yourself, we’re running out of options.” Dameron let go, almost shoving Kylo away. “And would you really let your uncle get snatched up by Snoke and the Knights of Ren? I know you _don’t give a damn,_ but come on. Something inside you’s got to care.”

“Knights of Ren? Good luck.” Kylo put a hand on the service port, his back to Dameron, already mentally lost in the bustle and murmur of the criminal side of the galaxy going about their business on the other side. “I think you’re still overestimating my familial attachments.” 

“Well, okay, then please, do it for me,” Dameron pleaded, his voice just on the verge of cracking.

Kylo couldn’t help but laugh at that one – a real laugh, like he hadn’t laughed in a long time. When he turned, Dameron’s face seemed pale even in the sick yellow light from the glow panels lining the service tunnel.

“I really don’t want to die because of the First Order or a Knight of Ren, especially not here.”

Kylo sobered. “Here?”

“Um, yes?”

Kylo was on him in two giant steps. Dameron staggered back, squawking as his boots slipped and he attempted to regain his balance. Kylo caught him by his shirtfront again so that he didn’t fall.

“What have you done this time, Dameron? Tell me everything,” Kylo demanded.

“I may have picked up a large tail. A Star Destroyer-sized tail. But I don’t think they’ve boarded this station yet.”

Kylo swore. “And why the kriff did you think it was a good idea to drag me into this?”

Dameron’s eyes got that flinty almost fanatical look Kylo had learned to dread. “Because you’re my only chance right now.”

“I’m not -” 

Kylo swiveled his head towards the service port. The ambient noise of the crowd outside had shifted, become slightly quieter. Nothing alarming, but -

“We need to go,” Kylo ordered, letting go of Dameron who stumbled after him to the service port. 

“Where are we going?” Dameron asked.

“You,” Kylo said, spinning abruptly to shove his face into the shorter man’s, “don’t get to ask questions.”

“Whatever,” Dameron huffed, pulling out a commlink. Kylo tried to snatch it from his grasp, but Dameron was already talking into it. “Beebee-Ate, you there?”

A chirp of binary answered, sounding concerned.

“No droids,” Kylo ordered.

“Nice try. Beebee, I need you to meet us...” Dameron trailed off, raising his eyebrows at Kylo. _Stars,_ Kylo hated this man.

“Level B, section 200.”

“And hurry,” Dameron finished. “Make sure you’re not followed.”

BB-8 bleeped something in an offended tone that Kylo didn’t quite catch before signing off.

“Alright, let’s go.”

Kylo put his hand to the port again, slowly easing it open, and peered through the slit to look up the corridor. The passersby seemed unusually subdued, maintaining a forced casual air. The few vendors set up along this portion of Chrome Citadel had packed up their illegal wares and had shuttered their stalls. Then he saw them: two First Order stormtroopers tromping towards Dameron’s rendezvous location, surveying the corridor through the dead lens of their white helmets.

“Dameron,” Kylo said in an undertone, “where’s your ship?”

“Level D, but, uh, I’m pretty sure that’s how they tracked me here – so that’s a no-go.”

Kylo sighed, resigning himself to escaping with Dameron on his own starcraft. The space station was a series of concentric rings stacked on top of each other, and the _Pearl_ was only on level B – one level above their current position. “Follow my lead.”

Kylo stepped through the port, his blaster leveled at the First Order scouts. Two well-placed shots downed them before they even registered his presence, although he was sure their cries of shock and pain had been picked up by their comms.

“Let’s go,” Kylo growled, already storming away to the nearest lift.

“Again?” Dameron said, casting a glance at the fallen soldiers before running after Kylo.

The lift was guarded by more stormtroopers, but Kylo picked them off without hesitation, shielding himself behind a support column. Dameron, hiding behind the curve of the corridor, took out the officer shouting orders, creating a smoking hole in the First Order uniform. Once they all were still, Kylo and Dameron sprinted for the lift, which thankfully was already on their level. The door slid shut and they began to rise.

Kylo braced himself to blast their way out once the doors opened. Some part of his mind chuckled with dark humor when he remembered that only a few hours before he’d been bemoaning his boredom. That had changed quickly.

The lift arrived at level B, opening to reveal chaos. Unlike the lower level, it appeared that the First Order hadn’t established control. Every kind of lowlife was running about frantically, heedless of the individuals being crushed underfoot or smashed against the walls of the corridor. Shots rang out over the heads of the crowd, although Kylo couldn’t tell if it was from First Order stormtroopers or panicked denizens of Chrome Citadel. 

Kylo stepped off the lift, his eyes scanning the mob, but he couldn’t see any telltale glimpses of white armor, and as far as he knew they weren’t looking for him. They were looking for Dameron – and now was the perfect opportunity to lose the stubborn Resistance pilot, forgetting the man’s likely fate or the supposed fate of the galaxy that hung in the balance.

Kylo glanced at Dameron, whose forehead was beaded with sweat, his eyes alight with a wild glint. Dameron was grinning in borderline delirious excitement and Kylo had to shove away memories of another brilliant smile, one that stirred something inside him that he thought had been killed. He shuddered. Even if this misadventure brought Kylo dangerously close to things he knew could be his undoing – the Resistance and the First Order – maybe it could keep his demons at bay, even if it was just for a few days. Kylo felt his throat close up and Dameron raised his eyebrows.

“You alright, Kylo?”

Kylo schooled his features, turning so Dameron couldn’t see his eyes. “Switch off, Dameron. You don’t get questions, remember? Especially stupid ones.”

Kylo pushed into the mass, making sure that Dameron was behind him despite the desperate shoves driving the crowd. The _Pearl_ was only a few docks away, and they made it there by keeping their heads and Kylo’s ability to plow through people like a conveyex. They found Kylo’s pursuit craft untouched, which was miraculous given the desperation of everyone on Chrome Citadel to jump ship to avoid the First Order, but probably due to the extensive security measures Kylo had added to keep the riffraff and saboteurs away. Except, apparently, a little orange-and-white astromech that immediately began to accost them in a series of beeps and whistles.

“Hey, buddy, calm down, we’re fine. We’re here now,” Dameron assured him as Kylo opened the _Pearl’s_ port. "Are you alright?”

BB-8 whistled blithely and followed Kylo on board without hesitation. In the _Pearl’s_ cockpit, Kylo settled into the pilot’s seat, his fingers flying over the controls to begin the priming sequence. 

“Can you go a bit faster?” Dameron asked, hanging over Kylo’s seat.

“I can throw you out of the airlock at any point, Dameron, but please, feel free to take a seat.”

Dameron sat in the gunner’s seat, strapping himself in. Too bad – Kylo would’ve enjoyed listening to him fly backwards against the bulkhead when they jetted out of the dock. 

“Oh, kriff,” Dameron whispered. 

Kylo looked up. “What?”

He needn’t have asked. When he looked out of the front viewport, he saw the deadly triangle blocking out the stars. BB-8 beeped fearfully.

“That’s the _Finalizer_ ,” Dameron said, his voice high from excitement, although Kylo couldn’t tell if it was from fear or thrill. “I knew they were after me, but that’s _them_. Not just a few bucketheads. I must really have them scared.” 

Kylo took a moment to admire the _Resurgent-_ class Star Destroyer, baring its underbelly to the station. He hadn’t seen one this close before, and now they were close enough that he could see its bay doors open like it was spawning. TIE squadrons dropped out, screaming around Chrome Citadel, and transports poured forth, carrying more stormtroopers to subdue the space station from the inside. Another ship attempting to escape the siege jettisoned from the station a few levels above the _Pearl_ and was promptly blown to pieces by a well-aimed shot by a swooping TIE fighter.

“We’re going to have to fight our way out,” Dameron said eagerly. Kylo decided Dameron was definitely on the wrong side of excited. 

“No, really?” he drawled, releasing the _Pearl_ from the dock. “Can you aim, Dameron?”

“Hell yes,” Dameron responded.

“Alright, switching over weapons systems to you,” Kylo said. “I’m going to fly us out of your mess.”

“Yes, sir!”

They shot forward as BB-8 shrieked and Kylo immediately swooped down and twisted under the station, guns blazing, with at least five TIEs on their tail. 

Dameron was shouting something excitedly, but Kylo ignored him in favor of splitting his attention between taking them in a tight spiral up the opposite side of the station and plugging in coordinates to the navcomp, which he suddenly realized he didn’t know.

“Where is the map?” Kylo yelled to Dameron, dodging the antennae and ports sprouting from the exterior of the station as the First Order fighters screamed after them. 

“Jakku! Jakku, hurry! BB-8 has the coordinates”

“Jakku?! Are you -” Kylo sputtered. He only had a millisecond to throw a silent accusation into the ether before BB-8 had plugged into a dataport and was uploading coordinates into the navcomp. The _Pearl_ was already rounding the edge of Chrome Citadel so that the _Finalizer_ was in sight again. Dameron’s shouts had started to become screams as a blast glanced off their port side shield.

“Don’t you have a cloaking generator on this thing?” Dameron hollered.

“They can already see us, Dameron.” Kylo pushed forward on the throttle so that they were barreling towards the Star Destroyer that was rapidly growing in their field of vision. “We need to actually disappear.”

The navcomp chirped the completion of its hyperspace calculations helped by BB-8 as Poe hit a pursuing fighter dead center, turning it into a firework of orange and white. Kylo jerked the _Pearl_ up, so that they were flying parallel to the _Finalizer_. He leaned forward, engaging the hyperdrive, and felt that familiar tug as they switched dimensions.

But just before the chaos around Chrome Citadel was snatched away, Kylo felt something else pulling him out of the moment. It pushed in on his mind, crushing him into his seat so he couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. His wide eyes jumped to the _Finalizer,_ right as the _Pearl_ leapt forward into hyperspace.

As Dameron cheered from the gunner’s seat, Kylo slumped forward, gasping for air.

~---~

In a meditation chamber aboard the _Finalizer_ , a Dark presence had become dissolved, dissipating into the web of the Force as it sought answers and wisdom for its task. 

It was at peace, lost to itself, almost ignorant of its own consciousness.

Then something created a depression in the Force, almost like a gravity well. Its consciousness began to slide towards the gaping hole, starting to coalesce into awareness.

But then the depression was gone, winking out of existence, or at least out of reach, and tranquility resumed.

Still, the spell of meditation had been broken, and the Dark presence came back to itself with a shudder before rising to stand. Whatever caused the disturbance it had just experienced, it would be best to seek guidance from the Supreme Leader.

~---~

“General.”

General Hux turned to see Lieutenant Mitaka standing at attention behind him on the bridge of the _Finalizer_. “Yes?”

“We believe the Resistance pilot has abandoned his ship at Chrome Citadel, sir, and has escaped with a bounty hunter known as Kylo.”

Hux took a step towards the shorter man, who swallowed visibly but held his ground. “You believe, or you know?”

“We know, sir. We also placed a tracker on the bounty hunter’s vessel so we will be able to trace their location once they leave hyperspace.”

“Are they going for the map?”

Mitaka swallowed again. “We believe so, sir.”

“Perfect.” Hux turned away to look out the expansive viewport and allowed a thin smile to cross his face. “Keep me informed.”

“Yes, sir.”

Hux surveyed the starry vista before him. _I will find Skywalker soon, Supreme Leader._

“Are you still standing there?”

“Yes, sir. I mean, no, sir.” 

Hux heard the sound of Mitaka’s smart bootsteps fading away, even as quieter footsteps followed by the whisper of a cape came up and stood next to him. Hux stiffened but didn’t turn. The words spoken distressingly close to his ear were distorted by a vocoder.

“I also would like to be informed, General.”

Hux’s hand twitched next to the blaster pistol in his belt. “Of course, Ren.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! If you're celebrating Christmas, I hope it's a good one. Thanks so much for reading, and feel free to leave a kudos or comment to let me know what you think!
> 
> Next time I post will be 2019, so see you on the other side!


	3. Third

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to the greatest beta there is, [AngstyWriter](https://angstywriterangst.tumblr.com)!
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](https://a-nerd-obsessed.tumblr.com)

From space, Jakku looked inconspicuous. Its surface was a light beige, unbroken by any variation until it faded into a uniform darkness on the far side of the planet. The faded blue along the edges of the globe evidenced that it had an atmosphere, which made the planet habitable, if barely tolerable with its extreme daytime heat, plummeting night temperatures, and deadly sandstorms. 

BB-8 chirped a question. 

“Yeah, buddy, this is it. We’re finally going to get that map,” Dameron replied. 

Kylo was still in the pilot’s seat, guiding the _Pearl_ through Jakku’s orbit to the dark side of the planet where BB-8’s coordinates indicated. His face was set in a glower, his jabs at the controls panel unusually forceful. 

Dameron left the gunner’s seat and came to stand behind Kylo in the cockpit. “So, you think you can get him to give us the map?”

Kylo’s mouth twisted wryly at Dameron’s question. He had become an expert at extracting information from people using both overt and covert methods, but Kylo was sure that wasn’t what Dameron had been asking. 

“Are you sure San Tekka is here?” Kylo asked curtly as the sun slipped behind the desert planet’s horizon. 

“Positive,” Dameron replied. “He has to be.”

“That doesn’t mean he is,” Kylo growled.

“He is. Come on, don’t you ever have a feeling about something?”

Kylo’s shoulders tensed. “No.” 

“Yes, you do. It’s called instincts. You’d be dead without them.”

Kylo thought about the odd pressure he’d felt as they escaped the siege of Chrome Citadel. It felt like a hell of a lot more than an instinct, nearly crushing him with its intensity. He shuddered. “Back off, Dameron. Quit breathing on my neck.”

“Sure, fine. Just hurry up and get us down there.”

“Dameron,” Kylo warned.

“Sorry. Not used to being a backseat pilot.”

Kylo began the entry into Jakku’s atmosphere, sending them into a path toward Tuanul. He caught a glimpse of the starlit shadows of wrecked Star Destroyers and New Republic warships as they flew northwards over the Graveyard. He had never been here before, even though he knew much more than the average person in the galaxy would know about the backwater desert planet. It was the site of the destruction of the Imperial remnant during the Battle of Jakku, which made it fascinating for history buffs, but it also held another importance that Kylo pointedly ignored as they neared the sand dunes covering the surface. His fists clenched.

The _Pearl_ touched down beyond the outskirts of the village, which was quiet in the late-night hours. Kylo let out a breath as Jakku’s gravity settled fully over them. He had developed the habit of using this moment to pause, to think, to make his plan. But right then, Kylo couldn’t come up with a plan to deal with the mess that lay outside his ship waiting for him.

“Alright, let’s do this,” Poe cheered, oblivious to Kylo’s internal storm. 

Kylo closed his eyes for a second before getting up to face the Resistance pilot, who was talking to his droid. 

“Beebee, I’m going to have you stay on the perimeter and keep a sharp eye out, okay? I don’t expect trouble, but if there is, you let us know, alright?”

BB-8 chirped his compliance, swiveling his monoculus to look up at Kylo as he joined them. Kylo jammed a fist onto the panel to open the door, letting them off. Dry, cool air billowed up into the ship, bringing the smell of dead earth and the sound of shrill insects. Dameron went first, bounding down to the sandy ground with BB-8 on his heels. Kylo followed more slowly, sealing the _Pearl_ up behind them. 

Dameron and his droid were halfway to the softly glowing firelight of the settlement when Kylo finally collected himself enough to walk after them. He already could see the familiar silhouette that was waiting for them on the edge of the light, although perhaps a little more bent over than Kylo remembered. 

When Kylo stopped in front of him, both old acquaintances stood silently for a moment, regarding each other. Dameron and BB-8 waited, eyes darting between them. Kylo could tell Dameron was nervous, fidgeting in the corner of his eye as the silence dragged on, probably nervous that the old man would create a smoke screen and vanish. Kylo, on the other hand, was dreading when the silence would end. He frowned and crossed his arms, refusing to break the old man’s gaze. 

“Ben Solo,” Lor San Tekka acknowledged first. 

Kylo glared but didn’t contradict him, knowing it would only earn him lectures and disappointed frowns. “San Tekka.”

“And I’m Poe Dameron, sir. I’m glad to finally meet you,” Dameron gushed.

“As am I. Welcome to Tuanul. Come, we will be more comfortable conducting our business sitting down with some fresh tea, I think.”

“Wait here, Beebee,” Dameron instructed, answered by an exasperated whistle of confirmation. 

San Tekka waved them into the village, where the few inhabitants still awake observed them with quiet, curious gazes. Kylo ignored them, even as he felt his skin crawl with all the eyes watching him.

“Relax a little,” Dameron whispered next to his elbow. “I think San Tekka likes you. You’re doing great.”

“Personal space, Dameron. I need it.”

“Yeah, right. Sure,” Dameron jibed, but moved so that he wasn’t walking right next to Kylo.

San Tekka led them to a tent-like dwelling not far into the settlement. Dameron ducked inside immediately, but Kylo took a moment to look up at the stars, which burned clearly in the night sky. He reached into the inner pocket of his jacket to rub the smooth orb between his fingers that he kept hidden there, letting the familiar feeling soothe him. If he didn’t kill someone before dawn, it would be a miracle.

One more steadying breath, and he pushed into San Tekka’s lodgings.

~---~

General Hux was on the bridge of the _Finalizer,_ lost in the quiet hum of First Order efficiency. Below him in the control stations, lieutenants and petty officers performed the necessary tasks of monitoring the Star Destroyer’s activities, their boot heels clicking sharply across gleaming floors. His back to them, Hux clasped his hands behind him as his eyes focused on the atmospheric assault launchers through the viewport. He tracked their arc over the Star Destroyer before they dove down towards the planet below. A thin smile split his face.

“Sir, we have another launch from the main hangar,” a voice crackled over the communication system. 

“What?” Hux spun on his heel, his face furious.

“Ren’s command shuttle, sir. It’s gone after Captain Phasma’s raid party,” a technician in one of the pits on the bridge spoke up. Hux’s face reddened. He had been trying to keep their profile low so their quarry wouldn’t flee before they acquired the map. Ren could blow their cover wide open.

Hux opened his mouth to order them to do _something,_ but he couldn’t very well shoot down Ren’s ship or send out a squadron after them because that would risk drawing more attention than he wanted.

“Hugs, you might want to close your mouth. It’s not a good look on you, and we wouldn’t want you choking on any flies that wander in.”

Hux snapped his mouth shut as the lithe, dark-clad figure of Silyana Ren sauntered onto the bridge, flicking her blond braid over her shoulder with a smirk. He glared furiously at her before turning abruptly to stare out the viewport again.

“It’s your own fault,” Silyana pointed out when she came to stand next to him, her helmet tucked into the crook of her elbow. She was one of the only Knights of Ren who didn’t insist on wearing those silly masks all the time, just so Hux could see how her expression openly mocked him every day. It almost made him prefer the masked Knights, their faces hidden and unknowable behind metal and vocoders. Except Hux hated not knowing more than he hated being made a mockery.

“Did you really not think that she’d find out that the map was here, on this planet, and you were trying to retrieve it without telling her?” Silyana continued. She sighed and shook her head, fixing her eyes on distant stars while Hux stood stiffly, clenching his jaw. “We’re all on this ship together, Hux.”

“Unless you plan to take over command of this mission, I’ll have to ask you to remove yourself from the bridge,” Hux fumed. 

“Oh, don’t worry, I was just coming to check up on you.”

 _You mean make sure I don’t blow your master out of the sky,_ Hux thought.

“I’ll get out of your slick hair now. But remember, Hux, it doesn’t work to try and keep secrets from the Master of the Knights of Ren,” Silyana chided. “She will always be informed, with or without you.”

Hux turned to watch her leave, her long blonde braid swaying as she moved away. His posture didn’t relax, even when the door slid shut behind her. Instead he began to pace furiously, trying to work out some of his frustration.

“Keep me apprised of the strike team’s progress,” Hux barked, “and _every move_ that Ren makes.”

“Yes, sir!” the commanding bridge officer answered.

~---~

Kylo took one sip of the tea and remembered why he couldn’t stand the stuff. It was hot water barely tainted by dead leaves and it did absolutely nothing for him. It was the weakest thing he’d had to drink in years besides straight water, and he was tempted to dump it out on the rugs that made up the floor of Lor San Tekka’s dwelling. 

“The General will be pleased that you’re well,” Dameron was saying, smiling at San Tekka. 

“The General,” San Tekka chuckled. “To me, she is royalty.”

“She certainly is that,” Dameron agreed, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. Kylo abruptly set down the mug of tea. Dameron had been so worried about making contact with San Tekka and here they were chatting it up like old friends, gushing over his mother, of all things. Kylo scowled.

San Tekka noticed his frustration, turning to observe Kylo. Kylo did the same, noting the thoughtful twinkle in his eyes surrounded by the deep creases worn in San Tekka’s face, the proud set of his shoulders even though his expression was weary.

“Ben Solo. Much has happened to you since we last shared words.”

“I could say the same to you.”

“You could,” San Tekka agreed.

“Do you have the map?” Kylo demanded, tamping down the urge to fidget. The old man’s gaze seemed to search his soul.

“What have you done to yourself?” San Tekka asked quietly, his eyes wandering over Kylo.

 _Oh, no_. The old man was actually concerned for him. This was not what Kylo signed up for. Actually, he hadn’t signed up for any of this. He shot a glare at Dameron, who was observing the conversation with curious eyes, before scowling at San Tekka.

“It doesn’t matter. It’s done,” Kylo retorted. “We came for the map. Do you have it or not?”

“Come on, man. Calm down,” Dameron interjected. Kylo ignored him.

San Tekka seemed to have forgotten about the Resistance pilot, instead keeping his attention fixed on Kylo. Kylo stared back, the hostility burning in his eyes having no effect on the old man. 

Finally, San Tekka nodded to himself, a sad smile on his lips that made Kylo shift in his seat. He reached for a small wooden box with a latch, opening it carefully. Slowly, he plucked out a datastick and extended it towards Kylo. Dameron was almost vibrating with excitement on the seat next to Kylo.

“This will begin to make things right,” San Tekka murmured.

After a moment, Kylo reached out and took the proffered object, slipping it into his inner jacket pocket where it bumped against his other reluctant possession. He didn’t see how a map to the first Jedi temple where Luke Skywalker may or may not be hiding out, if he wasn’t already dead, would help anything. But Kylo wanted to get out of here, and if accepting San Tekka’s gift was what it took to get out from under his scrutiny, Kylo would take it.

“The balance must be restored,” San Tekka said with conviction.

“Well, because of you, now we have a chance,” Dameron beamed. San Tekka nodded at him.

The doorway to San Tekka’s dwelling burst open with a clatter. Kylo’s hand went to his blaster, but Dameron was already on his knees in front of his droid, who was babbling frantically. Kylo could barely catch two words from the rapid stream of binary, but Dameron seemed to understand. He looked back at the two men behind him.

“We’ve got company.”

Kylo and Dameron erupted from the tent with BB-8 on their heels bleeping hysterically. Kylo pulled out his quadnocs and aimed them in the direction the astromech had indicated. He scanned the horizon, focusing the lens, until he caught sight of the ships skimming over the sands towards them. He pulled the quadnocs away from his face. 

“First Order.” Kylo turned to face San Tekka. “You need to hide.”

“You need to leave,” San Tekka replied.

Kylo started to move, turning to head back to his ship. “Droid, go start the engine,” he ordered, and BB-8 for once didn’t make a snippy comment, instead scurrying off ahead of him. Then Kylo realized the only footsteps he heard were his own. He looked back to see Dameron hesitating, and he could see that stupid hero glint in his eyes. 

“Now, Dameron!” 

“Go!” San Tekka urged. Dameron looked pained, but then he finally nodded. Kylo had to resist the urge to roll his eyes as Dameron set his shoulders back, passion and determination in the set of his jaw and shoulders.

Together, the two men sprinted through the settlement. The villagers had become aware of the impending threat, so although it had appeared to be asleep just minutes prior, Tuanul came alive with cocked weapons and shouted instructions. The _Pearl_ came online as Kylo and Dameron made it to the edge of the village. At the same time, two atmospheric assault launchers touched down on the sands on the opposite side of Tuanul.

Kylo had outpaced Dameron and dashed through the _Pearl’s_ side port into the cockpit. BB-8 was plugged into the ship’s navigational system and chirped worriedly at Kylo when they heard weapons firing across the village.

“They’re attacking the villagers,” Dameron gasped as he skidded in behind them. “Hurry!”

“I can see that,” Kylo gritted out, settling into the pilot’s seat. 

“We’ve got to go!”

“Shut up and sit down!” Kylo shouted back, glancing out the viewport towards the village. “Oh, great.”

Two stormtroopers had spotted them and fired their weapons at the _Pearl._ The shields were not online, so what normally wouldn’t have even grazed the ship thoroughly rattled the cockpit.

“Dameron!”

“On it.” Dameron sat down in his seat again and took control of the weapons system. The _Pearl’s_ blaster fired once, twice, and the stormtroopers were blown away.

“About time,” Kylo growled. He tried to lift off but the engines sputter. 

BB-8, still plugged into the ship’s computer, whistled a notification.

“Offline?” Dameron repeated. 

“No, no, no!” Kylo lunged out of the cockpit and back into the night. When he looked up, he could see the flames spurting out of the engines. 

“Kriff!” Kylo shouted, kicking the sand uselessly. 

Dameron disembarked from the _Pearl_ and quickly recognized that they were grounded. He gripped Kylo’s shoulders and Kylo immediately made to throw him back, a vibroblade appearing in his hand.

“Kylo, you still have the map, right?” Dameron demanded.

“The map?” Kylo spat, incredulous.

“Yes, the map. You have to get out of here.”

“What?”

“Go, now! I’ll hold them off.”

“Are you insane?”

“They know who I am, but they don’t know you.”

“Get off me, Dameron,” Kylo hissed.

Dameron continued, desperation bright in his eyes. “You didn’t sign up to die today anyway. You’re our only hope. Take BB-8 and find the Resistance!”

Dameron shoved him back towards the dark desert wastes beyond the _Pearl,_ then turned, holding a blaster rifle that had been stowed on board and charging back towards the village. 

Kylo watched him go, stunned for a moment. BB-8 banged into his knee, chirping at him insistently, looking back at the flashes of blaster fire in the village. 

“Stop it, ball,” Kylo warned, but turned anyway and began to run into the desert.

~---~

Poe hid himself behind a short sand dune and set up the rifle with practiced ease. When he set his eye to the sight, he saw a closer view of the carnage and the stormtroopers running through the village, shooting the inhabitants at will. Poe was both impressed with the villagers’ resistance and angry at the invaders’ brutality, but he repressed those emotions to maintain his focus and ignore the guilt that seeped into his thoughts.

Poe began firing rapidly, picking off as many stormtroopers as he could get without putting the villagers at risk. Flames sprouted from the dwellings and Poe could smell the acrid smoke on the wind. Though many stormtroopers fell, Tuanul was quickly overwhelmed and the villagers were herded towards the center. Poe could tell they were looking for him when the troopers ripped off head coverings and turned over dead bodies. He increased his grip on the rifle and furiously fired off more shots.

Another engine’s growl came from the night sky. Poe glanced upwards, despairing at the thought of First Order reinforcements. But what he saw was actually much worse. 

A dark command shuttle descended like a bird of prey, landing at the edge of the village and blowing up sand as it settled. After a moment, the ramp opened and a small, dark figure glided down onto the sand. Even though she was draped in dark robes, Poe could see the deadly power in her body and posture. The lower half of her face was hidden by silky gray cloth wrapped over smooth metal, framed by the sleek, gleaming mask obscuring the rest of her face. Her head was covered with a deep cowl and her eyes were invisible, making her appear faceless, inhuman. Behind her, two more dark figures followed, bringing a chill of dread.

“Oh, kriff,” Poe Dameron whispered under his breath.

~---~

The Knight of Ren looked around the village, now completely contained by the stormtroopers. A soldier with bright chrome armor and captain’s marking came up to her and stood a few meters away.

“The village is secure, sir,” Phasma reported.

The knight didn’t respond.

The villagers were huddled together, blasters trained on their shivering forms, fearfully silenced by her arrival. Her fists clenched as she felt sand shifting underneath her boots, but she stalked forward to meet the old man coming towards her. Her companions did not move from beneath the shuttle.

The old man looked furious, his wrinkled visage burning with indignation even as his home went up in flames around him.

She spoke then, though her lips were invisible, the words distorted by metal and silk. “You know what I’ve come for.”

“I know where you come from. And I know where you are going, Kira Ren.”

Kira stiffened. Even now, the old man insisted on teaching cryptic lessons. She had no patience for this. “The map to Skywalker. We know you’ve found it, and now you’re going to give it to the First Order.”

“The First Order arose from the Dark Side. You did not.”

Kira growled. “You know that’s not true, old man. You know what I was capable of even then. Imagine what I am capable of now.”

The old man shook his head mournfully. “You still look to the past, but the belonging you seek is not behind, it is ahead.”

“I’m already ahead, old man.” Shrieking crimson exploded from her grip and she stabbed forward, spearing the old man through the gut. He gaped in shock as his flesh sizzled, then Kira tilted her blade. His tired body slid off, collapsing to the ground in a flutter of robes. Although now sightless and empty, his eyes seemed to fixate on hers through the mask.

Kira stared down at the corpse at her feet. She could feel the shock roll through the villagers and stormtroopers alike as she nudged his head with the toe of her boot, turning his face away.

“No!”

The shout was followed immediately by a blaster shot, but Kira Ren had sensed the danger before it had begun. She pivoted, her hand extended, freezing the energy bolt in midair as well as the man who shot it.

Two stormtroopers dragged the man forward into the firelight where the audience watched Kira Ren with rapt attention. When she saw her would-be assassin’s face she frowned, though no one could see it. Kira hadn’t expected Poe Dameron to be this foolish. After he had been searched for any other weapons, Poe was shoved to his knees so he was forced to look up to meet her invisible gaze. When he glanced up, he looked away immediately, perhaps discomfited by the reflection of the burning village and his own fearful expression where her eyes should be.

Kira was quiet, observing. The only sound was the crackling flames and the vibrating plasma bolt.

“Hey, do I know you?” Poe asked into the silence. 

Kira cocked her head. “The old man. He gave it to you.”

“You know, you look just like that Kira Ren person -”

“Search him. Again.”

Dameron was yanked to his feet and subjected to a more brutal pat down. 

“Nothing, sir.”

“Put him on board.”

“Yes, sir.” The troopers dragged him towards the shuttle and the other two knights converged in their wake. Kira didn’t see his fearful look back.

“Sir.” Phasma was behind her. “The villagers.”

Kira swept her gaze across the village and the hateful desert sands beyond. “Kill them all.”

She turned away, ignoring the captain as Phasma followed her orders, blaster fire piercing through the village. Kira found that she was trembling, but from what emotion she couldn’t determine. She hated it.

Something tugged at her awareness, not unlike the sensation she had felt in meditation earlier that day cycle. Curious, Kira turned her head. 

Dameron’s ship burned on the far side of the village, which now was also ablaze due to the flametroopers who stalked the dwellings. But she was arrested by the sight of a stormtrooper staring directly at her, several meters away. 

His grip on his weapon was slack, his stance unsure. That was unusual. Kira pushed her awareness towards his mind, and she found his thoughts full of fear and confusion and grief. _FN-2187._

Kira smirked, gleeful at discovering a loose cog in the machine that Hux had built. _That arrogant idiot._ She would let this lie, wait for it to bite Hux in the heel. She pulled back from the trooper’s mind at the same time that she let go of the plasma bolt that was still suspended in stasis.

Kira turned and moved towards the shuttle, not caring enough to see where the blaster shot landed, although she was pleased to sense the stormtrooper flinch at the explosion. Kira Ren departed the massacre of Tuanul, her strides purposeful, leaving flame and ash in her wake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy 2019! 
> 
> So what did you think of Kira Ren? I've been waiting for this moment since last April when I started thinking about this story... yikes. Also a little bit of Poe's POV which is new for me.
> 
> Hey, if you like it, I'd love to know - leave a comment or kudos! Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story! Next update in two weeks...


	4. Fourth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my beta, [AngstyWriter](https://angstywriterangst.tumblr.com)!
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](https://a-nerd-obsessed.tumblr.com)

Poe Dameron had always known in theory that he could get caught. 

When he’d joined up with the New Republic forces, he’d been thrilled to become a real X-wing pilot, screaming through the stars on the side of good and justice in the galaxy. But back then, it had been much more likely that he’d die because of a flight accident than in combat or the hands of the enemy. 

When he’d left the New Republic to join the Resistance, the probability of dying had increased slightly given that they were actively fighting against a malevolent force haunting the galaxy. But that’s why he’d joined – to actually make a difference and fight evil. To become like the heroes of the Rebel Alliance: Luke Skywalker, Wedge Antilles, Leia Organa... his own parents, Shara Bey and Kes Dameron. The mandatory training on how to survive as a prisoner of war had been a damper, but it hadn’t dimmed his enthusiasm or passion for the cause in the slightest. 

Besides, he was Poe Dameron. Sure, he’d gotten in a few tight spots, but he’d always managed to wiggle his way out, either with his smooth words or quick thinking. He was practically untouchable. His luck hadn’t run out yet. 

At least he’d thought so until the First Order interrogation had begun in earnest. Physical abuse was nothing new – when you had as much natural charm as Poe did, it was inevitable that some people would get jealous and try to get in a few hits. But between the electrical shocks and the dehydration, Poe wasn’t feeling so good when the interrogation droid hovered over him with a needle just millimeters from his vein. 

“Your name?” The speaker was hidden on the edges of the dark room, but he thought maybe it was male, possibly human. And he seemed pissed. He didn’t have the focus to figure out or even care. 

“Your name?” Same question, no tone or inflection. 

Poe was too weak to pull away from the needle, which would’ve been useless anyway because of the restraints holding him onto the rack. Still, he figured he might as well answer because they already knew that much after tracking him for weeks. Little, inconsequential pieces of information. That was fine, right? 

“Poe Dameron. And you are?” he attempted to jibe, but his words were slurred through swollen, bleeding lips. He gazed at the clear liquid glimmering in the syringe. 

“Tell us, Poe, where is the map?” 

_The truth. Stick to the truth._

_“_ I don’t know.” And he didn’t, not exactly. 

A tingle of electricity flitted through his body, and though it wasn’t as strong as before, Poe couldn’t help the whimper that escaped. His eyes closed as he panted, and he felt disembodied, like some part of him looking down at himself and shaking its head at such weakness. 

“Where is the map?” 

“I don’t know.” 

Poe felt a pinch in his arm, grounding him briefly, and his eyes drifted open to see the needle slide into the crook of his elbow, then the liquid being pushed into his bloodstream. “What is that?” 

No one answered his question, and after a moment they didn’t have to as the toxin seeped through his system. 

Poe spent what seemed like an eternity alternating between writhing as fire burned along his nerves and shivering as his blood froze in his veins. Just before darkness swallowed him, he had a brief revelation that this could be where he died. 

~---~ 

The sun had only been up for a few hours, and Kylo already knew he was in trouble. 

He didn’t have any water and the sand was already bouncing up enough heat so that he had started shedding layers in an attempt to cool off, wrapping his tunic over his head and neck. He kept on his long-sleeved undershirt, having known enough desert dwellers in his life to know he would be cooler with it than without. The garment was damp with sweat, but it was also the only thing keeping him from the worst sunburns of his life. Kylo cursed the genetics that had gifted him with such pale skin. It had refused to take a tan even when he spent more time planetside. 

BB-8 beeped at him from several paces ahead. 

“I’m coming, droid. Your programming needs a patience update.” 

BB-8 whistled an apology. Kylo glanced up and caught what maybe was a pitying look from BB-8, no doubt scanning his biometrics and picking up on his dehydration and fatigue, before the droid’s head swiveled forward again. Kylo draped his jacket over his head as he stomped after the astromech, which probably had a high class cooling system to keep it from overheating. The last thing he needed was pity from a droid. 

“How much further?” 

BB-8 didn’t have a map of Jakku in his databanks, but based on Kylo’s memory of the planet’s geography and BB-8's knowledge of their global location when they landed, they had determined a general course that would take them to the only functioning space port on the planet: Niima Outpost. BB-8 ran a calculation and chirped the answer. 

“That’s a long way,” Kylo despaired out loud before he could bite his tongue. So what if he was talking to a droid? It wasn’t a person and Kylo was extremely tired and thirsty. He could be allowed a few things. 

BB-8 whistled mournfully. 

“Don’t worry. We’ll make it just fine, and we’ll find Poe,” Kylo attempted to reassure the droid. Why, he didn’t know. _Stars_ , now he was lying to spare the droid’s feelings. What was this? Kylo knew Poe was very likely either dead or dying a slow painful death at the pincers of a First Order interrogation droid. 

He had seen the command shuttle descending on Tuanul as he ran into the desert after BB-8. He’d seen the massive explosion that could only have been the _Pearl_ and the column of flame that could only have been the entire village billowing into the sky as they escaped. And if Kylo ran faster because he felt that dreaded crushing sensation return, knocking the air from his lungs, it was self-preservation, not cowardice. Either way, he felt that the odds of him dying on this barren rock were fairly high at the moment. 

“Hey, droid.” 

BB-8 stopped and looked up at him slowly, rolling back and forth in place, looking as miserable and pitiful as Kylo felt. 

“Here.” Kylo let his arms drop so he could dig into his jacket pocket for the datastick. His fingers felt clumsy and thick, and his fist closed over both objects there and pulled them out. He fumbled to separate the datastick and held it out to the droid. “Take this. That way you can give it to Poe when we find him.” 

BB-8 bleeped uncertainly. 

“Come on. Take it.” 

BB-8 finally acquiesced, sliding out a small compartment to accept the datastick. Kylo was sure he was delirious, but it seemed as if the droid perked up with newfound purpose. 

“Good. Alright.” Kylo looked down at the other object, squinting through the beginnings of a headache to stare at the smoky, iridescent orb between his thumb and forefinger. His head and even his eyes throbbed. _Stars,_ everything hurt. 

BB-8 bumped his shin. 

“Sorry, Beebee. Let’s go.” 

A few hours later, it was even hotter than Kylo thought possible. He had already stopped sweating, which was definitely a bad thing. The sun was almost at its peak when they stumbled on a toppled wreck half buried in the sand. Kylo had seen the larger shipwrecks in the distance, distorted by heatwaves, but he almost missed the AT-AT until he was tripping over it. 

BB-8 squeaked in concern. 

“I’m fine, I’m fine.” Kylo struggled upright. Maybe there was shade on the other side of the wreck so he wouldn’t feel his skin burning as he died. 

But it was actually much better. The AT-AT's belly was open, the insides picked clean, but the wreck was stocked with a small supply of food and – _thank the stars_ – water, likely placed there by a scavenger in case of a sudden sandstorm. 

Kylo groaned as the tepid water slid down his throat. BB-8 chirped a warning and Kylo coughed, liquid running down his chin. 

“I know, go slow.” He used his sleeve to wipe the moisture off his face and looked around the dim interior. The air was stifling, the AT-AT acting like an oven despite the heat-resistant alloys that made up its structure. Kylo squinted and shuffled further into the corner, brushing his fingers over a series of marks scratched in the wall. _Odd._ Then the crushing feeling returned with a vengeance, and Kylo gasped, jerking away. His instincts begged him to run, but he wrestled that impulse down. 

“Hey, droid, what do you say we take this outside?” 

Kylo crawled outside where the hot breeze ghosted over his skin and clutched the waterskin to his chest. He slumped against the exterior and BB-8 rolled to a halt by his side. 

“Ah, what the hell.” Kylo wrapped an arm over the droid. “We’re in this together, anyway.” 

~---~ 

The first thing that came back to Poe was his sense of smell, and it wasn’t pleasant. The smell of blood and sweat and urine mingling together would normally have been nauseating, but there was nothing in his stomach to eject even if he had the energy to vomit. 

He was hit next by the awareness that he wasn’t alone. His eyes cracked open to see someone watching him in the dim edges of the cell. Poe groaned. 

“If I’d know I had company, I would have cleaned up,” he croaked. 

The figure stepped out the shadows, revealing the smooth mask of Kira Ren. Poe regarded her with weary eyes. 

“Are you sure I don’t know you?” Poe jibed, feigning ignorance. “You seem really familiar.” 

“I’m impressed. No one has been able to get out of you what you did with the map.” 

Poe leaned forward, repressing the wave of pain that racked his body. “You might want to rethink your technique.” 

Her head tilted and she let out a chuckle that echoed oddly through the mask into the room. 

“Still think you’re invincible, flyboy?” 

“Maybe. Yeah.” 

Her hand rose up, almost caressing his face as he glared into his reflection on her mask. He waited, unflinching, determined to spit in the invisible face of the First Order. 

Then he felt the brush of her mind against his. 

_Oh, no. Nope. Not cool._

He tried to block her out, filling his thoughts with the overwhelming determination to get her _out,_ but she barely noticed. He grunted, trying to push or pull or he didn’t know what or how but – 

He screamed his raw desperation into her face, but she invaded his memories, shredding through them till she found what she wanted. 

~---~ 

Except maybe it wasn’t what she wanted. Certainly, not what she expected. 

Kira Ren let his screams fade to silence and shoved Poe back against the rack unconscious, his head lolling back. Her hand spasmed a few times, clenching and unclenching. She growled, knowing it wouldn’t help anything to kill the impudent pilot. Even if it would piss off Hux, that lying, sneaking, conniving – 

Kira whirled, storming out of the interrogation cell. 

Hux turned to her as the door slid open with a hiss. “Well?” 

Kira stared a moment before walking past him, unable to resist the slightest telekinetic shove. 

“Ren? Ren!” 

Kira stalked through the halls of the _Finalizer_ towards the audience chamber, heedless of the various First Order personnel scattering before her. 

“Ren!” 

She sensed him reaching out to grip her arm and she whirled, dark robes twisting about her like a specter. Kira was pleased to see a flash of fear in his eyes before he mastered it. 

“Where’s the map?” he demanded, leaning over her. 

Kira lifted her invisible face to his and carefully laid a hand on his chest. He stiffened. She could see by the spots of color in his cheeks that he was furious. Well, so was she. After a moment, she took a step back and continued on her way. 

In the audience chamber, she only had to wait a few moments in the dim, smoky space before Snoke’s image flickered into existence, towering several stories above her. The blue light of the hologram lit up the massive room with an eerie haze. 

“Apprentice.” 

“Master.” 

“General.” 

“Supreme Leader.” 

Their words echoed into nothing. Kira and Hux straightened their shoulders. 

“Have you discovered Skywalker’s location?” 

“No, Supreme Leader. Ren thought it best to kill the man last known to have possession of the map in the raid on Tuanul.” 

The Supreme Leader glowered down at them. “Is this true, my apprentice?” 

“No,” she answered stiffly. “The Resistance fighter we captured procured the map.” 

Hux’s gloves squeaked as his fingers curled tighter. 

“So we have him then,” Snoke mused, the smile on his lips contorting his twisted face even more. Hux glanced at Kira, waiting. 

Kira took a step forward. “No, Supreme Leader. The map is in the possession of a bounty hunter named... Kylo.” 

“I see.” Snoke’s eyes drilled into her. 

“Well then, if it’s on Jakku, we’ll soon have it,” Hux declared. 

Snoke turned his gaze on Hux. 

“I leave that to you, General.” 

Hux turned, not bothering to conceal his smirk. Kira turned her mask slowly to watch him, regretful that he couldn’t see the utter hate and loathing in her eyes as he strode from the room. 

“Kira Ren.” 

Kira looked back up to meet the Supreme Leader’s cold eyes. 

“You are troubled, my apprentice.” 

Her tone was flat. “Kylo lives.” 

“Yes.” 

“I was unaware.” 

“You wonder why I kept this from you.” 

Kira didn’t answer, instead bowing her head. 

Snoke’s lip curled in what could be amusement. “The general did not know of the significance of that name. Hux did not knowingly keep it from you. That lies between you and me. 

“As for myself, I needed to be assured of where your loyalties lie... in the past, or in the present, with me.” Snoke paused. Kira felt the familiar caress of Snoke’s presence surrounding her mind, so she stilled. “You failed to kill him once before, I wanted to ascertain that you would not fail again. You must find the map and destroy what remains of Ben Solo.” 

Kira shivered imperceptibly. “Supreme Leader, would it not serve us better if Kylo was turned to our side?” 

The room went silent. Snoke began to chuckle. 

“You think you can turn him.” 

“I know him, Master. I can draw him to our side.” 

Snoke did not speak, instead drifting through Kira’s mind, feeling out her emotions and intentions. It seemed a lifetime before he came to a decision. 

“Yes. Yes... _iron sharpens iron_.” 

Kira could almost feel the metal the Supreme Leader spoke of, scraping over her skin. She shivered. 

“We will draw Ben Solo into the dark, my apprentice. Go, complete this final task. Prove your commitment to who you have become.” 

“With your guidance, I will not fail.” 

“We shall see.” 

Snoke’s image evaporated, leaving Kira Ren alone in an empty chamber. The tension in her shoulders lessened slightly as she collected her thoughts. After a moment, Kira inhaled sharply, turning on her heel to stride from the room. 

Her feet took her towards the detention center, the soft soles of her boots allowing her to glide through the hallways like a wraith. She needed to interrogate Poe again, to discover everything he knew about the bounty hunter, Kylo. 

~---~ 

Poe wasn’t sure if he’d died, but either way, he was in heaven. The past fifteen minutes had been the most exciting experience of his life. 

When the stormtrooper had pulled him from the cell, saying that Ren wanted to see him, he was sure it was for his execution, which honestly had been somewhat of a relief. Kira Ren had ripped whatever she wanted out of his mind – which had hurt _a lot_ , by the way – and now they were going to dump his body into space, preserved forever as a chunk of human-shaped ice. Or maybe not human-shaped, if she was feeling particularly vicious. Either way, it was better than having his mind torn to shreds again. 

But instead the stormtrooper had pulled him into an alcove, convinced him to go down to the hangar, steal a TIE fighter - which was the peppiest ship he’d ever touched in his life – and break out of a First Order _Resurgent-_ class Star Destroyer. 

Who needed glitterstim when you had real life? 

“Yes! Did you see that? Did you see that!” His new stormtrooper friend shrieked over the sound of the screaming ion engines. 

“I saw that!” Poe cheered, swerving along the underbelly of the _Finalizer_. “Hey, what’s your name?” 

“FN-2187.” 

“W-what?” Poe almost jerked his neck around to see the stormtrooper’s face, but he had to dodge another barrage from the flock of TIE fighters in pursuit. 

“FN-2187.” 

If that was what the First Order considered a name, well, they were as dull as they were evil. “Well, I ain’t using it. I’m going to call you Finn if that’s alright,” Poe decided. 

“Finn. Finn. I like it.” 

Poe could hear the smile in Finn's answer. “Poe, Poe Dameron.” 

“Nice to meet you.” 

“Nice to meet you, too.” Poe grinned. He liked this guy already – jumping head first into the fight with no regrets. 

The First Order, however, did seem to regret letting them escape. He was in the middle of convincing Finn to go back to Jakku to rescue Kylo and BB-8 when they were hit by a plasma bolt, sending them into a tailspin. He had to admit to himself that normally he’d agree with Finn that no sane person would want to go to Jakku and they should get out of the system as fast as possible, but it seemed their choice had been made for them as they careened towards the surface. 

Hopefully, escaping death twice in one day wasn’t pushing his luck too far. 

~---~ 

An officer in a dark gray uniform crossed in front of Kira Ren at a run, almost smashing into the wall when he realized whom he had just cut off. 

“Sorry, sir, sorry!” he exclaimed, dashing off in the direction of the bridge. Kira felt the deck vibrate subtly under her feet. Kira huffed. Whatever Hux was doing right now, she had no doubt that he was ruining it thoroughly. 

“Sir, they’ve taken out the turbolasers,” a lieutenant was saying to Hux, both men leaning over a console on the bridge as Kira slipped up behind them. Phasma acknowledged her with a slight tilt of her chrome helmet. 

“Use the ventral cannons,” Hux ordered. 

“Yes, sir. Bringing them online.” 

“General,” Kira interrupted, disappointed when Hux didn’t startle. Next time, then. “Is it the Resistance pilot?” 

Hux faced her reluctantly, his expression stretched into a grimace. “Yes, and he had help... from one of our own.” 

Kira turned away, tamping down her fury, trying to channel it. She lifted her chin when she saw Silyana Ren, her face bare, and Ymiré Ren, masked as always, glide up to join them. 

“We’re checking our registers now to identify which stormtrooper it was,” Hux assured his audience, his nostrils flaring slightly when he noticed the two dark-clad females behind Kira. 

“FN-2187.” Kira turned back. “The stormtrooper from the village.” 

Just as she spoke, FN-2187's file flickered onto the holoscreen. Kira gritted her teeth even as she took in every inch of the trooper’s face. When she’d let him go, she had meant for the confused stormtrooper to throw a wrench in Hux's plans, not her own. 

“FN-2187 reported to my division, was evaluated and sent to reconditioning,” Phasma stated. Hux looked thoroughly disgruntled even as Kira noted an undercurrent of amusement emanating from Phasma and repressed a smile of her own. It was always satisfying when the number of commanding females outnumbered the general, although that’s where her comradery with the captain ended. 

“No prior signs of nonconformity?” Hux ground out. 

“This was his first offense,” Phasma replied. 

“Sir, they’ve been hit!” the chief petty officer exclaimed. 

Hux whirled back to the displays eagerly. “Destroyed?” 

“Disabled. Their trajectory will have them crashing in the Goazon badlands.” 

“Send a squad to search the wreckage. Set up a planetary blockade. It won’t take long to find them.” Hux turned and began to march away to the viewports at the fore of the bridge. “Captain, to me.” 

Phasma nodded to the Knights standing silently before following Hux. 

“Master?” Ymiré prodded when Kira didn’t move. 

“Kira,” Silyana said, gripping her arm. 

Kira rotated slowly to face them. 

“Are we going to join the search?” Ymiré demanded. Silyana shot the other woman a look, but Ymiré just stared back through the ridged mask of her helmet, settling hands over the holsters of her twin blasters at her hips. 

“No,” Kira bit out after a moment. 

“No? You’re going to let that idiot run this operation?” 

“I agree that Hux is an idiot,” Silyana interjected, “but he can’t really mess this up with a planetary blockade and one settlement to search.” 

“But -” 

“Also,” Silyana continued, stepping closer to the shorter Knight. “Kira Ren has said no.” 

Ymiré dropped her hands and shifted so she was directly facing Kira, who raised her chin. “Yes, master.” 

Ymiré left the bridge and Silyana followed after quirking a conspiratory eyebrow at Kira, who still made no response. 

Kira waited until she was alone in the shadows of the corner of the bridge. She shuddered. She would rather die than touch foot to the sands of Jakku again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now you may be thinking to yourself, "We're almost 20k in, but this is a Reylo fic, right? This is tagged correctly, right?"
> 
> You are right! It _is_ a Reylo fic, and trust me, the Reylo is coming! Their reunion will be a beautiful, disastrous, wonderful mess you would expect. It'll just take a few more updates to get there :)
> 
> Thanks for reading, and hey, I'd love it if you'd leave a kudos or comment to let me know what you think. Update in two weeks!


	5. Fifth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my all-star beta, [AngstyWriter](https://angstywriterangst.tumblr.com)!
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](https://a-nerd-obsessed.tumblr.com)

The next day, Kylo trudged into Niima Outpost with BB-8 on his heels, his hood pulled up over his head. Thankfully, no one seemed to be paying him much mind as he wandered through the dingy marketplace, grateful for the shade under the canopies even though it was only an hour past dawn. 

More importantly, it didn’t seem like the First Order had arrived. Maybe that meant that Dameron was still alive. 

Not that Kylo gave two credits what happened to him. Only a few days ago, Kylo had been free, unentangled, with his own ship to take him wherever he wanted - which was as far away from the Resistance and the First Order as possible - and a notorious reputation that kept the annoying people away and the good jobs coming. 

Now he was stranded on Jakku, of all places, with just the clothes on his back and the weapons on his belt and his emergency stash of credits. Oh, yes, and a droid carrying the map to Luke Skywalker. 

If Kira Ren hadn’t killed Dameron, Kylo would finish the pilot himself. 

That was one thing Kylo was confident about - that it had been Kira Ren on that command shuttle. Although there were at least seven confirmed Knights of Ren, rumor had it that Kira Ren had a special vendetta against the Jedi. Rumors about the Knights abounded of course, but Kylo avoided them at all cost, much like personal interactions. Something about the emergence of the Knights and the whispers about their master told him to keep his distance, one of those damn instincts Dameron had talked about. 

Kylo broke out of his reverie to find himself at Niima Outpost’s space port, although space port was a generous term. A few ships sat on the sands, looking not much different than the wrecks in the Graveyard off in the distance. Most of them looked like they’d been sitting there baking under the hot sun for years, covered with ragged tarps that did little to block the harsh sunlight. 

Kylo sauntered forward, trying to search out any owners or pilots who may be planning to leave soon, but the port was just as dead as the market early in the morning. 

“Hey you there!” 

Kylo turned to see who had addressed him and saw two locals glaring at him with crossed arms, their species and gender indeterminable under their desert robes and head coverings. 

“Whatcha doing, bud?” 

“You own one of these?” Kylo asked, trying to pretend like he hadn’t just been contemplating stealing the quadjumper in the far corner. 

“Nah. These all belong to Plutt here.” 

“He flying out any time soon?” 

The two looked at each other and guffawed. “Nah, he ain’t leaving any time soon, even if there wasn’t a blockade up there.” One of them pointed helpfully to the pale sky, where Kylo could just make out the even paler silhouette of a Star Destroyer in orbit. 

BB-8 chirped questioningly. 

“Quiet, ball,” Kylo said, kicking the droid behind his legs. 

“Who’re you, anyway?” The other one asked, suspiciously, squinting to see under Kylo’s hood. The other stared at BB-8, who peered out from behind his legs. Kylo sighed. Normally when someone started asking questions, he’d take them to the nearest alleyway and be done with it. But Niima Outpost didn’t have anything like an alley because it was made up almost entirely of open tents, which was unfortunate. 

Kylo palmed a handful of credits. “No one,” he stated, walking towards the two thugs and revealing the money in his hand. “And I’d like to keep it that way.” 

Jakku’s economy must be as nonexistent as he’d hoped based on the way their eyes widened at the paltry sum. 

“Sounds fine by me,” the first bruiser said, trying to casually accept his half of the bribe. Kylo avoided coming in contact with their fingers even though the thug was wearing gloves, as was Kylo. Neither of them seemed like the type to value personal hygiene. 

“Nice doing business with ya,” the second thug grinned. Still, they waited and watched as Kylo walked away, BB-8 scurrying after. It seemed he’d be finding another way off this dirtball. 

~---~ 

It took several hours of fruitless lurking before something finally changed. At first, he assumed it was an accident when BB-8 ran into his legs. 

“Damn it, droid,” Kylo hissed, irrationally angry about the bruise he now anticipated on his shin. 

BB-8 squealed at him, swiveling his head to stare into the market, then back at Kylo. 

“Say what?” Kylo squinted to see what BB-8 was looking at. At first, he didn’t see anything, so he crouched down to the droid’s height, putting a hand out to catch his balance. “Where?” 

BB-8 almost shrieked at him, wobbling with excitement. 

“Him?” Kylo got to his feet, staring at the dark-skinned man dressed all in tight black garments except for a leather flight jacket. The man was leaning against a canopy support several meters away, gasping. He must have heard BB-8, though, because he looked up with – recognition? 

_Kriff_ _._

Kylo stood and stalked towards the man, who spooked, dashing off through the market. Kylo moved to intercept him, which wasn’t hard since the man had terrible instincts. Kylo slammed into him, pinning him to the sands. The man squeaked. 

“Who are you?” Kylo growled. 

The man spluttered until BB-8 rolled up and shocked him in the leg. Both Kylo and his prisoner looked at the droid in surprise. 

“Ow! Hey!” the man exclaimed. 

Returning his attention to his prisoner, Kylo demanded, “Where’d you get this jacket?” 

“Hey! Stop it!” The man shouted when BB-8 shocked him again for emphasis. Kylo was beginning to see why Dameron kept the fiesty little droid around. 

“The jacket. The droid says you stole it from Dameron.” 

“Dameron? Poe Dameron?” the man asked. He looked at BB-8 and back to Kylo. “Yeah, this jacket belonged to Poe Dameron. He – he was captured by the First Order. I helped him escape but our ship crashed.” He glanced away, sagging back into the sand. “He didn’t make it.” 

BB-8 stopped his aggressive wobbling, head slumping, and rolled away morosely. Kylo watched him go before shaking the man under him. 

“Who are you?” 

“My name’s FN – my name’s Finn.” 

“Not your name, idiot,” Kylo hissed in his face. “Who are you with?” 

“Oh, uh, the Resistance?” 

Kylo shook him again. “Try again.” 

“No one!” 

Kylo reached down and pulled a vibroblade from the sheath in his boot. “Last chance.” 

“No, really! I was First Order, but I left with Poe so I’m not anymore, alright? Please, don’t kill me.” 

“You deserted? What are you, some kind of officer?” 

“No. I’m a stormtrooper. I mean, I was. I don’t know!” 

The hubbub of the market around them continued uninterrupted. Apparently, the locals had a policy of minding their own business. Kylo stared at the man for a moment before pushing up to stand over him. Finn scrambled around so he was sitting on the ground. 

“Why’d you leave?” Kylo demanded. “Why would you help Poe?” 

Finn swallowed, rubbing his thigh where BB-8 had shocked him. He glanced up at Kylo towering above him, then sighed. “I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to get out.” 

Kylo regarded him a moment before he smirked. “And you needed a pilot.” 

“I needed a pilot.” 

“Well, you’re out. Congratulations.” Kylo turned and discretely began to search for BB-8. _Where has that droid gotten to?_

Now that Dameron was officially gone, he’d have to figure out what to do with the droid and the map as quickly as possible so he could get back to his life. 

“Wait!” Finn cried. “Where are you going?” 

“If I knew, I still wouldn’t tell you,” Kylo muttered. 

“Where’s the droid?” 

Kylo whirled to find Finn right on his heels, the man’s eyes confused and desperate. “None of your concern.” 

“But -” 

Kylo assumed that Finn was at a loss for words when he went still and silent, but then Kylo heard it too. The low roar of twin ion engines quickly rising into a scream. 

“Beebee-Ate!” Kylo shouted, spinning around to try and locate the errant droid. His sight locked on the pair of stormtroopers that had just appeared, already advancing on him and Finn. Several meters behind them, he saw the two thugs from earlier transferring a sack over to another set of troopers, a sack that let out a shrill squeal of outrage. 

“Why?” Kylo grumbled, but he pulled out his blaster and promptly placed two smoking craters in the chest plates of the soldiers that had been coming towards him. 

“What the hell!” Finn squeaked behind him. 

The other two troopers immediately raised their own weapons and began to shoot, one of them shouting into his comm. The two thugs vanished as the outpost broke out into chaos, leaving BB-8 to wriggle out of the sack. 

“Run, Beebee! To the shipyard!” Kylo ordered over the barrage of blasterfire. He hoped BB-8 had heard and understood as he crouched behind a market stall, ignoring Finn when he dived in with him. The flimsy material of the stall wasn’t enough to shield them, however, and it soon splintered under the barrage. 

“We gotta go!” Finn cried. Kylo didn’t bother to answer as he dashed away, throwing a few shots over his shoulder that he was sure widely missed their targets. He was only mildly annoyed when he noticed Finn keeping pace with him, hurdling scattered belongings and dodging canopy supports as the inhabitants of Niima Outpost panicked. 

The TIE fighters shrieked across the pale blue sky, skimming over the settlement. Kylo tracked them with his eyes as they darted out over the desert and circled back. He knew they wouldn’t last long when the fighters began to strafe the outpost. 

“They’re gonna hit us!” Finn warned between gasping breaths. 

“Shut up!” 

They broke out from under the maze of canopies and Kylo turned back for just a moment to take a few well-placed shots at the supports, bringing down part of the rambling structure over the market. He could hear the stormtroopers shouting to each other, probably calling more backup. It didn’t matter. He whipped back around and nearly crashed into Finn. 

“Get out of my way!” 

“What are we doing? They’ll blow us to pieces out in the open.” 

“ _I_ am stealing a ship to finally get off this rock. Now, move!” Kylo started to sprint again, not even bothering to check if Finn was following because of course he was. _What is it about these pathetic needy types that find me and cling on like_ _mynocks_ _?_

The TIE fighters had swung around and had begun to fire, creating explosions of smoke and sand that pocked the ground. Kylo heard a squeal and saw BB-8 swerving to meet their trajectory. Kylo shielded his head with the other as an explosion shook the ground too close for comfort, but he was thrown forward, tumbling across the sand. 

It must have only been a few seconds that he blacked out because the TIE fighters were just streaking overhead when his eyes blinked open. 

“Hey, are you okay?” Finn was leaning over him, a hand on his shoulder as if he’d been shaking him. 

Kylo groaned. “Get off me.” He pushed himself up to a sitting position. 

Finn was on his knees, wide eyes darting around nervously. BB-8 bumped into his knee, repeating what Finn had asked. 

“I’m fine.” 

“Over there!” a stormtrooper shouted. Kylo rose to his feet and shook his head a few times as Finn and BB-8 moved back. A plasma bolt sizzled by, causing them to duck. 

“Go!” Kylo ordered, gesturing to the far side of the shipyard. “The quadjumper!” 

BB-8 accelerated with Kylo and Finn right behind just as the TIE fighters screamed overhead on their second run, firing incessantly. The lead ship took a shot that landed squarely on the starcraft they had been running towards and it went up in a blaze of fire and heat. 

Kylo skidded to a halt, cursing. “No!” 

“What about this one?” Finn yelled, gesturing to a sleek yacht that had clearly been grounded for years, mostly covered up with tarps. 

“Go!” Kylo answered, knowing they only had precious seconds before the TIE fighters came around for another run. He dashed up the open ramp, into the once-luxurious lounge, and froze. 

BB-8 nearly bowled him over, followed by Finn who crashed into his back. 

“Man, we gotta go!” 

BB-8 had already plugged himself into the ship’s computer, turning the power online and starting the engines that hummed to life with an all-too-familiar sound. The shriek of the TIE fighters outside were coming closer. 

“Can you fly this thing?” Finn asked in a desperate tone, breaking Kylo from his trance. 

Kylo shoved him towards the aft. “Get to the gunner’s position.” Finn obeyed without hesitation and Kylo entered the cockpit. 

There was no doubt now. The ship that he had stumbled aboard was the _Nowhere,_ formerly his mother’s diplomatic yacht, the _Mirrorbright_ _,_ that had somehow ended up in a rundown spaceport on a backwater planet in the Outer Rim. 

But he didn’t have time to contemplate the cosmic irony. Due to his experience and familiarity with the ship, it took them no time at all to lift off the ground, attracting the fire of both the ground troops that were collecting in the shipyard and the TIE fighters swooping around to come at them. 

BB-8 chirped, engaging the shields to protect them from getting taken down before they even got off. Finn’s exclamations came over the comm, but Kylo tuned him out as he maneuvered the _Nowhere_ to face the Graveyard. Below them, Niima Outpost’s inhabitants were running away as stormtroopers pushed through to the shipyard. All except one Crolute who ran towards the ship, heedless of the First Order soldiers closing in, shaking his fist at the cockpit of the _Nowhere_. Kylo’s lip curled with dry humor, pinning him as the probable owner. Well, Kylo had been planning to borrow a ship one way or another, just not this quickly or under fire. 

Kylo pushed the _Nowhere_ forward, blasting into the sky, two TIEs on his tail. 

“Alright, Finn, we’ve got to lose these guys so I can set us up for the jump to hyperspace, alright?” Kylo instructed, hoping that the universe had at least sent him a stormtrooper who could shoot a laser cannon half-way decently. Kylo pulled up, intending to take the fight skyward. 

“Whoa, whoa, stay low!” Finn shouted. 

“What?” 

“Stay low! It confuses their tracking.” 

Miraculously, the dogfight didn’t last long. Between Kylo’s piloting ability and Finn’s gunner skills, they turn the two First Order fighters into fireballs before they even reach the wreck of the Super Star Destroyer. 

Finn let out an ecstatic whoop as his last shot hit home. Kylo flinched at Finn's shout and flipped the switch to shut off the intraship comm system for a bit of silence. He leaned over the console, keeping their path close to the ground, skimming over the planet’s surface until they put a significance distance between themselves and whatever was left of Niima Outpost. 

Eventually Finn must have figured out that Kylo couldn’t hear him, so he made his way up to the fore of the ship. 

“That was amazing!” Finn burst out excitedly. “You were amazing! I can’t believe we’re alive!” 

Kylo made no response. 

“Hey, so where are we headed?” Finn asked, still slightly out of breath. 

“Off Jakku.” 

“Thank the stars,” Finn sighed, slumping into the copilot’s seat. BB-8 rolled into the cockpit as Kylo began to push the _Nowhere_ into an ascent. 

“So.” Finn cleared his throat. “What’s your name?” 

Kylo turned to evaluate the ex-trooper, who fidgeted but held his eyes. “Kylo.” He turned away. 

“Kylo?” Finn repeated, his brow wrinkling. “Whoa, like the mercenary?” 

“No, the bounty hunter,” Kylo corrected with a growl. He didn’t fight others people’s fights for them, no matter how much they offered to pay. 

“Well, uh, nice to meet you, I guess.” 

“We’re not friends,” Kylo declared with finality. “I don’t know what ideas you’ve gotten in your head, but this is not the start of something. You can keep your niceties to yourself.” 

“Well, thanks for letting me save your life,” Finn snipped in exasperation. 

“What?” Kylo turned a glare on him. 

“Wow, okay, fine.” Finn looked away, seeming disappointed. “Thanks at least for letting me come along,” Finn muttered. The sky faded from blue to black, Jakku drifting away beneath them. 

“You never asked to come with me,” Kylo replied. “I could still throw you out of the air lock.” 

“Please don’t,” Finn begged fearfully, gripping his seat as if Kylo was about to rip him away from it and drag him out of the cockpit. “If you’re a bounty hunter, shouldn’t you keep me alive to turn me in?” 

"Not if I want to turn in myself while I’m at it,” Kylo admitted. Finn seemed to relax at that. Kylo frowned. This kid was entirely too trusting. “What’s your plan?” 

Finn didn’t answer right away and Kylo looked over at him. Finn’s mouth was partially open as he stared out of the viewport into the depths of space. “I need to get away from the First Order, wherever that is,” Finn decided finally. 

At least they had that in common. Kylo turned away, relieved to note they couldn’t see the _Finalizer_ from where this side of the planet, and there were no patrols on their scanner either. Kylo began to enter coordinates for the first system that popped into his head, not really caring as long as it was as far away from the First Order as possible. 

Then BB-8 chirped a tremulous question, causing Finn and Kylo to turn and look at the droid, which Kylo realized he had momentarily forgotten about. BB-8 seemed to droop now, his orange-and-white exterior dusty and scratched, his domed head tilted sadly to the ground. 

“Oh,” Kylo muttered. He looked up and met Finn’s eyes. Finn unconsciously tugged the jacket he was wearing closer. BB-8 began to roll away mournfully. 

“Droid, wait,” Finn called. 

“It’s Beebee-Ate,” Kylo corrected. 

“Hey, Beebee-Ate.” Finn jumped up. BB-8 spun his monoculus around to stare up at the ex-trooper. “We’ll help you, alright? We’ll make sure you get back to the Resistance.” 

“We?” Kylo questioned. “I told you we’re not friends.” 

“But you were friends with Poe – that's what he said, so. He was coming back to get you and Beebee-Ate.” 

Kylo was surprised even though he knew he shouldn’t be. Dameron was quick to make friends, even if in this case it wasn’t mutual. Even so, he clenched his jaw. Finn had just made it that much harder to ditch and run. 

“Fine. I’ll drop you both with someone who can get you to the Resistance. And then I’m out.” 

Finn looked upset, but he managed a nod. “Deal.” 

Kylo returned to the console and input the new coordinates. 

“Where are we headed?” Finn asked as the _Nowhere_ made the jump to hyperspace. 

Kylo grunted. “Nar Shaddaa.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovely readers!
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading and leaving kudos and comments! I try to tell myself that I'm writing this story for my own enjoyment, but it makes me so happy when I see that others are getting something out of it too :)
> 
> On that note, please let me know what you think! I love engaging with my readers!
> 
> Update in two weeks... until next time!


	6. Sixth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my beta, [AngstyWriter](https://angstywriterangst.tumblr.com), who very correctly pointed out that Finn has a spine
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](https://a-nerd-obsessed.tumblr.com)

_Fzzsht._

The lightsaber sliced through the last remote, destroying it so that it fell to the floor with a clatter of smoking parts. Kira Ren held her form for a moment, letting the sweat drip from her temples and nose. She straightened, spinning the saber in her hand to a better grip and paced, kicking the shattered remote droids out of her way as she swung her arms. The plasma beam in her hand sputtered angrily, almost as if reacting to her mood.

She could fix it, stabilize the crystal so that it didn’t spark so badly. But she liked it that way, pushing this crystal just to the edge of being overloaded, but knowing it wouldn't. Kira was very thorough in its construction – it may have seemed ready to explode at any moment, but it was actually carefully controlled. Not unlike herself.

The doors to the training room slid open and Ymiré and Dorrit Ren strolled in, removing their masks as they spotted her, having already sensed her presence. 

“Master,” they said together. Kira acknowledged them by disengaging her lightsaber.

“Would you like us to join you?” Ymiré asked, eyeing the wreckage littering the room. “Seems you might be in need of a challenge.”

“Two on one seems an even match,” Dorrit added in his deep voice, setting his mask on a ledge near the entrance and pulling his beskar broadsword free from the sheath on his back. Although his tone was hinting sarcasm, all three knew it would be just that. Individually, both Knights had been forced to yield to their master in under a minute on several occasions.

“Not now,” Kira said. She began to redress, pulling on her thin armor over the black sleeveless undershirt, then covering it with a tight tunic that covered her from throat to wrist, belting it swiftly. She walked towards her Knights in a few quick strides as she tugged on her gloves. Ymiré stood waiting and handed her the smooth, polished mask that the galaxy knew as Kira Ren.

“Stay apprised of the operations on Jakku.” Kira’s voice was now warped by the mask’s vocoder, but the bare-faced Knights just nodded. “We may need to move swiftly.”

Kira Ren strode from the training room, leaving the Knights to do as they wished. Normally she would be eager to engage with them, to test them and herself until they were all sweating and panting with fatigue. But today, she did not trust herself. She had seen how they had tensed at her approach and knew they could feel it too.

She was furious. She had been a fool. She had been blind to the truth.

Kira arrived at the entrance to her quarters and stormed through the door which opened and shut almost silently. Approaching the databank terminal set along the inner wall of her living space, she ignored the fragrant meal that had been set out for her on the dark wooden table by a service droid. A few quick commands, and she pulled up the First Order’s high-level intelligence database. Kira used Hux’s login because she knew it would save her from having to slice through some firewalls he had set in place, as well as having the added benefit of irritating him to no end. 

The record for Poe Dameron was extensive. Besides having information about his recent chase and capture, it covered his service with the Resistance and the Republic and a brief family history showing his roots with the original Rebel Alliance. Kira was intrigued to find that a First Order agent had been tailing Poe and his squadron’s activities for some time before the _Finalizer’s_ crew had become involved.

FN-2187's record was unremarkable in any way that she would have anticipated due to the fact that he had excelled in the Stormtrooper program. Just as Phasma had said, FN-2187 had never showed signs of nonconformity before the events of the previous day. Actually, he seemed to have received high reviews from both the former Captain Cardinal and then Phasma after she had taken over the administration of the program at Hux’s behest. 

The record for the bounty hunter Kylo was infuriatingly spare. It seemed that he had done an excellent job of staying out of the way of the First Order, even avoiding interactions with their less reputable allies that were occasionally contracted to do more specialized tasks. Not even a grainy image was attached so she could see his face. But there was no doubt, the Supreme Leader had confirmed it. Her throat felt as though it was swelling shut; she couldn’t breathe.

Kira pushed away from the terminal and stalked to the table, picking up the tray of cold, congealed foodstuff, and made to hurl it at the holoscreen. She halted, though, unable to bring herself to waste the nourishment even in her fury, the twist in her gut holding her back. 

_Prove your commitment to who you have become._

_I am become more._

The tray dropped onto the table from nerveless fingers, the rich stew spattering across the table. Trembling, Kira's hands curled into fists. She left the living space and moved to the meditation chamber.

Kira settled on a low stool in the small space. The lights dimmed as the door slid shut, sealing her in the dark. She closed her eyes, letting her breath even and slow. 

After long minutes, she lifted her head, resting her gaze on the pedestal before her, on which rested the shattered remains of a pyramidal holocron. It was thoroughly ruined, a twisted metal frame clinging to jagged shards of thick crimson glass. There was no way left to discover the knowledge of the Dark Side that once resided inside, but it still sparked with Dark energy, serrated edges thirsty for blood. She had found it, buried under sand and rock, soon after her second awakening in the Dark, and brought it with her to submit herself to Snoke.

“Forgive me,” she whispered to the shards. “I feel it again, the pull to the Light. The Supreme Leader senses it.”

Nothing answered; she was speaking into the void.

“Show me again the power of the darkness. Nothing will keep me from my blood. I will find them, I swear it.”

Kira Ren stood, rising with the power of a thunderhead surging into the atmosphere, and swept from the chamber, renewed.

~---~

They dropped out of hyperspace above the ecumenopolis of Nar Shaddaa, the grid of lights that covered the nightside of the moon clearly visible.

“I know I said I wanted to get away from the First Order,” Finn said nervously, “but I meant like literally any part of the Outer Rim besides Hutt space.”

“We’re fine,” Kylo dismissed. “Just keep quiet.”

“You’re going to get us killed,” Finn grumbled.

“What exactly were you planning on doing once you got away from the First Order?”

Finn’s eyes were locked on the planet before them through the viewport. “Shipping? Farming?”

Kylo snorted. “You’re a soldier. Sooner or later you would have ended up in some place like this.”

Finn grimaced. “Let’s just get out of here as soon as we can.”

“We’re safer here than just about anywhere else in the galaxy. You can always trust dishonest people to be dishonest. It’s the honest ones you have to look out for.”

Finn’s frown didn’t change. “If you say so.”

Kylo didn’t bother replying, instead focusing on the descent to Nar Shaddaa. 

He hadn’t had time to mourn the loss of the _Pearl_ yet, but now Kylo was desperately wishing he had his old ship. The _Nowhere_ was much less inconspicuous than he would have liked. Its outline screamed _custom luxury yacht,_ but at least the wear and abuse that it had sustained over the years made it comparable to the other dingy vessels that made up most of the traffic streaming to and from the surface.

The space port he docked the _Nowhere_ in was small and discrete, tucked in a quiet district of low-class shipyards. Once the yacht was settled down, the engines went offline with a tired groan. Kylo strode out of the cockpit to the lounge with Finn at his shoulder.

BB-8 was waiting for them, poised as if to flee, even before he saw the scowl on Kylo’s face. “You’ll have to come with us, Beebee-Ate.”

“You know they’re looking for him, right?”

“Yes, which is why unfortunately we can’t leave him behind to be discovered.”

BB-8 trailed excitedly behind them as they disembarked and Kylo bribed the Weequay minding the docks to keep them off the syndicates’ registers. 

“Stay close and keep your head down,” Kylo ordered in a surreptitious voice as they moved out into the street. 

“You’re not keeping your head down,” Finn accused as he avoided the grasping hand of a beggar or pickpocket – Finn couldn’t tell.

“That’s because I’m in charge,” Kylo said. “Now shut up.”

Nar Shaddaa – the Smuggler’s Moon – was alive with all shades of scum and villainy, and Finn fit in surprisingly well, his assured stride parting the crowds as his eyes scanned the streets, calculating and intelligent. Still, walking beside him, Kylo noticed Finn’s uneasiness in the tension of his muscles, which grated on Kylo’s nerves. After a half hour of winding through the urban maze, Kylo yanked Finn into an alleyway and shoved him against the wall.

“Take this.” He shoved a small blaster pistol into Finn’s hand. “You’re a soldier. Act like one.”

Finn took the weapon, his body visibly relaxing as he examined it with methodical fingers before attaching it to his belt, balancing himself. Beyond them, BB-8 explored the alleyway, bumping into junk and refuse cluttering the space. 

“Alright. Can you do this now?” Kylo asked, ignoring the droid’s behavior.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.”

Kylo regarded him skeptically, but let him go. “Let’s move.”

A few levels down and a couple streets over, Kylo led them into small doorway that forced him to hunch and push his way past the loiterers crowding outside. Finn and BB-8 crowded behind him. The space was large but with a low hanging ceiling, the lights muted by the smoke from greasy food and the breath of spice users.

“Are you sure your contact’s here?” Finn asked in a loud whisper. 

“Yes.”

“Where?”

“We’ll find her.”

“Hey.” A burly bouncer employed by the establishment according to his name tag stood in front of them. “We don’t serve their kind here,” he said, glaring at BB-8.

Kylo scowled, but slipped yet another silencing fee towards him. He was going to go broke if this kept up. “That’s alright. He’s not here, anyway.”

The bouncer's expression didn’t shift but he accepted the payment. “Find yourself a seat.”

Kylo jerked his head as he left. 

“Okay, what -”

“Over there,” Kylo interrupted Finn, “but you stay here with the droid until I say.”

“But -”

“Stay,” Kylo growled, not in the mood for discussion.

“Okay, okay,” Finn grumped. Kylo ignored him as Finn stalked to a table in a corner, sitting so that BB-8 was shielded behind his legs from most of the room. Instead, Kylo focused on the pale-skinned Zabrak standing alone at the bar, making his way towards her around the edges of the seating area.

“Kylo.” She didn’t look at him, instead staring at the untouched drink in front of her. Now that he was closer, he could see the wrinkles around her eyes and mouth that had been overridden from a distance by the dangerous aura she projected.

“Emari.”

“It’s been a few years.”

“Where’s the crew?”

“Around,” she answered, picking up the tiny glass of alcohol and gesturing.

“I thought maybe you’d given up on that.”

“I’ve gotten used to a crew.” Her eyebrows creased together. “Maybe a little dependent.”

The bartender came over to them but Kylo waved them away. 

“Why?” she asked. “Are you finally accepting my offer?”

“No.”

“Good. I wouldn’t take you on. Especially not with that droid over there.”

She didn’t look, but Kylo didn’t stop the reflexive glance over his shoulder towards BB-8 and Finn, both staring at him from the shadowy corner.

“You’re a little too hot for my taste, right now. And I’m a bounty hunter. I should be excited by hot.”

Kylo tamped down the sliver of panic in his stomach. He knew it was risky coming here and meeting with her, but he trusted that her distrust of the First Order would be greater than her desire to collect. 

“So you don’t want that reward?”

Emari eyed him. “Are you asking me to turn you into the First Order?”

“No,” he replied. “The Resistance must be looking for the droid too.”

She smirked. “Let’s sit down.”

Kylo followed her over to an empty table nearby, positioned so that she could have a good view of the room. Grudgingly, he sat across the table. Facing her, Kylo couldn’t see Finn or BB-8, but he figured if someone tried to make off with them, Emari would be just about as interested in stopping them as he was. 

“My connection to the Resistance has been asking about the droid. In fact, he’s been asking about you too. There’s a lot of chatter going around.”

“Are we secure?”

Emari jerked her chin. “Here you’re fine. My crew’s got this place tight.”

“How do we get in contact with your man?”

“He’s coming to us.”

Kylo was both impressed and relieved that the Resistance’s liaison was already on his way. The sooner this was over, the better. But still, it seemed odd that he was coming to them.

“They must be desperate.”

“I think he is. He really wanted to see you.”

Kylo stiffened. “Me?”

Her eyes glinted. “Both of them, actually. I told them it’d be smarter to wait, but he didn’t listen.” 

“Who? Who’s coming?” Kylo demanded.

“Han Solo.”

Kylo abruptly stood up, nearly knocking the table into Emari’s lap.

“Sit down, boy,” Emari said, firmly training a blaster on him. “I was kicking Imperial ass before you were born, so don’t even think about trying to leave.”

Kylo fumed. He knew he could pull his own weapon before she could shoot, but that would just get them both killed. And unfortunately some sentimental part of him really didn’t want to take on the old Zabrak. Slowly he eased himself back down onto the seat. 

“Good choice,” she approved. 

“Why him?” Kylo said, trying and failing not to sound like a petulant child in his own ears. 

“You forget who I am? I was with Han Solo during the liberation of Kashyyyk. We go far back. Farther back than me and you. And you turned me down.”

Kylo let out a breath in a hiss. 

“It’s been too long since you’ve run with a crew. Although,” she finally glanced over his shoulder, “it looks like a crew has found you. Tell your friends to join us.”

Kylo looked back but Finn already making their way over, appearing ready to fight. BB-8, too, looked intent on coming to his defense, his head tilted forward as he barreled through the bar. Apparently, they thought to protect him, which Kylo didn’t know what to do with. 

“Everything okay?” Finn asked, taking a firm stance beside the table.

“This is Jas Emari,” Kylo answered. He gestured to each of his companions. “Finn and BB-8."

Emari nodded. “Have a seat. It won’t be much longer.”

“Longer till what?” Finn asked, looking to Kylo and then back, clearly still ready to engage if needed.

“Till we get this droid away to the Resistance.”

~---~

Their table sat in uncomfortable silence. Even BB-8 was quiet, which was something Kylo realized he didn't want until now. 

Jas Emari sat across from them, finally taking small sips of her drink, her eyes scanning the bar as she ignored them. Finn fidgeted, probably wishing for some kind of action or direction – just sitting didn’t seem like his preferred activity. 

Kylo was sweating. He hated it. In his many projections of how this situation could have fallen out, the involvement of Han Solo hadn’t factored into any of them. 

Kylo knew when he had entered the room, felt his muscles seizing up.

“Hey, kid.”

Kylo met his father’s eyes. “Han.”

“Heard you could use some help.”

Kylo felt flushed and he gritted his teeth, but he didn’t answer. Han’s eyes skittered around the group at the table.

“Hey, Jas,” he said. “Thanks for the call.”

She snorted. “This isn’t my problem. I’m just passing it on to the proper owner.”

“If you didn’t want to deal with me, you could’ve just said so,” Kylo interjected.

Emari stood up, her arms crossing. “We both know you wouldn’t have gone to Leia yourself, so someone had to get you there.” She nodded at Han. “Thanks for coming so quickly.”

“Sure,” Han replied. “See you around.”

“Don’t count on it.” She sighed. “We’re both too old to be making promises like that.”

Emari left, shooting Kylo a warning in her eyes. Kylo scowled after her. 

“So,” Han started, then cleared his throat. “We should probably get going.” 

Kylo agreed, shoving Finn and BB-8 towards the door as he stood. He barreled through the bar to the street, not bothering to see if the rest were following. 

“Ben!”

Kylo halted when Han called out to him, then slowly turned back. His father came closer. Finn and BB-8 waited just outside the bar’s entrance, wearing matching bewildered expressions.

“Are you all right?” Han asked, then winced. 

“Fine. How are you?” Kylo responded drily. 

Han pressed his lips together. “I’m sorry. Forget that. I know you didn’t want to see me, but Jas told me about you and the droid, and – and I wanted to see you.”

“Well, good job, you’ve done that. Now you can take the droid to Leia.”

“See, that’s the thing.” Han rubbed the back of his neck. “I haven’t really been in touch with your mother recently.”

Kylo stared. “You don’t know where she is?”

Han huffed. “Well, I mean, I know where she is – she's leading the damn Resistance. But no, I don’t know _where_ she is.”

Kylo scoffed. “Finn, Beebee, we’re leaving,” he called.

“What?” Finn said, coming closer. “I thought he was your contact with the Resistance.”

“Apparently I don’t have a contact with the Resistance,” Kylo said bitterly. 

“Who’s this guy?” Han asked Kylo, as if they were on speaking terms. When he didn’t answer, Han turned to Finn. “Who’re you?”

Finn seemed gratified for finally being addressed instead of shoved in a corner. He leaned forward. “Finn. I’m helping Kylo-” Kylo scoffed “-get Beebee to the Resistance.”

“Why do you need a contact with the Resistance if you have a Resistance guy?” Han said, frowning.

“He’s not Resistance.”

“Huh?”

“I was First Order,” Finn explained. 

“Deserter?”

Finn blushed. “Yeah.”

“Huh. That’s kind of a big deal.”

“I’m sorry, who are you?” Finn deflected.

“Solo!” someone shouted in accented Basic.

Both Kylo and Han turn to see an angry man with dark brown hair and thick eyebrows dressed in brilliant red. He was supported by several red-clad men, which Kylo recognized as the uniform of Guavian Death Gang. They appeared to have red bulls-eyes on their masks, almost as if they wanted Kylo to shoot them.

“Wait, you’re _Han_ Solo? _The_ Han Solo? The Rebellion general?” Finn exclaimed.

“That’s what they tell me,” Han answered. “Hey, so I may have forgot to mention that I’m in a bit of a spot with these guys,” Han said in an aside to Kylo. “You think you can, you know.” He gestured with his hand.

“What? A Jedi mind trick?”

Han raised his eyebrows hopefully. 

“I don’t do that anymore.”

“What’d’ya mean?”

“Not an option.”

Han looked exasperated as Kylo pressed his lips together, refusing to explain further. Finn looked back and forth between them, his brow wrinkling as he observed the pair argue.

Han heaved a sigh, settling his hands on his belt. “I guess I’ll do what I always do.”

“What?”

“I’ll talk my way out of it.”

“Because that works so well.”

“Yes, it does. Every time.”

“Han Solo. You’re a dead man,” the mercenary said, regaining their attention. He stepped into the middle of the street, which seemed to empty as people recognized the confrontation brewing. 

“Bala-Tik,” Han said. “What seems to be the problem?”

“The problem is we loaned you fifty thousand,” Bala-Tik said.

“Yeah.”

“I heard you also borrowed fifty thousand from Kanjiklub.”

“You know you can't trust those little freaks! How long've we known each other?”

“The question is how much longer will we know each other? Not long.” He took a step closer, and his men fanned out behind him. “We want our money back now.”

“Well, I spent that money, but I’m going to make it back for you. That was the deal.”

Bala-Tik continued, unimpressed. “Kanjiklub wants their investment back, too."

“I never made a deal with Kanjiklub!” Han exclaimed.

“Tell that to Kanjiklub.”

Kylo and Han turned to see a group of green-outfitted mercs with deep frowns and cocked blasters blocking the other end of the street. 

“Tasu Leech!” Han said, turning with a friendly, desperate smile. “Good to see you.”

“ _Wrong again, Solo_ ,” Tasu Leech replied in the Nar Kanji Huttese dialect with a grim smile. “ _I_ _t’s over for you.”_

 _“_ Boys, you’re both gonna get what I promised. Have I ever not delivered for you before?”

“Yes,” Bala-Tik said immediately.

“ _Twice!”_ Tasu Leech added.

“What was the second time?” Han demanded.

“Your game is old,” Bala-Tik said. “There's no one in the galaxy left for you to swindle.”

“ _And nowhere left for you to hide_ ,” Tasu Leech finished.

Bala-Tik cocked his head, staring at Kylo, then at Finn and the droid hiding behind his bulk. “That BB unit. The First Order is looking for one just like it.”

“First I've heard of it,” Han said blithely.

“We need to go,” Kylo said under his breath.

“Agreed,” Finn piped up.

“Now!” Kylo shouted, whipping out the blaster he had been concealing at his side and shot a power transformer squatting on the side of the street, causing a shower of sparks and explosions up and down the alley. Everyone began shouting in dozens of different tongues as chaos erupted, the greasy inhabitants shoving and scrambling in their attempts to escape. Kylo pulled Finn and Han roughly by the shoulders into a passageway and pushed them into a sprint, BB-8 spinning wildly and weaving through their legs to take the lead.

“The _Falcon’s_ docked next to the _Nowhere_ ,” Han panted as they ran. “Chewie’s waiting.” 

“The _Millenium Falcon?_ ” Finn gasped between lungfuls of air. “That’s awesome!”

Kylo knew this wasn’t the time to be bitter. Instead he turned, braced his arm, and shot down one of Bala-Tik's men in the center of his mask, then kept running.

“It’s a dump. We’re taking the _Nowhere_ ,” Kylo declared, pausing again to get a better aim as the others ran on.

“Where are you gonna go?” Han asked, stopping to take out a few mercs of his own next to Kylo.

“Does it matter?”

“I wanna help,” Han said, yanking Kylo to run as their pursuers pushed forward. 

“It’s a little late for that.”

They skidded into the space port. BB-8 already disappearing aboard the _Nowhere._ Finn stood at the bottom of the boarding ramp, using his borrowed blaster to provide covering fire for Han and Kylo as they ran towards him. Kylo could see the _Falcon’s_ tail glowing blue beside the _Nowhere_.

“Just tell me,” his father growled. Kylo didn’t know what possessed him to answer, maybe just a desire to get the man off of him. 

“Takodana.”

“Maz.” Han's lip curled up as he nodded. “Good plan.”

Both men ran to their respective ships, ducking under the blasterfire that began to pepper the space port while Finn calmly held off the pursuing mercenaries, shooting at the spaceport's entrance with unflinching accuracy. 

Kylo lunged aboard and into the cockpit, Finn close behind. Everything was set for takeoff since he always left everything in a ready state, anticipating trouble. Quickly he raised the shields and soon they were off, the _Falcon_ already slicing through the dark sky above them.

There was no pursuit from either Guavian Death Gang or Kanjiklub spacecraft, but Kylo knew that it didn’t matter with the First Order still on the hunt.

Kylo didn’t bother checking in with the _Falcon’s_ crew as they broke atmosphere. Instead, he set coordinates for the Tashtor sector, priming the hyperdrive. 

“What was all that?” Finn exclaimed, sitting himself in the copilot’s seat.

“Nothing,” Kylo said, even though that was a lie.

“Is Han Solo going to take us to the Resistance?”

“No, and no more questions.”

BB-8 asked it instead, and Kylo begrudged him an answer as he pushed the _Nowhere_ to take the jump to hyperspace.

“We’re going to talk to Maz Kanata.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I have Kylo quote Captain Jack Sparrow? Yes, yes I did.
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who's put up with me so far because we're 23k in and our star-crossed lovers have yet to share a scene. Don't worry, I'm just as anxious and frustrated as you are, possibly more, but I'm 85% sure that they will finally meet in the next chapter; if not, they will 100% meet in the next. I may just make it a really long chapter :)
> 
> Please let me know what you think and leave me a comment or kudos below - I love love love to hear from you all! If you're on tumblr, you can also share my [post here](https://a-nerd-obsessed.tumblr.com/post/180964565357/part-two-of-light-rises-and-darkness-to-meet-it-a).
> 
> Thanks for reading! Update in two weeks :)


	7. Seventh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks to the wonderful [AngstyWriter](https://angstywriterangst.tumblr.com) for beta'ing this chapter and also for cheering me up with photos of her wonderful furry friends :)
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](https://a-nerd-obsessed.tumblr.com)

Hux had the good sense to look abashed, even if he quickly masked it with a thin-lipped sneer. 

“I want to hear this woeful tale from your own mouth, General,” Kira said, Lieutenant Mitaka trailing helplessly behind her as she intercepted Hux exiting a lift aboard the _Finalizer_. 

“What in particular were you wanting to know?” Hux returned evenly. 

“The lieutenant told me that the _droid_ stole a yacht.” 

“We have no confirmation, but we believe that the bounty hunter and FN-2187 may have helped in the escape.” 

“The bounty hunter?” 

“Yes, the bounty hunter who calls himself Kylo.” 

Kira Ren was unnervingly still, her mood unreadable behind the reflective mask. 

“Is that all, Lord Ren?” Hux said sharply. 

“Yes, thank you. You’ve done enough.” 

Kira turned to leave, but Hux called after her. “You’ll want to know, our sources reported them on Nar Shaddaa, although they’ve since disappeared. But we have confirmed that they joined forces with one Han Solo aboard the _Millennium Falcon_.” 

Kira faced him again, her posture loose. 

Hux smirked. “It won’t be hard to find them in such infamous and... incautious company. I’ll have you informed once we’ve retrieved the map.” 

Kira didn’t move, but Hux’s smirk melted as he felt something constrict around his throat – not enough to cut off his oxygen or even push on his trachea, but enough to let him know that the capability was there, restrained. He glared. She knew she couldn’t follow through against the Supreme Leader’s favor. 

“I will be informed when you have their location, and I will retrieve the map myself. Your army has already failed several times at this simple task that I doubt they would succeed now.” Kira paused. “Anything else, General?” 

“That is all.” 

“Hmm, good.” 

Kira left with a satisfied stride that made Hux stew as he rubbed his throat with one hand. He whipped it away when he caught the sympathetic glance from Lieutenant Mitaka, glowering until the junior officer had the sense to look away. Hux saw then the fresh red marks on Mitaka’s neck, just above his pressed collar, and he swallowed. 

That wasn’t going to be him. It never would be him. Kira Ren would have to learn her place. 

“Sir, your shuttle is ready to transport you down to Starkiller Base,” Mitaka informed him. He coughed stiffly behind a trembling fist. Hux eyed him. 

“Excellent. Instruct Captain Peavey to keep the _Finalizer_ within the system. I want the crew to witness the demonstration later today.” 

“Yes, sir. Of course, sir.” 

~---~

Kylo wasn’t used to feeling settled. He wasn’t sure if the urge to move on was part of who he was or if it was a result of the course of his life, but he always felt relieved when he could leave a place behind, never looking back. 

He couldn’t help but notice that Finn had that same air, sitting behind him in the cockpit of the _Nowhere._ The recent First Order deserter was sitting straight in his seat, leaning forward, thoughtful eyes trained on the blur of hyperspace beyond the viewport, ready to move on, to keep going, to forget. 

Kylo’s scowl deepened. The thought made him angry – the last thing he needed was to see himself in a runaway. 

“He’s your father, isn’t he?” 

“What?” 

“Han Solo. He’s your father, right?” 

Kylo choked. 

“Or, I mean, I guess, he’s related to you at least, right?” 

“What – ” 

“I noticed that you have the same look. When you’re angry? That kind of glare with your – your mouth – ” 

“Finn...” Kylo warned. 

Finn continued, nonplussed. “I hadn’t ever seen that before.” 

“You hadn’t seen two people fight? I thought you were a stormtrooper.” 

“I was, and I did. But you guys didn’t fight like that.” 

“I’ll just take your word for it,” Kylo drawled. 

“So? Am I right?” 

“About what?” 

“Is he your father?” 

Kylo finally turned to glare at Finn, who just set his lips together and stared back. “If I answer, will you shut up?” 

“No.” 

“Then you don’t get an answer.” 

“Alright.” 

Kylo let his breath out through his teeth. 

“You know,” Finn started up again. 

Kylo faced forward. 

“I’m a Stormtrooper. Or I was. Whatever. Like everyone else, I was taken by the First Order from a family I’ll never know. They raised me to do one thing. But my first battle... I made a choice. I saw what they did, who they were. My squadmate died in the battle – and I'm not saying that to get sympathy or something, because obviously you didn't know him. But they just kept going. Slaughtering and burning and destroying. They didn’t care about him, or me, or anyone else. Everything they made me do was for themselves, and they didn’t care who got crushed along the way. And I decided I wasn’t going to kill for them. So I ran.” 

“Is there a point to this backstory?” 

Finn slammed a hand on the console. 

“Kriff, man, could you just listen?” 

“I’d rather not.” 

Finn sighed. “See, I feel like you know what I’m talking about. You saw something that changed everything. Except, maybe, I’m running to something – towards somewhere that I can actually care about something. But you’re running away from that, aren’t you?” 

Kylo sat rigid. “You know nothing, but _thank_ _you_ for the analysis. If you’re looking for something to care for, look somewhere else. This is a waste of time.” He stood up, stalking out of the cockpit. 

“Whoa, chill, man.” 

“Dameron and San Tekka could have been lying or insane, or both. This _map_ we're risking our asses for could be complete bantha poodoo. Ball! Where are you?” 

BB-8 appeared from the aft cabins, cheeping blithely as he rolled into the lounge. 

“Droid, show me the map,” Kylo demanded, crouching down. 

BB-8 was taken aback, swiveling his head to look at Finn, who stood behind Kylo. 

Finn shrugged. “Go ahead. Show him.” 

BB-8 seemed to consider them both, his wobble thoughtful. Finally, he rolled to the center of the room, turning on the holoprojector in his monoculus. A star chart appeared, growing larger, filling the space. Stars and planets and systems floated around them as Kylo stood. 

“It’s not complete,” Finn said, observing the small piece of the galaxy around them. “It could be anywhere. Do you think it’s real?” 

Kylo studied the systems displayed throughout the lounge. None of them were familiar, but the detail and logic of the map appeared valid. If Luke Skywalker wanted to disappear somewhere, he had sure done a much better job than Kylo had. 

“It seems legitimate,” Kylo admitted, “but it won’t do the Resistance much good unless they have the rest of this map.” 

“I can tell you the First Order does. They know everything.” 

“You better hope that’s not true, or we’re all dead. And as a traitor you’ll probably go first.” 

The navicomp pinged, signaling they were approaching their destination. Kylo returned to the cockpit and set the controls to prepare for the drop out of hyperspace. 

“You know, man, you’re kind of a jerk.” 

“I’ve been called worse.” 

“I’m a soldier. Trust me, I’m holding back.” 

Kylo disengaged the hyperdrive and the starlines warped into the individual pinpoints of light that formed the constellations of the sky over Takodana. The planet appeared above them through the viewport, a marble swirled through with vibrant greens and blues. 

“This place looks a lot nicer than Nar Shaddaa,” Finn observed as they approached atmosphere. 

“Looks can be deceiving.” 

“Yeah, I know, trusting a dishonest man and all that.” 

Kylo guided the _Nowhere_ down through the atmosphere to the surface, skimming over Nymeve Lake towards the far shoreline. The sea of leafy treetops extended to the horizon, rolling over hills and ridges like a lush carpet of emerald. 

_She would love this place_. 

“Switch off,” Kylo muttered. 

“Hey, just saying what you said.” 

“What? Never mind.” Kylo scowled. 

BB-8 whistled cheerfully as they disembarked on the treeline a few kilometers from the castle dominating the northern edge of the lake. A clean breeze swept off the water, playing with the end of Kylo’s cloak. 

“Yeah, we’re going to find you a way home. Finally,” Kylo agreed. 

“Hey!” 

Kylo, Finn, and BB-8 turned to see Han Solo loping through the trees towards them, presumably from the _Falcon’s_ landing space, trailed by a towering Wookiee. 

“Took you long enough. I thought maybe you’d bailed again,” he said. 

“I don’t _bail_ ,” Kylo said. 

“Oh, yeah, right. Sorry, I just meant –” 

Kylo slashed a hand through the air. “Forget it.” 

“Right.” 

Kylo didn’t get to speak again because he was being crushed by a pair of exceptionally strong, hairy arms. He didn’t resist either, because he knew that was completely pointless, just holding his breath and waiting stiffly for the rib-cracking ordeal to end. 

When he was finally released, Chewie held Kylo at armslength and roared in his face. Kylo didn’t flinch, knowing he deserved a much worse chastisement than he was receiving right now. Anything the Wookiee threw at Kylo, he had beat himself with over and over again every night of the past four years. 

“Hey, that’s enough, Chewie,” Han said gruffly, interrupting stage two of the Wookiee’s tirade. Chewbacca growled, clearly disagreeing. He narrowed his eyes at Kylo, taking in his unmoved expression with displeasure. Meanwhile, Finn gaped, gripping his weapon, unsure of how to react to the situation. 

Han noticed. “Big Deal, this is my first mate, Chewie.” 

Chewbacca rumbled a greeting to Finn, whose mouth was still slightly ajar, then asked a question while he ruffled Kylo’s hair with one giant hand. Finn’s bewilderment grew exponentially as he continued to observe their interaction. Kylo jerked away, pulling up his hood. 

“Yes, he’s former First Order,” Kylo answered stiffly. Chewbacca cocked his head, observing him with his old eyes. 

“You understand that?” Finn interjected. 

“Yeah, and he understands you, so watch it,” Han reprimanded. “Alright, we got a short hike before we get to Maz’s place. You ready?” 

Kylo’s lips thinned at Han’s presumption of “we”, but he admitted he had let “we” happen, so he could only blame himself. Anyway, if he could just transfer ownership of the droid’s situation to the crew of the _Falcon,_ he could still get out of this mess and disappear. 

They walked in single file, Kylo first, followed by BB-8. Han and the others trailed behind. 

He chose to be in front because he was in charge – but _kriff_ if he couldn’t feel them all looking at his back. He hunched his shoulders, trying to make the stares slide off. Eventually, he heard Han start up a conversation with Finn. 

“Maz Kanata has run this watering hole for over a thousand years. Now, Maz is a bit of an acquired taste,” Han said, “so you better let us do the talking. And don’t stare.” 

“At what?” Finn said apprehensively, glancing up at Chewie, who tilted his head sympathetically. 

“At any of it.” 

Kylo shook his head. Han was going to freak the kid out. 

They arrived in the courtyard of Maz’s castle, colorful banners waving in the breeze above their heads, overshadowed by a humanoid statue reaching towards the bright sky. 

“Alright, we find Maz, get her to take the droid to the Resistance, and then we all go our separate ways,” Kylo stated, ignoring the uncertain looks from the others. Only BB-8 seemed all in with the plan, already making his way up the shallow stairs towards the main doors. “Let’s go.” 

The doors slid open and the raucous noise and smell of the crowded cantina poured over them. The place was packed, busier than Kylo remembered. Sentients and droids mingled freely over drinks and cards, enjoying recreation and conducting business in one cacophonous harmony, all coordinated by the tiny orange-skinned ancient pirate carrying a tray of empty glasses back to the bar. She spun around, fixing eyes made over-large by giant lenses on the odd company in her doorway. 

“HAN SOLO!” 

The chatter and music crashed to a halt as every eye and lens and oculus in the castle turned to stare at them. 

Han coughed. “Hey, Maz.” 

Kylo glared with crossed arms at several of the cantina’s occupants until they looked away. Most just went back to their activities of their own accord, uninterested in whatever Maz was going on about now. 

Maz Kanata walked over to them, neatly shoving away anything and everyone who got in her way. 

“There’s my boyfriend,” Maz said with a grin, pinching Chewbacca on the arm. He huffed a warm greeting. “How’s the family?” 

Chewie told Maz about his son’s work on Kashyyyk with the resettlement of the Wookiee homeworld and gaining the New Republic’s support. Kylo could hear the pride in his voice, and felt his own shame rise even higher. Of course Chewbacca was upset with him – his own progeny had been rebuilding worlds and cultures, while Kylo had been destroying people and legacies. Well, the joke was on him – Kylo already knew he was a failure. 

“It’s about damn time,” Maz growled at Chewbacca, shaking her head. “Kashyyyk is one of the worst tragedies the Empire ever created.” 

Then she turned to Kylo, eyes sharp. 

“Ben Solo. I assume you must need something desperately if you’ve come to me. And with your father, too.” 

“I knew it!” Finn whispered to Chewbacca, who shook his head in warning. 

Maz looked between Han and Kylo, sighing. “Alright, let’s get to it.” 

Maz guided them over a table in the back of the space. Kylo scanned the crowd. While the majority seemed legitimately absorbed in their business, he caught a few sharp glances that melted away as soon as he took notice. They were still hot, apparently, and couldn’t afford to spend anymore time here than necessary. 

A droid brought over refreshments as they settled in awkwardly, no one sure where to sit. Eventually, Kylo ended up on the corner beside Finn, across from Chewie and Han. Maz presided, BB-8 near her feet. 

“So, what brings you to me?” 

Han and Kylo’s eyes met briefly before they parted just as quickly. Kylo refused to speak – what little goodwill he had had was lost when Maz called him by his old name. 

Han cleared his throat. “Well, the Resistance and the First Order are trying to get Luke, you know. And they were tracking down this map that they think will lead to him. Turns out that BB-8 here has that map.” 

“A map to Skywalker himself? Ha! You’re right back in the mess.” 

“Maz, we need you to get this droid back to Leia.” 

Han and Kylo waited while Maz considered, her sly smile growing. 

“Hmm. No.” 

“What?” 

Her expression turned fierce. “You both have been running away from this fight for too long. Leia doesn’t deserve this from her boys. Both of you, go home.” 

“What fight?” Finn asked, confused. 

“The only fight: against the Dark Side. Through the ages, I've seen evil take many forms. The Sith. The Empire. Today, it is the First Order. Their shadow is spreading across the galaxy. We must face them. Fight them. All of us." 

Kylo slammed a fist down on the table, making the untouched food and drink shiver. “We came here for your help. And who decided that they had to be stopped? That the First Order is the evil here? You?” Kylo demanded. 

The table went deathly silent, allowing the sound of the band and the crowd to wash over them. Kylo bristled. 

“Hmm.” Maz adjusted her lens, making her eyes grow even larger. She crawled up on the table, shoving aside obstacles as she came towards Kylo, who glowered, refusing to look away. 

“If you live long enough,” she mused, staring into his face, “you see the same eyes in different people. I’m looking at the eyes of a man who has lost something, and he doesn’t know where to begin to find it again.” 

Kylo reached into his pocket to feel for it – the small pearl was there, just like always – as Maz shuffled back to sit down in her seat again. 

“She had the same look, you know, when she came here. Looking for you, if I recall.” 

Kylo stiffened. _Did she mean_ – 

“It hasn’t been that long since I called you here to deal with her, Han. A lot has happened since then,” Maz sighed. 

_No!_

Kylo’s head jerked around at the cry, but no one else at the table seemed to notice anything amiss. 

“Leia doesn’t want to see me,” Han admitted. 

“ _That_ is an excuse,” Maz said. 

_No!_

He heard it again. Kylo shoved his chair back. 

“Hey, where are you going?” Han said. 

“What do you care, old man?” Kylo spat, and left. 

“Wait, Kylo!” Finn called. 

He could hear them arguing behind him, but Kylo ignored it. 

_No!_

Movement caught his eye, drawing his gaze to a stairway tucked in an odd corner, twisting out of sight. No one seemed to be paying attention, so he made his exit. 

Kylo stumbled downwards, finding himself in a basement corridor. It appeared empty and silent with no apparent source for the sounds he'd been hearing. He began to pace furiously, unable to find a vent for his churning emotions. 

A child’s laugh echoed around him and Kylo whirled, but all he saw was BB-8, who had followed him down the stairs. He sighed. Maybe he was finally cracking. 

“BB-8, you need to go.” 

BB-8 whistled. 

“No, I’m not fine, and no, it’s not your fault. Just go. They’ll figure out a way to help you.” 

There was a pneumatic hiss at the far end of the corridor. Both Kylo and BB-8 turned to find the source and saw a door standing open, a green indicator light on the wall next to it. 

“Who’s there?” 

No one answered, and Kylo slid the blaster from his belt and stalked towards the opening. Peering in, he saw nothing but a storage room, full of forgotten boxes and crates. Still, he felt compelled to go in. 

It was dusty, the light dingy coming from high windows edged with emerald grass from the outdoors. No one was there either. He looked at BB-8, peeking in the doorway. 

“Must be a glitchy door,” Kylo said, his voice muffled in the claustrophobic room. He moved to leave, berating himself for being an idiot, and tripped over a wooden chest he would have sworn hadn’t been there before. Cursing, he tried to shove it with his foot, but it refused to be moved. Kylo bent down to pick it up, but it was heavier than it had any right to be and his hands slipped. The lid caught on his fingers, flipping up. 

Kylo stopped breathing. 

A lightsaber lay on top of a pile of soft fabric, gleaming in the dim lighting. 

“How,” he breathed. _It can’t be_. 

He didn’t consciously decide to reach into the chest, but when he touched the smooth metal of the hilt, it felt warm. It felt like an opening, something returning that he had set aside a long time ago. 

The lid slammed shut of its own accord, making Kylo jump. The light was gone and the wind howled, morphing into mechanized breath sounds. 

_What_ – 

The light returned, flickering in panels in the floor and walls. The storage room was gone, replaced by a hallway stretching to infinity, something from a starcraft or a space station. The air was cold and dead, voices murmuring in his mind. Kylo stepped forward, about to call out, seeking answers – 

The world tilted, and Kylo was thrown to the ground, catching himself on his hands and knees in the mud. He looked up into a rain shower as thunder rumbled in the air. The Temple was burning, his throat felt coated with smoke and ash, he couldn’t breathe. He turned away. 

A sharp crackle drew his attention. He saw her, a dark hood covering a faceless mask that reflected the red of the hungry flames and the angry lightsaber and spilt blood of the bodies, so many bodies, all his fault. She came for him and he was stumbling back, unbalanced – 

_No!_

_“_ Ben, please.” 

A woman with her brunette hair twisted in a wreath about her head was talking to a sullen teenager with long dark hair that didn’t do anything to conceal his large ears. 

“Go with Luke. He’ll be able to help you.” 

“What? Like her?” 

A few meters away, the scrawny girl was playing with her borrowed holopad, oblivious. 

“You think I’m messed up, hopeless like her?” 

“Ben! Don’t say that. She just needs help.” 

“And so do I, apparently. Fine, I’ll go. Maybe Luke Skywalker, savior of the galaxy, can fix what the amazing Senator Organa doesn’t have time for anymore.” 

“Ben!” 

Kylo was fixated on the silent tears sliding down the girl’s cheeks unnoticed by the others. _His fault_. When he looked up the boy and his mother were gone – 

And there was snow. Dead trees, quiet as the white flakes settled thickly over the ground. He looked back but the girl is gone too. 

“Rey?” he whispered, the name sticking in his throat. Kylo stepped forward, searching between the trees. “Hello?” 

The dark figure was nearly invisible amongst the shadowed trees, but he walked toward her, unable to do anything else. 

He stopped when they were almost touching. The mask reflected his own face, unfamiliar as a stranger’s. 

He didn’t feel it at first, when she lit the lightsaber through his chest. He saw the red glow and heard the unhinged buzzing, and then it burned, searing through his heart – 

_This will begin to make things right._

Kylo collapsed, gasping for air on the cool stone, his eyes closed to block out the horrible image. 

“Ben.” 

He looked up to see Maz standing over him as he spluttered on the ground. “What – what was that?” 

Her words were soft, wondrous. “That lightsaber was Luke’s, and his father’s before him, and now – it calls to you.” 

“No.” Kylo pushed himself to his knees. “I want no part of this.” 

“Dear child. I can see in your eyes you already know the truth. You are trying to escape your past, but you can only do that by facing your present. The belonging you lost is not behind you. It is ahead. I am no Jedi, but I know the Force. It moves through and surrounds every living thing." 

“Not me.” 

“It’s always been there. Open yourself, and it will guide you again. The saber. Take it.” 

Kylo stared at the lightsaber in her hand. In another lifetime, he would’ve died to have it, his legacy, his grandfather’s weapon in the Light, a bedrock of assurance. But it was too late for that. He drew back. 

“I’m never touching that again. I want no part of this.” 

Kylo turned and ran away from Maz and the saber, bounding up the stairs three at a time. At the top of the staircase, the cantina remained unchanged, ignorant of his internal maelstrom. His father and Chewbacca and Finn still sat at the table, conversing together. They saw him emerge from the passageway, but Kylo spun and pushed through the crowd. 

“Kylo!” 

He ignored the call, but Finn caught up to him and yanked his arm. 

“Hey, Kylo. You all right?” 

Kylo turned on him. “Get out while you can. Right now.” 

“What?” 

“You were right. We’re the same. But I’m caught, and I can only care for things that fate has already decided – and I choose not to care because it’s the only choice left to me. But unlike me, Finn, you have no ties to destiny holding you back. So go, find somewhere that you can really care for something. Anyone of these people here will probably trade labor for passage to the Outer Rim.” 

Kylo wrenched his arm free and stormed out of the castle and into the forest, leaving a stunned ex-stormtrooper in his wake. 

~---~ 

Kira Ren waited on the bridge of the _Finalizer._

It was actually enjoyable without Hux sputtering and sniveling beside her as she gazed out the expansive viewports. Captain Peavey made a point of avoiding her and the officers in the pits didn’t dare look up, ducking whenever her shadow crossed over them. 

The noise of their work faded to the background as she stared unseeing at the stars. She was even able to ignore Hux’s thin voice when his address started, broadcast over the ship’s intercom so all personnel could hear his vitriolic words. 

She braced herself. The other Knights aboard the _Finalizer_ had chosen to seclude themselves in their chambers, hiding from the impending consequences of Hux’s pride. Kira preferred to see it coming. Being here also kept her accountable, because she could never show weakness in front of simple officers. 

After a few moments, crimson sliced through the sky, reflected as bloody slashes across her mask. It traveled faster than should have been natural as the dark energy quintessence tunneled through hyperspace towards the Hosnian system. The beam of light diverged, burying itself in the heart of each planet in the distant system. 

A simple flick of a switch, a push of a button by a First Order lackey, and planets became molten hellscapes. 

It _hurt._ Pain like she’d never experienced, the accumulation of the fear and distress of billions rolling over and through her, and then like a black hole, being pulled back out of her, leaving nothing behind. 

Kira Ren did not flinch or shudder. Instead, she relaxed her hands from tight fists, letting her shoulders ease a millimeter. 

“Sir.” 

Kira pivoted to face the lieutenant, the same unfortunate soul that she had nearly strangled just yesterday. 

“What?” 

“W-we found them. The droid was sighted with the two fugitives on Takodana, sir.” 

“Prepare my command shuttle immediately, and inform the other Knights.” 

“Y-yes, sir.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So guys, it's inevitable now. THEY WILL FINALLY AND GLORIOUSLY COLLIDE IN THE NEXT CHAPTER. 
> 
> It's gonna be dope. At least it is in my head. And hey, if you wanna talk about it or yell at me for making you wait another two weeks, leave a comment or hit me up on [tumblr](https://a-nerd-obsesed.tumblr.com). I love hearing from y'all. 
> 
> And thanks for putting up with me and being such amazing readers. See you in two weeks!


	8. Eighth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The moment you've all been waiting for...
> 
> Once again, many thanks to my beta [AngstyWriter](https://angstywriterangst.tumblr.com) for going above and beyond.
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](https://a-nerd-obsessed.tumblr.com)!

Kylo crashed through the undergrowth, blind to the brilliance of the greenery and the trill of the crickets in the forest around him.

He was shaking. Uncontrollable shivers rolled over his body despite his attempts to will himself into submission. He clenched his fingers to stop their trembling as he ran, but it just worsened the shudders running through his limbs.

Kylo came to a halt in a small hollow somewhere deep in the trees, breathing hard. He pulled up his hood, clapping his hands over his ears, trying to block out the cacophony of the living forest heard only by him.

It was still there, the Force. Pressing in on him, seeking entrance to his heart and mind. Harder than it had in years.

Touching the lightsaber had been a huge mistake. It had been a moment of weakness, allowing the Force - which battered at his conscious like the relentless waves of a stormy sea - a crevice through which to reach him.

He struggled now, shoring up his defenses. Trembling fingers tore at his hair and sweaty palms slapped the side of his face, trying to stop the thoughts, beat out the emotions that he’d run from for so long from. He wasn’t aware that he had fallen to his hands and knees, fighting as the universe quite literally tried to reassert control over him.

Kylo remembered when he had first cut himself off. He had used all his fear and anger and self-hatred in that moment without a conscious choice, but it had been beyond anything he had ever experienced before or since. The Force was ejected from his consciousness and taken his pain with it, leaving him empty.

Now, it was trying to come back and fill him with everything he hadn’t wanted to feel then. It was still too close, too fresh, even after four years with the images of the Force vision, images of her, spinning through his head on a loop.

 _Rey_...

“Bwee-oop?”

Kylo nearly blasted the orange-and-white droid before he got control over his reflexes, his hands shaking violently as he lowered the blaster. He slumped over so he was sitting on the soft ground.

“Beebee. What the – what are you doing out here? Damn it, droid!”

BB-8's head whipped around to view the small crater in the rock behind him, newly formed by Kylo’s pulled shot. BB-8 spun back to glare at Kylo and let loose a shrill string of curses.

Kylo chuckled weakly, clutching his throbbing head. “Did Dameron know you have such a dirty mouth?”

BB-8 whistled exasperatedly and repeated his question.

“Why do you keep asking? Does it look like I’m fine?”

BB-8 chirped a negative. Kylo put his head down on his arms, elbows on his knees, nails biting into his forearms. “You can’t follow me without anyone knowing where you are. It’s not safe.”

The droid squealed reproachfully.

“Not against the First Order. There’s a reason I avoid them, at least until a few days ago.”

BB-8 tapped Kylo’s boot, causing him to look up. Kylo sighed. “I’m done, droid. I can’t keep doing this. It’ll destroy me, and probably you too if you stay with me.” He pressed his nails harder into his skin. “I’m not that strong.”

BB-8 bleeped resolutely.

Kylo smiled wryly, but his expression turned to a grimace as the Force continued to batter at his mind. “I appreciate that, buddy, but you need to go back to the others.”

The droid whistled in irritation.

“Fine. I’ll take you back, but then I’m gone.”

Kylo shakily got to his feet, feeling like a newborn fathier as he splayed his legs to balance himself. Once he was mostly upright, he found it easier to start walking.

He hadn’t realized how far he’d come until he had to go back. The trees seemed endless, interrupted only by smooth boulders and small ridges and thin streams. The latter he used to correct his course, assuming they ran towards the lake. Kylo was constantly distracted, though, by the struggle for control of his mind, which he suspected was made worse by the vivacity of the planet, rich with the Force. He let BB-8 choose their way, trusting the droid to take them back to Maz’s place.

He was beginning to feel as though he could breathe normally when they came out on the lakeshore about a click from the castle. Kylo blinked his eyes to clear his vision from the glare of sunlight on the water and nearly tripped over BB-8, who halted abruptly and whipped his head around so he could peer down the length of the lake.

Kylo cursed. “Watch it, droid!”

Then he heard it too.

It was the unmistakable scream of ion engines, rolling over the surface of the water as a herald of destruction.

Kylo ran towards the castle, sprinting around mossy tree trunks and over grassy hillocks with BB-8 spinning behind him. He would be too late, he knew, but maybe he could reach the Nowhere and make his escape before the First Order took command of the skies over Takodana. Kylo cursed himself for deciding to have his little meltdown deep in the far woods now that his ship was on the other side of the lake.

“Hurry, Beebee!”

The air shuddered with the first strike on the stone castle. Kylo threw a glance at the lake and saw a few squadrons of TIE fighters strafing across the lake towards Maz’s, water thrown up in the air with the speed of their passing.

By the time he reached the castle grounds, it was like a broken insect nest. The occupants swarmed out in droves only to be destroyed by the white-armored exterminators arriving in force from transports, wielding blaster rifles and riot batons. Kylo observed the chaos from behind a tuft of brush. Most of the displaced fought back with no real intention, just shock and anger, and were quickly silenced as more stormtroopers joined the fray. It wasn’t a fair fight by any measure as the air support continued to pummel the remaining structure, raining fire and debris on those below who struggled to escape the wreckage.

Kylo wondered briefly where the others were, if they had made it out, thinking of his father’s claim that he could talk his way out of anything. Kylo felt an odd twinge in his gut as he speculated that despite everything Han Solo probably couldn’t argue with a castle crumbling down on his head.

Well, Kylo refused to be buried in this mess, whatever happened to the others, ignoring the growing sick feeling in his stomach and the lingering throb in his head.

“Beebee-Ate, move.”

Kylo turned to dive back into the forest, but he was prevented when a plasma bolt blasted into the tree beside his head.

Kriff.

They’d been spotted. Kylo ducked and twisted behind the tree trunk, sending a volley of fire towards the pair of stormtroopers edging along the border of the woods, smiling when they fell to the ground with anguished cries. A stray thought wondered if Finn would be able to engage his former comrades, but Kylo had come to recognize that just because Finn had compassion didn’t mean he couldn’t fend for himself. That is, if he wasn’t dead already.

Kylo stepped out from behind the tree, noting more white-armored soldiers drawing away from the main fracas to investigate their little firefight. He sniped off a couple of the nearer ones, the concentration necessary for the kill shots suppressing the stubborn remnants of his internal battle in favor of the external one before him.

He probably would have stood there a long time, lost in the battle adrenaline, when the castle tower crumbled, sending splintered stone careening downward. Kylo pulled himself back into the treeline. He couldn’t take on a whole First Order division alone, and BB-8 was still hiding behind his legs, whimpering.

“All right, all right!” Kylo said, taking one last shot. He scanned the battlefield again, but there was no sign of anyone familiar. He decided it was time to cut his losses - which was ironic because he’d never gotten any gains. “Let’s go.”

It wasn’t the first time he’d run away, but this time his hunter wouldn’t give up as easily. Kylo heard more ion engines descending from the skies, these ones sounding deeper, snarling. They settled down behind him as he stumbled into the trees. He didn't think to look back as the Force pushed and pulled at him, stronger now, more pointed and intentional as though trying to tell him something even as it crushed any chance of rational thought to oblivion.

~---~

Kira Ren stepped off of the command shuttle onto the smoking, grimy ruin along Nymeve Lake. Her cowl was pulled up over the blank mask that glinted under the afternoon sun. Along with her heavy dark robes, she appeared like a specter of death come to reap the souls of those who lay dead and dying under stone or over rubble. No one spoke as she surveyed the fresh devastation. It was eerily quiet except for the soft crackle of flame and the occasional shot on the far side of the battlefield.

He was here. But where?

Kira reached out with her feelings, trying to find the long-absent sense of his conscience. He had to know he couldn’t hide from her. They had waited too long for this.

She recognized the others – Han Solo, Chewbacca, FN-2187 – nearby. Alive, then.

But he wasn’t with them. She couldn’t feel him.

_No._

If he was dead, so was everyone on this planet.

“Master?”

Kira tensed, having forgotten the others Knights behind her, waiting. Dorrit and Ymiré Ren had disembarked when she had, and now stood flanking her.

There was a flare in the web of the Force – but no, it was more like a rush and pull, something anomalous that tugged at her conscience, a flickering ember, burning gold and crimson with a small breath before going dark again. Just like what she’d sensed on Chrome Citadel and then briefly at Tuanul. Could it be?

Blasterfire broke out from where she had determined the other fugitives to be, beyond the ruinous mound that used to be the castle.

“Ren, secure the situation. You’ll find the targets there, and the droid may be with them,” Kira ordered.

“Yes, sir.” Both Knights moved away, seeming to drift soundlessly like the smoke haunting the wreckage, in contrast to the squad of stormtroopers that hustled after them.

“Sir.” A squadron leader approached and saluted. “A man was seen heading off into the woods, and he had a droid with him. Should we pursue?”

_There you are._

“No.” Kira turned towards the forest, raising a hand when the remaining soldiers started to follow. “Establish a perimeter. No one else escapes.”

She strode into the trees, her feet sure as she followed the strange feeling towards him.

It could only be him. Nothing else could make such an impression in the Force, like everything was being drawn into his gravity.

Except that she couldn’t actually feel him. It was unlike anything she had experienced before – like an absence of the Force, a gaping hole where he should have been. Kira quickened her pace, oddly curious and desperate all at once.

The currents of the Force shifted abruptly, tugging her away from her heading parallel to the lake, instead pulling her deeper into the woods.

Kira quickened her pace, angling her trajectory to intersect with his.

It had to be him.

She was on the verge of running through the trees, taking long strides that bounded over and through the undulations the forest floor. It didn’t take long, and soon Kira's hunt brought her close enough that she could track him using her standard senses. He was just out of sight, but she could hear him ahead and she slowed to his pace, readying herself.

No, not ready. How could she be? She had been ready for a long time, and yet she couldn’t be. She didn’t realize she had been so eager for this moment until it had arrived.

Behind the mask, she licked her lips. Everything was heightened – the shade patterns of trees, the faint rustling of the leaves, the earthy fragrance of loam, the gentle tug of the breeze on the end of her cloak.

A twig snapped under her boot, and she heard his sharp intake of breath. A safety released with a sharp click, letting her know he was armed.

The element of surprise was gone, but Kira didn’t care. She removed her lightsaber hilt from her belt and ignited it in one smooth motion as she stepped around a lichen-coated boulder.

He fired at her immediately, scrambling away, ducking behind a tree trunk with exposed roots snagging at the air. Sensing the plasma bolts before she could fully realize it, Kira twisted away so that his frantic shots missed. Still, she kept her eyes locked on Ben – _it is him, isn’t it?_ – and saw him run from her, diving into a shallow ravine. Kira raised her crackling blade and followed, both frustrated and amused. She needed him to stand still so she could just look at him, look in his eyes. _Why is he running?_

As soon as she came into view at the mouth of the ravine, he fired again and again. Kira was forced to use her lightsaber to block his attack, although it was more of an effort not to hit him with his own reflected fire than to keep him from hitting her. She could just see the form of his face under the hood, his long hair falling across his eyes and his jaw clenched tight, even as he backed away from her.

It was strange, how she could see his panic in his movements, yet she couldn’t feel it, feel him. Where he was, the Force was seemingly vacant. Her skin tingled. What did you do?

Kira kept pace with him as though in a trance. Ben seemed mesmerized, too, as she lazily batted away his hopeless attempts to halt her advance. Her heart raced despite her lack of effort – he had nowhere to go.

His hood fell back when his spine hit the end of the natural fissure in the ground, jarring him enough that he glanced around to look for an escape. Using a ledge, Ben pulled himself up then leaped for the opposite side so that his torso collided with the top with a grunt. One desperate surge and he lifted himself up and disappeared.

Kira huffed in irritation. Gathering the Force, she sprung upwards and landed on the forest floor, her boots thudding firmly and her saber sizzling angrily. Instantly, Kira’s eyes locked on his fleeing figure. Her hand stretched out, tired of this game. Ben froze, trembling as he struggled, immobilized by her power.

Kira let out her breath as she straightened. Slowly, she walked towards him.

He was facing away, still poised as if to run from her. She heard him choke as he fought against the invisible bonds and her fingers twitched, momentarily increasing pressure until she restrained herself – she didn’t want to hurt him, even if she should.

The forest was silent except for his shallow breathing and her sputtering weapon as Kira came up behind him.

She touched his arm softly with gloved fingers and felt him recoil even if he couldn’t physically move. His breath grew more panicked as she ran her hand down his arm and firmly tugged the useless blaster free from his grip, tossing it away into the undergrowth. Kira circled him, turning to finally see him, only centimeters between them.

Kira gazed at his face, slowly dragging her eyes over the dark stubble on his throat and jaw, the pale skin over his cheekbones, the strong angle of his nose, the pained crease between his brows, the lank hair brushing his forehead, ending in his eyes.

He wouldn’t look at her.

That was the point of the mask’s reflectiveness, to make others see their own fear and weakness and agony, and shrink away from it. But that wasn’t who Ben was, or used to be. He never looked away from her.

“Ben.”

Her voice sounded strange in her own ears, enriched by the mask’s vocoder. Ben cringed as though she had just slapped him. Kira switched off the saber hanging loose in her grasp, a vague attempt to put him at ease. The Force was shrieking through her mind, discordant, trying to tell her something here was very wrong. And still, she couldn’t feel him.

“What did you do?” she whispered. He let out a choked moan, trying to wrench himself free from her, sweat beading on his forehead.

Kira laid a hand on his cheek and he started violently, his chest heaving. She reached out with her feelings, probing for his mind. The Force thrashed.

“Please,” he gasped, “don’t.”

Kira pushed harder and he groaned, his eyes squeezing shut.

It was as though he had built an impenetrable wall around himself, keeping everything out – emotion, the Force, even her. She pulled back, impressed. He was still so strong, even in his weakness. But she could still bring him back.

“Ben.”

He blinked, loosening the tears that had collected in the corners of his eyes.

“Why would you do this?”

He gritted his teeth. “I’m not telling you anything.”

She removed her hand and his body slumped as much as her invisible hold allowed. “You know you can’t keep anything from me,” Kira chided.

“Sir!”

Kira jerked around, causing the two stormtroopers who had found them to jump. Dimly over the quaking of the Force around her and Ben, she became aware that the sound of explosions had started in the direction of the castle again.

“Resistance fighters, sir. We need more troops.”

Kira turned back to Ben, who was finally looking at her, his eyes pleading. She frowned. “Pull out the division. We have what we need.”

“Yes, sir.”

Kira waited until they left and then she moved close to Ben again. His eyes were hard but desperate, almost crazed. The disruption in the Force had reached a fever pitch so that she almost couldn’t feel her own thoughts. Kira frowned. It was too distracting to deal with now. She raised her hand to his face again, but instead of touching his cheek, she shoved her way through his shield with a pointed blow and pinched out his conscience.

Ben’s eyes rolled up in his head and he fell softly to the ground. Almost as an afterthought, Kira bent to catch him before his body hit the earth. She knelt for a moment on the soft dirt, Ben’s unconscious form draped across her lap before she roused herself.

Kira rose steadily to her feet, an arm under his knees and the other wrapped around his shoulders. She almost cradled him as she turned and bore his weight through the trees.

He was thinner then she would have supposed under the layers of dark fabric. Holding his sleeping form, she was unable to ignore the hollows under his eyes or the prominence of his bones as she carried him onto the battlefield. It made her angry – at what she didn’t know. Ben, perhaps, for his weakness that he led them to this moment.

Although the Force had quieted when she put him to sleep, the remnants of her anticipation and expectations of their reunion whirled around her. Kira moved through the wreckage of the castle towards her shuttle with her burden, indifferent to the ongoing battle even as she noted the X-wings that tangled with TIE fighters in the sky above them.

The assigned stormtroopers and her Knights waited at the bottom of the shuttle’s ramp, but no one stirred to assist her. Though the incongruous sight of her and her encumbrance could have been awkward or even laughable, Kira Ren bore her prize with all the satisfaction and status of the greatest victor, if that victor had been an embodiment of Darkness and destruction.

Kira boarded the command shuttle and went to her private cabin, leaving the others to their own devices.

She didn’t notice the door sliding shut behind her as she laid him on the small table. He was too big for the space despite the malnutrition she suspected. His legs dangled off the end of the table, and his hand hung down, limp and empty. Ben didn’t stir as she settled into the stiff chair opposite the table in the tiny space. With a sigh, she pulled down the scarf over her chin and pushed back her hood so she could remove her mask and look at him with no barriers.

It was only when she felt the shuttle push away from Takodana’s gravity as she gazed at his profile that Kira realized she had forgotten about the droid and the map to Skywalker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this has been a long time coming and I'm dying to know... What did you think??? I'd love to hear from you all, and how you think they're going to figure out this mess now that they're face-to-face after so long. So hit me up on [tumblr](https://a-nerd-obsessed.tumblr.com) or leave a comment below. Be sure to subscribe for updates!
> 
> Of course, thank you all for reading - you're the best! Update in two weeks per usual!


	9. Ninth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to [AngstyWriter](https://angstywriterangst.tumblr.com) for taking time out of the day to read over my drivel and send back some really great advice
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](https://a-nerd-obsessed.tumblr.com)

_One day earlier..._

“You’re here! I'm sorry I had to leave you behind, gorgeous. Thank the stars you’re alright.” 

“You should thank her,” Paige Tico said, nodding towards her sister. “She’s the one who fixed her up good as new. You really ought to take better care of your property, Dameron.” 

“What? Oh, yeah, thanks, Rose. You’re the best mechanic in the Resistance.” 

Rose, standing next to _Black One_ in the main hangar on D’Qar, blushed and smiled. “It was no big deal. Anyone here could’ve done it.” 

“But not everyone could have caught all the viruses and trackers in her systems. Seventeen, Dameron. Seventeen!” 

“I’m sorry, baby,” Poe said, reaching up to run a hand along the X-wing's fuselage. He threw a grin at Rose. “Seriously, thank you, Rose.” 

“It was nothing,” she said hastily. “I - I’ve got other things to do, so I’ll just be over there. Yup, okay. See you around. Or not. Because maybe you’ll be on a super important mission. Bye!” 

Poe and Paige watched Rose scurry off towards the far side of the hangar where several other mechanics in dull yellow jumpsuits were working on the hodgepodge of vessels that made up the Resistance’s fleet. 

Paige turned to Poe. “Have you seen the General yet?” 

“That’s where I’m headed next.” Poe shrugged, then winced. Bacta patches had healed all his injuries on the surface, but he could still feel the effects of his recent torture and crash landing in the deep ache in his bones. It felt as though all his marrow had been sucked out, dried, and then forced back in. It was uncomfortable to say the least, but he pushed the feeling aside. 

“She’s going to tear you to pieces. You know that, right?” 

“General Organa will understand when I explain it to her.” 

“Hmm. You’re a lot more confident than I’d be in your position. At some point you’re going to cross the line with one of these schemes of yours and then you’ll face the wrath of the Princess.” 

Poe grinned. “We’ll see.” 

“You can bet on it. I’ll be front row when she rips you apart.” 

“Thanks for the support, Paige.” 

Paige waved as she headed off after her sister. “Learn a little humility, Dameron. It’ll do you good.” 

“I’m humble,” Poe muttered to himself as he exited the hangar into the warm daylight outside. 

D’Qar was a moderate planet, covered in a furry coat of deciduous trees. Poe Dameron took a deep breath of clean air as he strode across the wide slab of duracrete that bisected the base, headed towards command. 

Although he was fairly sure that Leia would support his unsanctioned decision, he wasn’t sure the other senior staff would be as amenable to his half-cocked solo mission to retrieve the map to Skywalker. It had been a long shot, he knew, but it had paid off. Or it would, once they found BB-8. 

Oh, yeah, and there was the small matter of involving Ben Solo – or Kylo, whatever – in his adventure. Leia might not be too excited about that. Or very excited. Poe didn’t know. Maybe he could use that particular card to soften the blow... 

He crossed through a smaller hangar and into the hallway beyond it, pulling up short to allow the pneumatic door to slide open so he could pass in. 

“Just the man I wanted to see,” the General growled, noticing Poe as soon as he set foot in the room. 

“General, I –” 

“Save it. We’ll have a full debriefing later, but I know enough of the details that we have to make finding your droid the top priority. And fortunately, we’ve just gotten word that BB-8 is on Takodana.” 

“That’s great!” Poe exclaimed. 

Leia continued as if he hadn’t spoken. “Unfortunately, the First Order knows it too, and we need to send in a fighting unit rather than an extraction team. Is Black Squadron ready to go?” 

“Yes, ma’am!” Poe said enthusiastically. 

“Excellent. Tell your pilots to move out immediately. You’ll receive specific coordinates and details directly to your ships’ navcomps. Once you've secured the area, I’ll be there to deal with the situation.” 

“In person?” Poe blurted. “General, it’s too dangerous for you to expose yourself in an active conflict zone, especially with First Order presence. I can take care of it, don’t worry.” 

General Organa gave him a flat stare, the very same stare that had cowed senators and scoundrels alike. 

“Don’t think you can tell me where I can and cannot expose myself, commander. I happen to know you’ve been working with my son, and I’d like to see him out of whatever mess you’ve wrangled him into.” 

Poe grimaced. “He might not take very well to that. He wasn’t happy to see me – tried to kill me actually. Twice.” 

“You’re not his mother. I am.” The general quirked an eyebrow. 

“Yes, ma’am,” Poe acquiesced. 

“Alright. Get moving, commander. We don’t have time to waste.” 

Poe saluted and left command briskly with the sense that although he had not been burned, he had definitely been singed. 

~---~ 

When Black Squadron dove into Takodana’s atmosphere, Poe was fully lost in the adrenaline high of flight, every nerve ending alight as he gave _Black One’s_ systems one last review. 

“Black Squadron, check in.” 

Poe received confirmation from all members, spearing through the air alongside him, and he grinned. A column of smoke was pushing upwards on the far side of Nymeve Lake so he knew the First Order had beaten them there. But perhaps they weren’t too late. 

“Fighters in attack formation. Stay low on the surface of the lake. We’ll try to catch those eyeballs by surprise.” 

Water spurted up in their wake as the Black Squadron tore across the waves towards the battle, their wings spreading into the signature X configuration. 

“We got incoming,” Snap Wexley said over comms. 

“Stay loose,” Poe called back, “and give them hell.” 

The TIE fighters hovering above the smoking ruin on the lakeshore had spotted them, firing green ion bolts that sizzled into the water when they missed the evasive X-wings storming towards them. 

Poe Dameron flew up and over the battle as Black Squadron broke apart, tangled in a massive, snarling dogfight with the First Order fighters. Everything was heightened. He could almost sense the movement of the combatants around him, even over the thrum of the ship around him. 

Before the decision was fully made, he twisted _Black One_ upand over, angling so that he could take out two TIEs in one shot. Poe whooped as they exploded in fiery wreckage, smashing into the forest. Another quick shot, and he decimated a clump of stormtroopers on the ground below. A few congratulations from the squadron filtered through the comm chatter and the concussive blasts of the battle, and Poe smiled grimly. 

After the humiliation of his capture on Jakku, the brutality of the impersonal interrogation, the agony of invading his mind, the desperation of the escape from the _Finalizer_ , the panic of waking alone in the desert of a primitive planet – he had been left feeling unbalanced. 

Poe Dameron thrived on chaos, but usually he rode above it, using the unpredictable energy to propel himself beyond everyone else. This last time, though, he had been snagged in the teeth of that chaos and dragged fully into it. Because he was Poe Dameron, he had appeared to bounce back unscathed. But within himself, he felt dinged and tarnished. 

But now, with sky and earth inverted as he looped through the battle wreaking havoc on the First Order forces, the clouds cleared and he felt the light return to his veins. 

“Looks like they’re pulling out,” Jessika Pava said, lighting up a TIE who had gotten too close to Wexley’s tail. 

Poe came out of his trance, glancing down to see the First Order transports lifting up from the ground. The only stormtroopers left on the field were unmoving, presumably either dead or close to death. 

“What’s that? On the eastern shore?” 

Poe looked and saw a familiar sight: a First Order command shuttle rising above the trees, spreading its wings before blasting away and rising through the atmosphere, escorted by a couple of the remaining TIEs. They didn’t fire at any of the Resistance vessels, as though trying not to draw attention. Or as though they didn’t care. He grimaced. 

“Looks like the Ren were here,” Poe said. 

“Should we pursue?” 

Poe’s hands tightened on the stick, hesitating. “No,” he said, teeth gritted. “We have to secure the area for the General to land. Scan the remains to make sure that there aren’t any unpleasant surprises waiting.” 

~---~

Finn had felt as though they had been making some progress, like maybe they might actually be able to get BB-8 to the Resistance and still be alive at the end of it all. Maz was odd, to be sure, but she also seemed to know a lot more than she should, which would be a good thing if she would help them. 

But then Maz had refused to do anything and told them to fix it themselves. And she’d said something to Kylo – Ben? – that Finn hadn’t totally understood and Kylo had gotten mad and stormed off. Han seemed at a loss of what to do besides plead with Maz until Chewbacca roared at him. Then Han and Chewbacca started bickering while Finn sat there feeling like an outsider who had stumbled into a whole mess he had no idea existed. Somewhere in there Maz disappeared, then a few minutes later Kylo reappeared, storming through the cantina towards the door. 

Finn had jumped up and intercepted him, just trying to see if he was alright, and Kylo had turned on him with a crazed, desperate look and ranted to him about _fate_ and _choice_ and _caring,_ almost incoherent before shoving him away and running outside. 

Finn returned to the booth where the others were watching him, including Maz. 

“What was that all about?” Han asked, frowning in concern. 

“I don’t know,” Finn admitted. “He seemed off-balance though. More than normal.” 

“More than normal,” Han muttered with a pained chuckle. 

Maz shook her head. “The boy is still running from his choices. He needs to accept them or it will tear him apart.” She stood. “Come with me. I have something, and if he won’t take it from me, maybe he’ll take it from you.” 

“What is it?” Han said wearily, his shoulders slumped. “We still gotta get this droid to the Resistance.” 

Chewbacca yipped. 

“What did he say?” Finn asked. 

“Where’s the droid?” Han exclaimed, springing up. “Kriff!” 

Everyone except Maz searched around under the curious looks of the other nearby patrons, but BB-8 had vanished. 

“We can’t let the First Order get that map!” Finn said. “If they do, that’s the end – they'll be undefeatable.” 

There was an urgent murmur from outside, then from those closest to the entrance and windows of the cantina. Maz immediately hopped up and shoved through the crowd pushing to see what the commotion was, although no one seemed panicked. 

“Where’s she going? Solo, where’s she going?” Finn asked, exasperated. 

“I don’t know, but let’s find out.” 

Having a Wookiee proved especially useful for clearing a path through a throng of sentients. They had an easier going once they made it to the outdoor courtyard, where they followed the example of those already there by looking up into the sky. 

“What’s that?” Han squinted upwards, trying to make out the red streaks slicing through the sky. The crowd’s speculation swirled around them. 

Finn stepped forward. “The First Order. They’ve done it.” He cursed. 

“Done what?” 

“They’ve destroyed the Republic, and now no one can stop them. Where’s Beebee-Ate?” 

“What do you mean?” Han asked. 

“They have a superweapon and they’re undefeatable!” Finn tried to clamp down the despair in his voice. 

“Superweapon?” Han questioned. 

“Ridiculous.” Maz materialized beside them, causing Finn to jump. “Come with me.” 

“You know where Beebee-Ate is?” Finn demanded, suddenly suspicious of her ability to disappear and reappear randomly. 

“No,” Maz answered. “Come.” 

“Where is he?” Finn repeated urgently. He looked to Han as Maz walked away, ignoring his question. 

Han shrugged. “We better follow her.” 

Finn opened his mouth to protest, but Chewie put a hand on his shoulder and pushed him forward. Finn jerked away, ready to fight, but the Wookiee just tilted his head. 

“Fine,” Finn muttered. “But you all are crazy.” 

Maz took them down some spiraling stairs into a basement. Finn gripped his blaster uneasily, automatically searching for exits. Besides the stairs they’d descended, the only other escape routes were the high windows. He wasn’t even sure he could fit through them if he could somehow manage to get up there. As they walked deeper underground, Chewie put a hand on Finn’s shoulder, causing him to look up. Chewie tilted his head and rumbled, but Finn’s grim expression didn’t change. 

“What are we doing here?” 

“I’ve had this for ages,” Maz said, keying a passcode into a panel in the wall. “Kept it locked away.” A light flashed green and the door slid open to reveal a cluttered storage room. Maz walked straight through the mess to a chest and flipped the lid. When she turned back to the anxious trio behind her, she had something in her small hand. Maz held it out. 

“Where’d you get that?” Han said sharply. Finn was confused, unsure what about the small object in Maz’s hand was so provoking. 

Maz shook her head. “That’s a long story for another time.” 

“Huh.” Han didn’t seem anywhere close to satisfied, but he made no move to take it, crossing his arms. Chewie chuffed, curious. 

“It doesn’t matter now,” Maz continued. “Take it. Find your friend.” 

There was an awkward pause, then Finn realized she was looking at him. “Me?” 

“Yes, you! You’re the closest thing to a friend that silly boy has, and you’re more alike than you know.” 

“Um, thanks?” 

“Take it!” She walked up to him and shoved it in his hand. Finn looked down at the slim metal cylinder. 

“Wait, is - is this a lightsaber?” Finn examined it eagerly, running his fingers over the smooth casing, feeling the engaging mechanism. He’d had training with all types of weapons and forms of combat as a stormtrooper, but he’d never seen a lightsaber except those wielded by the Knights of Ren. 

“Yes. Don’t point that end at your face! Didn’t they teach you anything in the First Order?” 

Finn had only a second to feel offended before they heard a rumble from above – not the murmuring like before, but a vibration through the stone. It came again, along with the distinctive scream of ion engines. 

“Those beasts!” Maz exclaimed. “They’re here!” 

Finn gripped the saber in his hand as they dashed towards the stairs. They had just reached the end of the hallway when they heard the tromp of boots echoing down the passage. Instantly, everyone except Maz had their weapons out and ready for trouble. 

Finn turned to Maz. “Is there another way out?” 

She nodded. “This way.” 

A dim arch proved to be a corridor, not a dead end, and they followed Maz into the tunnel. A few corners, and Finn saw light peering through some flimsy planks of wood thrown up to block off the exit. Shouts and gunfire could be heard from beyond, and then the crackle of a comm just outside. 

“Sir, an entrance,” a voice said from the other side. 

“Break it down,” someone ordered. 

“Can we go back?” Finn hissed. 

Maz shook her head. “This is the only way.” 

“Alright. We can do this.” Finn clipped the lightsaber to his belt and reached for his blaster. 

“Oh no, let’s not make ‘em angry,” Han shoved the blaster down. “Let me talk to them.” 

“Talk to them?” 

They backed away, eyes fixed on the wooden boards that were shuddering under the assault of boots and rifle butts from the other side. 

“Yeah, don’t worry about it,” Han said. 

The planks burst inwards, allowing a squad of stormtroopers to pour into the tunnel. They halted when they saw the motley group waiting. 

“Put those weapons down!” the commanding soldier ordered. Eight blaster rifles were aimed at them and Finn gripped his own weapon tighter, his muscles taut. “You’re under arrest by order of Supreme Leader Snoke!” 

“Smoke?” Han asked confusedly. He glanced back at Chewie. “You ever heard of a Smoke?” 

Finn glanced at Han, but kept his awareness on the enemy. 

“Snoke! Supreme Leader Snoke!” the trooper repeated. 

“What makes him supreme?” Han wondered, settling his hands on his hips. Finn was almost vibrating with tension. 

“Put your weapons down!” The trooper sounded almost frantic. 

“What is – is this something he did?” Han inquired, jerking a thumb at Finn. 

Finn looked at him, flabbergasted. _Is he trying to get me killed? All of us?_

_“_ Is this about the stormtrooper boots?” Han continued, clearly on a roll, just riding this thing till it gave out. 

Finn couldn’t help but shuffle his feet. He hadn’t had time to get new footwear, and the standard-issue boots were fairly new. He wouldn't have wanted to trade them out even if Kylo would’ve let him borrow a spare. 

“Weapons. Down.” 

Han turned and tugged on Finn’s blaster. 

“What - what are you doing?” 

“Give it to me.” 

“What?” 

“Just do it.” 

Finn let him yank it free after a few seconds and Han tossed it to the ground in front of the squad. It wouldn’t have done him much good anyway, considering they were outnumbered and in an enclosed space. Better to wait till the odds were more in their favor. 

“And the other one!” 

“What?” Han said. 

“The hairy one!” 

“Don’t call him that. Chewie, put it down.” 

“Smart, Solo. Real smart,” Finn muttered. 

“And the blaster!” 

“My blaster? It’s broken.” 

“What is wrong with you?” Finn said. 

Han lifted the blaster free from his holster. Finn clenched his jaw, his nostrils flaring as the stormtroopers took a step closer. 

“Alright, just put the blast –” 

The ground above them shook as something heavy thudded down, collapsing the ceiling. There were screams and shouts as stone and dust flew up around them. Finn covered his face with an arm, stumbling back. 

When everything seemed to have settled, Finn looked around. The sound of blasterfire came down to them clearer than before, and he could see sky over the mound of debris where the entrance to the tunnel had once been. 

“Solo?” 

“I’m here.” Han pushed himself away from the wall and coughed. “Chewie? Maz?” 

“We’re fine.” Maz and Chewbacca emerged from where they had fled a few yards back down the tunnel. “Let’s get out of here.” 

They had to move a few chunks of stone to escape from the wreckage. When they stood free, there was nothing but chaos. The castle was gone, except for an enormous heap of rubble. 

“Solo, what do we do?” Finn shouted above the shriek of the TIEs overhead. 

“Fight ‘em off. Come on, Chewie.” 

Han charged off into the fray, sliding down a hill of gravel. Finn looked around, bewildered. 

“Go, Ben and BB-8 need you!” Maz shouted, getting his attention. 

“I need a weapon,” he said, realizing he’d forgotten to look for his blaster after the tunnel collapse. 

“You have one!” Maz plucked the lightsaber from his belt and shoved into his hand. 

Finn took it. It felt too light to do real damage, but he ignited it anyway and it shimmered to life in his hand, casting him in a reassuring blue glow. It felt alive in a way that was different from any other weapon he’d held before, and it filled him with an unusual confidence. 

“Awesome,” Finn whispered. 

He turned and charged towards the nearest white armor he could see, his anger and fear and desperation narrowing down the world to the symbol of his enslavement. They didn’t see him coming until it was almost too late, and Finn swung the lightsaber viciously, swiping at the blaster rifle in the trooper’s hand. He didn’t know who was more shocked when it _just cut the blaster in half_ like it was nothing. Finn almost stumbled into the soldier as his stroke kept going, but he caught himself and swiped again, downing the trooper with a slash through the chest. 

“Traitor!” 

Finn turned and saw a stormtrooper standing a few yards away, watching him. He looked like all the others, white armor now smudged from smoke and dust, standard issue blaster rifle, military stance. But Finn recognized the voice; he would know this stormtrooper anywhere. He raised the lightsaber, the soldier in him knowing he would have to defend himself. 

FN-2199 tossed aside his blaster and unclipped the riot baton at his side, whipping it into active configuration. The ends flared with energy. 

“Nines, we don’t have to do this,” Finn called, the comrade in him not ready to fight just yet. 

FN-2199 didn’t answer, instead charging at Finn with a roar. 

It was the soldier's instinct that saved Finn, his arms swinging upward to block the raging overhead cut. This time he had expected the decreased resistance from the lightsaber blade so he didn’t overbalance like before, but it still felt strange in his hands. He was quickly forced to retreat even though he recognized the pattern of _slash, push, swing up, stab,_ that 2199 was using. He saw it coming but couldn’t block the jab to his ribs because he would have to incapacitate Nines, and the two voices - the soldier and the friend screaming at each other in his head - couldn't make up their minds in time. The hit knocked the wind from his lungs and sent him sprawling backwards across the rubble. 

Finn groaned, blinking up at the blue sky. He heard the buzzing of the riot baton coming closer, but he couldn’t move yet, listening instead to the sound of X-wings rolling over the lake. 

_X-wings?_

"You’re going to die, traitor,” FN-2199 said, standing over him, the sparking baton raised to crush Finn beneath him. 

Finn jolted when 2199 vanished in a shower of pebbles and dirt, the screams and explosion only registering after the fact. An X-wing rocketed past, red plasma firing from all cannons. 

Finn struggled upright and saw a blackened crater several yards away to the right with a cluster of white-shelled corpses around it. He turned and saw FN-2199 behind him, unmoving. 

“Nines!” 

Finn scrambled over to him and turned the stormtrooper over, gagging at the sight. Where the front of the trooper’s mask had been, there was a chunk of bloodied stone lodged in the eyepiece. Finn felt for a pulse, but it was gone. The second in three day cycles.

 _That could’ve been me._

“Hey, Big Deal! You alright?” 

Finn looked up to see Han and Chewbacca coming towards him. Finn could only nod in response. 

“We’ve gotta go.” 

“What?” 

“The Resistance is here.” 

“Here?” 

“The First Order is pulling out.” 

Finn looked around at the rest of the battlefield for the first time in several minutes. The stormtroopers were indeed returning to their transports, and there appeared to be more X-wings than TIEs in the air. _But if they’re giving up..._

_“_ Where’s Beebee-Ate?” Finn demanded. 

“I don’t know. Have you seen Ben?” 

“They must have Beebee-Ate!” 

“You don’t know that. He’s probably still trapped in the castle.” 

“No, no, you don’t know the First Order like I do. They wouldn’t give up so easily.” Finn bounded up the nearest pile of debris and spun in a circle, scanning the area. He searched for any smidgen of orange, but everything was gray or black or white. Finn saw the transports taking off and the familiar dark shuttle preparing to leave with – 

“They have him!” 

“Beebee-Ate?” Han called up to him. 

“No!” Finn dashed off towards the shuttle. “No! Wait! Stop!” 

The dark wraith disappeared on board with its heavy burden, followed by the last stormtroopers on the field. Finn kept shouting, hurdling chunks of rock and swerving around small fires as the shuttle sealed shut, lifting away from the ground. 

“Kylo!” he screamed in desperation.

The shuttle was gone, shrinking into the sky with wings extended. 

“Kriff!” Finn kicked a rock and sent it skittering away. The First Order had won today in every way. He yelled, igniting the saber and slashed at a pillar that was still mostly standing, causing it to crumble to the ground. 

“ _Bwee-oop?”_

Finn whirled. _“_ Beebee-Ate?” he gaped. “Where have you been? I thought the First Order got you.” 

BB-8 whistled a breathless explanation that Finn couldn't understand. 

“Alright, alright. I still don't speak that.” Finn took a breath, coming up with a strategy. “Let’s find Han and get you to the Resistance. They need to know that they’ve taken Kylo.” 

~---~ 

He was being chased. He was running away, but something was squeezing his chest, making it difficult to breathe. 

It was dark, but there were flickers of light that burned his eyes, so he kept them shut tight, preferring to trip and stumble than to have to see what it was that followed him. 

It was closer now, reaching for him. He couldn’t move no matter how hard he tried, straining and whimpering. 

The crackling, buzzing sound was so close now, filling his thoughts until that was all there was. 

And then the sound ceased just as someone touched his arm, gliding a hand over his skin. 

Kylo jerked, his eyes flying open with a gasp. 

It was dark except for the light shining down on him and he blinked. He tried to move, but was halted by the restraints on his wrists and ankles. 

He realized he wasn’t alone. Someone else was there. 

The words tumbled out before he had time to think, to decide maybe to wait and gather his senses, maybe to keep his mouth shut before something he’d regret slipped out. 

“Where am I?” His voice was dry and small. He blinked again, trying to see beyond the small circle of light to the darkness beyond. He heard a rustle of cloth, a creak of leather, and she moved to where he could see the glint of her mask. 

“You’re my guest.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So maybe not as exciting as the last chapter? Yeah sorry. Not really. I love Poe and Finn and Han, and I hope you do too.
> 
> Also, I've got to spread out the good parts, right? Otherwise why would you guys keep reading? Lol
> 
> Be sure to yell at me in a comment or leave a kudos so I know what you think! And hey, share with other Reylos who you think would enjoy this story. The masterpost is [here on tumblr](https://a-nerd-obsessed.tumblr.com/post/180964565357/part-two-of-light-rises-and-darkness-to-meet-it-a).
> 
> Update in two weeks!


	10. Tenth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAVE YOU ALL SEEN THE TRAILER???? IF NOT, WATCH IT NOW [HERE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adzYW5DZoWs). IF SO, WATCH IT AGAIN.
> 
> Also, **trigger warning** for brief mention of suicidal thoughts. If you need to skip this, stop at _"You're so lonely," she said softly._ and skip to _Suddenly he was angry too._
> 
> Thanks to my beta [AngstyWriter](https://angstywriterangst.tumblr.com) for applying her brilliance to edit my writing
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](https://a-nerd-obsessed.tumblr.com)

_You’re my guest_. 

Kylo’s heart raced, pounding violently in his chest. He jerked against the restraints that held him at a reclined angle, but all he succeeded in doing was ensuring dark bruises would form around his wrists and ankles. He noticed immediately that the familiar weight of his weapons was gone. His outer garments had disappeared as well, leaving him in only a thin tunic and trousers. Kylo should have been chilled by the metallic recycled air blowing through the vents into the dim cell, but his body felt as though it was burning up. His skin was slick with sweat as his breath came in shallow puffs, choking back the moan that rose up his throat. 

He couldn’t look at her, instead fixing his eyes on a dark corner as he tried to tamp down his panic. Panic had never helped anyone, and he needed all the control he could muster. He shivered, feeling exposed before her, so he reached for his easiest defense. 

“I’m your guest? Is this the best accommodations the First Order has to offer?” he managed. His words were met with dead silence. His frantic eyes shifted over the interrogation droid docked in the wall, asleep, none of its delicate implements visible. He looked away quickly – 

– right at her. 

That was an accident, but he held himself together enough to pretend it wasn’t. 

“Where are the others? The droid?” he asked. 

“You mean the liars, deceivers, thieves, and traitors you call friends?” Her mechanically distorted voice was even, almost too flat. Still, he could imagine a hint of eagerness in her tone. 

“They’re not –” 

Her gloved fingers spasmed, the leather squeaking. “You’ll be relieved to hear I have no idea.” 

Now that his act of defiance was over, it was too much look at his reflection on her mask. He looked to his side again, trying to regulate his breathing. He failed miserably. 

In the silence, Kylo had a moment to marvel at the effectiveness of the First Order’s insulation as he listened to the blood rushing through his ears. The absence of sound was beyond oppressive. It tore at his nerves, raising prickles all over his skin. Kylo’s only comfort was that the Force was no longer battering at his mind, but some part of him knew he was still under siege. The frontal assault had been suspended in favor of another, more insidious attack. This assault came through the weapon that was physically manifested before him in the Master of the Knights of Ren. One way or another, the Force would have him and the outcome of this moment would direct the course of his fate. 

“You’re still afraid of me,” Kira Ren wondered aloud, almost amused. 

“That’s what happens when you’re being hunted by a creature in a mask,” he responded through gritted teeth. 

Kylo stopped breathing entirely and he thought she did the same. 

_Stars,_ why had he provoked her? She could kill him with a thought, less than that, a whim. 

And maybe that’s what he wanted, an easy out. He had nothing she wanted, nothing the First Order wanted. It would happen soon enough, so together they might as well get it over with. It would be a relief, after all these empty years. And still more than that, an absolution. A reckoning for all the wrongs he had done, all the failures he had allowed. With her as his judge and executioner, she could give him the peace that his heart cried out for. 

Kylo dragged his eyes back to her, trying to goad her into violence with a defiant glare. 

He looked at her fully for the first time, and in another time and place he might have laughed. Kylo’s height and position meant that she was barely eye-level with him, still and small compared to his stature. But the aura of power around her was almost tangible, dripping from the lines of her muscles beneath the dark robes and radiating from the glimmer of her mask under a deep cowl. 

_Creature in a mask_. 

Then she moved. She pushed back the cowl to fall over her shoulders and her long fingers pressed into the temples and jawline of the helmet. Tilting her head forward, she released the mask with a hiss. Straightening to her full height, she pulled it free, releasing a tumble of chestnut waves. 

She slammed the mask down on the table beside her. Kylo flinched as he felt the reverberations through the rig that held him impotent before her. 

Familiar hazel eyes lifted and locked onto his, her skin gleaming pale in the low light. 

It was her. 

Rey. 

_Rey._

Kylo had known it was her, of course. She was the scion of Darkness, the Supreme Leader’s right hand, the heir of the Sith’s legacy. But _Force,_ how he’d hoped and pleaded and argued and convinced and dreamed and denied and begged that it wouldn’t be her. 

_This is all my fault._

Kylo’s eyes stung as he abruptly returned to staring at the corner, but the image of her hard gaze was burned in his vision. 

She looked as she had over four years ago as the Academy burned around them. That same horrible conviction of the Dark glowed in her eyes then as it did now. Yet she was undeniably changed too. 

She stepped closer, and he strangled the sob rising in his throat. The sense of conflict and hesitancy in her that he had always found duplicated in himself was gone. She had fully become who he’d always been afraid of, going somewhere he could not follow. 

This wasn’t Rey. This was Kira Ren. 

_This is all my fault._

“Ben. Look at me.” 

It was the same voice he heard in his memories _–_ in his nightmares and dreams, too. 

Kylo clenched his jaw and swallowed. He could feel his pulse in his fingertips. 

“You don’t need to be afraid.” She stood beside him now, her breath hot in his ear. “The Supreme Leader will be pleased that you’ve come to us at last.” 

“No, I won’t. Kill me.” He meant it as a dare, but it came out like a plea. 

She exhaled, her breath feathering over his cheek. His hair stood on end. 

“You’re still resisting. Why?” 

Kylo pressed his lips together and shut his eyes. _Because kriff this wasn’t supposed to happen kriff it’s my fault I’m sorry I’m sorry –_

It was all wrong, his sense of self-preservation screaming for him to run, to fight, to stop this, but the Force was quiet, not pounding at his mind like it had been, expectant of something else to happen. Kylo felt as though he might suffocate. 

“I’m not giving you anything,” Kylo gritted out. 

“We’ll see.” Kira raised a hand and he flinched, but she didn’t strike him. Instead, the tips of her gloved fingers slid over his neck, slipping in the sweat of his hot skin. He swallowed, feeling his throat push against her light hold. She wasn’t choking him, just holding him in place, but to Kylo it seemed as though her touch was seared into his skin. He began to hyperventilate, his thoughts smearing together as his blood became slightly hypoxic. 

_It’s all my fault._

Kylo startled again when her other hand touched his temple. His eyes flickered up and away from hers, which continued to stare unrelentingly into his. 

“I’m sorry, Ben. This is the simplest way.” 

The Force had been taut and thick around them like a gel, passively smothering him as he struggled to maintain his reason. But when her fingers touched his forehead, her consciousness sliced through his barriers and shields like Mandalorian beskar, slipping into his mind with ease. 

He had never been able to keep her out. 

Kylo gasped as the Force rushedforward to fill the void in his mind, all his defenses breached at last. Rey was there, sifting through his near-delirious, panicked thoughts. He was drowning, but she was efficient and calm. He thrashed as she searched his memories, deepening the bruises around his restraints. Her loose grip on his throat constricted in warning. 

“You cut yourself off from the Force,” she wondered aloud, murmuring in his ear. He turned his face as far away from her as he could even as he felt the questions in her stare. “Why? What could you hope to gain – throwing away your greatest advantage, your legacy?” 

He groaned and coughed, tears rising at the corners of his eyes. Everything was happening at once, _he could feel so much,_ the Force rising in wave after wave to saturate his mind with every sensation and emotion he had forgotten and ignored in the last four years. Yet Rey stood like an anchor in the chaos, a pillar of darkness in his mind that he couldn’t help but throw himself on. 

“Don’t be afraid,” Kira whispered, leaning into him. “I feel it, too.” 

He was vaguely aware of the structure of the cell around them humming as he drowned in the Force, clinging to her presence in his mind as the only hope for his sanity. The tears flowed unchecked, but he was barely sensible of them over _everything else_ that he was feeling now. 

Her hand was still wrapped around his throat, strangely intimate as she held him in place, not with the Force but her own gentle touch. He gasped when she seemed to relent slightly, allowing him a moment to regain a degree of clarity. 

“The map to Skywalker. You’ve _seen_ it.” 

Kylo wheezed in panic. _Where did she find that?_

“Show it to me.” She almost sounded... desperate? Relieved? Gratified? 

“No,” he gasped out, chest heaving with smothered sobs. 

Kylo hadn’t realized she was being clement until she pushed, truly _tore_ into his mind. Before she had been a presence, now she was an invader, battering through the maelstrom of the Force she’d inadvertently unleashed on his psyche. 

Kylo groaned, trying to raise shields, put up blockades, build walls, but she knew him too well, dodging and sidestepping everything he could cobble together in his vain attempt to evade her assault. He tried to keep the map out of her grasp, but she was closing in on him, and it was his own mind, he had nowhere to hide – 

“You’re so lonely,” she said softly. 

He choked on his own saliva, coughing. At least she’d distracted herself, even though it hurt to have her tread there – _why, why there, stars, it hurts._ Kylo shuddered. 

“At night, desperate to sleep **,** imagining...” He stiffened as Kira continued following the same beaten trail his thoughts would wander when he was alone in the dark aboard his ship. He winced when she discovered the hateful, crushing thoughts that grew louder and louder each night in the quiet. 

Kira exhaled. “You imagine... _death_.” 

Kira pulled away, only to grip his chin and wrench his face toward hers. “ _Ben_.” 

Kylo flinched at what he saw there in her eyes. 

“Death. By your hand, by mine,” she fumed. She was blazing with anger, the images that had been his constant for a long time circling through his head and hers as she held his mind in a vice. 

“You believe this is your fault.” Kira said it quietly, but the wrath in her words was almost tangible. “You think all this is because of what you did.” 

If anything, that was not how Kylo had expected her to react if she knew of his torment and self-loathing. Resentment, disappointment, hatred – he had long ago realized he deserved them all. And she was angry, there was no doubt about that, but it wasn’t directed at what he’d done then, that night at the Academy, but at what he had done since. 

Suddenly he was angry too. 

“Get out of my head,” he spat, jerking back so his skull hit the restraining rig with a thud, but he didn’t notice the resulting spike of pain. 

Kira pushed harder against his mind, her rage lending her strength. 

But now he was angry, and he had everything crashing through his mind, a torrent of Force that had been held back for far too long. 

They struggled, immobilized as the battle raged between their wills. Kylo leaned forward against the restraints, panting. Her hand was extended as though to hold him back, ward him off, but it was building from deep within, so much of everything he felt rising up all at once. He released a yell as he fought off her telepathic hold with a savage shove. 

And fell into her mind. 

Kylo both saw and felt their shared realization as their positions switched. Her eyes widened in surprise as he felt the shock shudder through her consciousness. 

He was immersed in her. It was still so much, but it was a whole different dimension of overwhelming. It felt both familiar and hostile to be enveloped in who she was, and it was new pain so see how much the darkness covered everything. 

He hadn’t meant to, but he was there now. And he was enraged and bitter, so he snagged at the first thing that presented itself, the fear that seemed to hover over her mind like a fog. 

“You.” 

Their eyes were locked, unable to break away. 

“You’re afraid. That you have _never had a choice._ Your parents. Skywalker. Snoke. Me. We all chose for you.” 

Kira jerked as though she had been slapped. Kylo fell back, breathing hard, defiant, triumphant. 

It took her a few seconds to collect herself, but then Kira came at him, scorned and furious. Kylo braced himself for the blow. 

Only for her to walk by him. Her mask flew from the table into her waiting hand as a door somewhere behind him hissed open and shut with vehemence, leaving him alone, trembling and sweating, to deal with the aftermath of their struggle. 

~---~ 

Kira Ren halted in the private antechamber, feeling the immensity of the anger coursing through her unchecked. 

She should have felt powerful. Instead she felt weakened. 

Kira turned to the terminal in the wall, directing that the prisoner be sedated. She watched until his vital signs calmed under the influence of the drug, then efficiently gathered up her hair in a low bun before replacing the helmet on her head and pulling up the cowl. 

Slamming the release for the door from the antechamber to the corridor beyond, she stalked out in fury. 

Hux jumped, although Kira was too preoccupied to revel in his discomfort. Silyana, of course, didn’t flinch, instead peeling herself off the wall she’d been slumped against as she watched Hux nearly gnaw his tongue to a bloody pulp from impatience. 

“Well?” Hux demanded, his mouth tight. 

“He’s seen the map,” Kira answered, her voice strangely monotone even through the mask’s vocoder. Silyana was quiet, her eyes regarding her master keenly. Hux, on the other hand, made no effort to conceal his curiosity. 

“And? Where is Skywalker? What about the droid?” 

“This doesn’t concern you,” Kira replied, already turning away. “The Supreme Leader is the only one who needs to know Skywalker’s location.” 

“Then what about the droid?” Hux persisted, stepping around so she couldn’t avoid him, forcing her to stop. “If the Resistance has recovered it, then they also know Skywalker’s location. Give me the coordinates so we can retrieve him before they do.” 

“It’s a fragment,” Kira said dismissively. “They won’t have the complete chart.” 

“How can you be sure?” 

The lights in the corridor flickered. Hux suddenly felt that his collar was too hot as he stared into the expressionless mask fixed on him. The hallway seemed to shrink, the only sound he could hear in was Silyana behind him, who let out a low chuckle in the deathly quiet. 

“This matter,” Kira hissed, stepping forward, “is between the Supreme Leader and myself.” 

Hux had to move back to avoid being checked into the wall as she stalked past him. 

“Don’t interfere with the prisoner,” Kira commanded before she swept around the corner. 

“I’d listen to her,” Silyana mused from just beside him, patting Hux on the shoulder. He jerked away. She cocked her head, a sly smile pulling on her lips. “I know you think you can get away with anything if you’re smart about it, but not this time.” 

Hux ground his teeth. “What concerns the Supreme Leader concerns me.” 

“You’re so cute.” Silyana reached up as if to tap his cheek, but he snagged her wrist with aristocratic fingers before she could. She lifted an eyebrow and he released his grip as though she was a live wire, clenching his trembling fist at his side. 

“I know there’s more to this than the map to Skywalker,” he said in a low voice. “If I don’t receive answers soon, I will apply my resources to discover them in spite of your master.” 

Silyana flashed him a smile. “Don’t go in that cell. It’s for your own good.” She turned and strode after Kira. 

Hux stood with both hands clasped behind his back, knuckles white as he sneered after her. She didn’t look back, taking long, lazy strides around the corner to catch up with the Master of the Knights of Ren. 

After he had given her time to put some good distance between them, he advanced on the sealed cell and opened the antechamber door. 

~---~ 

Kira had known Silyana would follow behind, but she hadn’t expected her second to yank her into an alcove for sanitation access and slam her against the wall. 

“What was that?” Silyana demanded, her sharp blue eyes almost icy. 

Kira shoved her off, unconcerned that Silyana looked positively murderous. 

“What?” she asked. “Hux was being an overreaching fool.” 

“Tell me something new,” Silyana snapped. “What about you? You let him get to you.” 

Kira let out her breath in a hiss. 

Silyana sighed. “What did Ben say?” 

“He calls himself Kylo now.” 

Silyana just barely resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “What did you find?” 

“He’s seen the map. That’s all that Hux needs.” 

“Fine,” Silyana snipped. “Don’t tell me. That’s your problem. But you need to get a handle on yourself before you go talk to Snoke about it.” 

“The Supreme Leader is wise.” 

“Yeah, wise enough to exploit your weakness.” 

“He is not my _weakness_.” 

“If it makes you feel better, the weakness thing is mutual.” 

Kira clenched her fists. “I don’t need your snark, Silyana.” 

Silyana took another step back and waved a hand. “Right. Sorry. Just be careful with your next moves.” Her eyes grew distant. “I felt something, just now... an awakening.” 

Kira straightened. She had felt it too, more profoundly than Silyana could imagine. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG y'all, I'm going to be straight with you, I was literally shaking with adrenaline when I saw that teaser trailer on Friday. I am so hyped, and I have so many hopes and theories for **THE RISE OF SKYWALKER**!!! If you want to scream about it with me, hit me up on [tumblr](https://a-nerd-obsessed.tumblr.com)!
> 
> And hey, you can let me know what you think of this chapter too! Leave a comment and kudos below to tell me your thoughts. 
> 
> May the Force with you!


	11. Eleventh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to [AngstyWriter](https://angstywriterangst.tumblr.com) for being merciful and still beta'ing this chapter even though I sent it over really really late because I'm a mess :)
> 
> If you want to see more of my (fandom) mess, find me on [tumblr](https://a-nerd-obsessed.tumblr.com)

The sky over Takodana was still as blue and cloudless as it had been when they’d arrived on the  _ Nowhere _ only a few hours ago, almost like the First Order had never been there. But the haze of dust that hung in the air came from castle below that was nothing more than a charred, crumbling ruin, accented with spurts of flame and clumps of corpses, civilian and stormtrooper alike.

Finn felt like he was spinning in circles. 

So much had happened since the Resistance landed on the battlefield. Finn had tried to tell Han what had happened to his son, but the old smuggler seemed a little dazed. Granted, Finn was practically incoherent, thinking about what would happen to Kylo now that he had been taken by the Knights of Ren. It wouldn’t be like Poe’s capture and interrogation – this time there was no Finn to come along and break him out. Kylo was as good as dead. 

And that was before Finn remembered that Kylo had seen the map. 

Finn’s heart sunk. It wasn’t just the standard First Order interrogation Kylo would undergo but the expert brutality of the Knights of Ren. During his life as a stormtrooper, Finn had never been able to separate fact from fiction about their capabilities. Rumor said they could steal your dreams and hopes with a look, robbing you of your sanity. They could set your limbs on fire with a touch, planting a virus of agony in your mind. They could stop your heart with a thought, sucking the life energy from your body. 

He had only seen the Knights of Ren in action during that nightmarish bloodbath at Tuanul. While he hadn’t witnessed demonstrations of the terrible things the tales said they could do, the malevolent miasma surrounding them was enough to persuade him that they could be true. And when Kira Ren had turned to him, had  _ seen  _ him, he felt exposed to the marrow in his bones. 

Kylo was worse than dead. 

Han seemed to be shell-shocked. Finn tried to urge him back to the  _ Falcon,  _ thinking maybe they could pursue the First Order before they rejoined the  _ Finalizer, _ but Han just shook his head and walked away. 

“Han?” Finn demanded.Then turning to Chewbacca said, “What’s wrong with him?” The old Wookiee tilted his head and put an overlarge hand on Finn’s shoulder, groaning words that Finn didn’t understand which only increased his frustration. 

“Chewbacca, we have to help Kylo – Ben – whatever!” 

Chewie just sighed and followed after Han, leaving Finn to gape at their backs. 

“Doesn’t anybody care?” Finn exclaimed. 

At his side, BB-8 squealed loudly, clearly trying to convince Finn of something given his condescending tone. 

“Droid!” Finn said exasperatedly. “I still don’t speak that.” 

BB-8 swiveled in a circle with a shake of his head, rolling off after the others. Finn had no choice but to follow. 

Finn was distracted from his grumblings by a Resistance transport that descended on the border of the woods. Han and Chewie seemed to be expecting it, standing among the tumbled ruins a few meters back as the transport settled down, kicking up dust and pebbles as its thrusters pushed back. 

Finn came up beside the others, his face set grimly. Despite his newfound liberty, he had grown up in a system that didn’t usually tell him what was happening, but expected him to follow willingly anyway. He could bite his tongue for a few minutes, trusting that Han wasn’t giving up on his son. Not that Finn had any experience with that particular bond, but he had seen enough of Kylo’s behavior around his father to know that there was no way you could have that kind of antagonism without it being a strong one. Scars always hurt more the greater you cared for someone. Finn thought of Nines and his heart twinged with grief. 

The transport’s engines began a stasis cycle, conserving energy but ready to lift off at any moment. The door fell open and several Resistance fighters burst out, taking charge of the battlefield with efficiency. They ignored the odd group who stood waiting for them, apparently not classifying them as the enemy. 

A small-statured woman followed just behind them, her large brown eyes scanning the destruction before her with resignation until they lit on Han. Her expression softened as she stared at him. The old smuggler looked the most uncomfortable Finn had ever seen him, settling his hands on his belt and straightening his posture. The woman walked toward them before halting a few meters away. 

Han cleared his throat. “You, uh, you changed your hair.” 

The woman gave him a wry look, her eyebrow quirking slightly as she eyed his nervous posture. Finn had no context or awareness of who this woman was, but he instantly felt respect for anyone who was as exasperated with Han’s inexplicable behavior as he was. 

“Hey.” 

Finn jumped, noticing the blonde woman with her hair in two buns atop her head who had come beside him. 

“What’s your name?” she asked, hefting up a datapad. 

“Uh, me?” 

She gave him a nearly identical look to what Han had just received, lifting her eyebrows. 

“Finn. The name’s Finn,” he said hastily. 

“Oh!” She flashed a brief smile. “So you’re Finn. I’m Lieutenant Connix.” 

Finn didn’t know how to reply, cutting off the reflexive salute that seemed likely inappropriate. 

She continued unawares, ending his dilemma. “It’s a relief that we found you. We thought you were with Captain Solo, but we weren’t sure.” 

“We?” Finn wondered. 

“The Resistance Command. We lost track of you after Jakku. Our contact here on Takodana only mentioned Beebee-Ate and Captain Solo.” 

“Oh.” 

The droid in question noticed who Finn was talking to and zipped over from his position by Chewie’s leg, already spewing a shrill string of bleeps and whistles. 

Connix actually grinned. “Slow down, Beebee. You have a sharp eye. Yeah, that was  _ Black One.” _

BB-8 let out a squeal of excitement, almost rattling with eagerness, just as a Resistance soldier came up and spoke quietly to Connix. She nodded briefly, then turned back to Finn and BB-8. 

“Alright, we’re done here. If you’d like to ride with us back to the base, you’re welcome to.” 

Finn glanced over toward Han, who was – just staring at that woman? 

Finn looked at her more closely. She was dressed in sturdy and practical clothes, and her hair was more gray than brown, but she seemed to stand with confidence even as he noticed the small signs of fatigue that hung about her. 

She and Han were locked in each other’s gaze, looking like they were lost in their own world. They hadn’t moved since they’d first seen each other, but despite the distance between them, they looked right together. Connix seemed to agree, based on the wistful expression on her face. 

“Uh, I think I’ll stay with Han.” 

Connix glanced at Finn. “He’ll be coming to the base, too.” 

“Well, I’ll just catch a ride with him, then,” Finn declined. He needed time to get his bearings – bearings he had lost four days ago when he’d decided not to fire on the villagers in Tuanul and never gotten back. 

“Alright, Finn,” Connix said. “We’ll see you there. We have a lot more to discuss.” 

He wasn’t sure if he should be worried about that or not. “Uh, sure.” 

“Come on, Beebee.” Connix boarded the transport, followed by the droid who was practically quivering in excitement. 

“Bye!” Finn called to the departing droid before he could stop himself. He winced and looked back to Han and Chewbacca, who waved him over. 

Han still seemed dazed as he watched the woman follow the others onto the transport. But he shook himself and said, “Come on, kid. Let’s get to the  _ Falcon _ .” 

~---~

Kylo was in agony. 

When she’d left, he’d been devastated by what had occurred between them – the angry words, the heated feelings, the burning connection – and he hadn’t known what to do. 

But then the needle had pricked his skin, seeking a vein, and he’d quickly felt the effect of the heavy sedative wash over him. Of course she wouldn’t leave him awake – she anticipated he would use his power to escape as soon as she was gone. 

But Ben wasn’t in control of his power. The Force was still overwhelming him, crashing into him over and over again with wave after relentless wave of sensation and feeling and emotion. He was trapped in his own mind as the sedative weighed down his limbs, sealing his eyelids shut while his thoughts continued their panicked cascade. 

It was a new torture, to be so aware of everything yet so cut off from his environment. 

Kylo didn’t immediately realize that there was someone with him, but when he recognized the distinct sense of a sentient close by, it was unmistakable. He focused in on it, hoping to anchor himself like he had with  _ her _ , if only for a brief respite from the deluge of everything else. 

That wouldn’t be possible, however. Once he felt the oily cunning and serrated bitterness in his mind, Kylo knew he couldn’t trust him. 

“She didn’t even touch you.” 

Kylo heard the words as if they were spoken through several layers of durafiber yet somehow they also sounded crystal clear. 

A dry chuckle. “With all the screaming, I would have expected a little more blood and piss.” 

Kylo struggled to concentrate, focusing his awareness on his immediate surroundings.  _ Why is it so hard? _

“Who are you?” 

Kylo sensed the man moving forward, closer to where his body lay limp and helpless in the thrall of the drug being flushed through his system. 

“I need answers,” the man muttered under his breath. 

There was silence, then a few taps and clicks on the side of the room. Kylo felt the needle withdraw, tugging on his skin. 

It seemed an eternity before he could feel with his natural senses rather than his perception through the Force. But even as his motor ability returned, his mental acuity began to disintegrate as his focus crumbled. His heart rate picked up, thrumming under his skin. Kylo peeled his eyelids open enough to see a blurry vision of a pale man in a long coat, hands behind his back. 

“Welcome back.” The man’s voice was thin and abrupt. 

Kylo blinked slowly, trying to resolve the man’s image into something more defined, but his eyes refused to cooperate. 

“It seems as though in your first round of questioning you were let off easy. Would you mind telling me why?” 

Kylo’s tongue felt dead in his mouth, unresponsive, just like his limbs. It would have been useless to try to answer even if he wanted to. Instead, he turned his face away, trying to head off his growing panic and the returning sensation of drowning as the Force thickened around him again, smothering his mind. 

“So reticent,” the man mused. “Much like her. Is that a clue?” 

Kylo began to pant, flexing his fingers as they awoke. He shot a glance at the man out of the corner of his eye, his sight starting to sharpen. He could recognize him now. It was Hux, the redheaded First Order general he had been contracted to take out a few years ago. Hopefully Hux hadn’t been made aware of that particular plot, failed or no. That had been a tricky mess to get out of when Dameron had derailed his attempt on Hux’s life. Now it looked like Dameron’s karking interference had brought him full circle. 

“While I’m a patient man,” Hux said, “our time is limited.” 

“I have nothing to say to you,” Kylo managed, slurring despite his best effort. 

“I doubt that very much.” 

“I’m nothing,” Kylo choked out. He felt Hux’s thin smile. 

“That’s true,” the general agreed. “But not to her. You have something that she wants, and not just the map to Skywalker.” 

Kylo felt a flash of anger, remembering what she had wanted, no, expected from him. 

“Hmm, yes. I know you gave her the map. That’s not why I’m here.” Hux took a step closer. “Tell me who she is.” 

“No.” 

All of Kylo’s muscles contracted at once as the electricity jolted through his system. He hadn’t been looking at Hux to see when he triggered anything, so Kylo was caught unawares as the current coursed through his body. Kylo’s jaw involuntarily locked and he bit through his tongue. Blood flooded his mouth with a salty tang, but it was lost under the roar of fragmented pain and chaos. It wasn’t Kylo anymore, just a blinding world of agony, and he couldn’t even scream. He was pure torment, bursting out of himself in an explosion.

As abruptly as it started, it ended. Kylo collapsed, tumbling to the ground in a groaning heap. It was only when his thoughts became cohesive that he realized he shouldn’t have been able to fall to the ground if he was still in the restraining rig. 

Kylo pushed himself up to his hands and knees, spitting blood on the floor. He raised his head and took in the cell, which was significantly worse off than he remembered. 

The walls were warped, the interrogation rack twisted and broken, and Hux was lying on the floor, unmoving. Kylo groaned as his muscles spasmed.

_ What the - _

Kylo gasped, feeling the Force swell up through him as the walls began to creak and shiver. He wrestled it down, blood dripping from his clenched teeth, but it answered to him now, corralled by the physical pain he felt. 

He could control it. 

Maybe not control it, but at least contain it, using the pain in his throbbing tongue and aching bones to focus his efforts. It wasn’t ideal, but he would take control in any form he could get. 

Kylo dragged himself to his feet, taking a moment to find his balance. He wasn’t sure what to do next, but he knew he shouldn’t wait for Hux to wake up. The man seemed like the type to hold grudges for a very long time. 

He stumbled to the door, his uncooperative body thudding against the durasteel. He froze, listening for sounds of alarm on the other side, but there was nothing. Steeling himself, he slammed a hand against the panel and the door hissed open, revealing an empty antechamber. He examined the terminal, noting the angry notifications regarding the system failures he’d caused with his Force outburst that knocked Hux unconscious. A small toggle in the corner caught his attention, and he flipped it. 

With a creak, a panel on the opposite wall popped open, sliding out to reveal a drawer with all his missing clothing. Quickly, he stripped out of his sweaty, stained undergarments and pulled on the overshirt and stiff pants, followed by socks and boots. His jacket was last, completing his outfit. The weapons were still absent, but it didn’t matter because he couldn’t even remember what he’d been carrying when she had taken him. He assumed the blaster was lying under a spring of fronds in the forest on Takodana. Anyway, he had the Force again, sort of, reluctantly. 

He had to move. Someone would be coming to see what had caused the failures in the cell – maybe even Kira Ren. That was something he couldn’t handle. 

Kylo opened the door to the hallway, ready to run for it if necessary, or at least give his best attempt at running. 

Mercifully, the corridor was empty. He lurched forward, glancing up and down the length of the hall. Nothing in either direction seemed to promise an easy escape route, so he headed towards the nearest intersection. 

Unlike Dameron, he had no Finn to help him. But also unlike Dameron, Kylo had something he didn’t, but it was much more likely to be a hindrance than a help, unlike Finn. 

Kylo had the Force again. Or it had him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello fine people! 
> 
> Sorry this was a little shorter, but this was all I could manage because my life is a literal disaster zone of procrastination and anxiety. But the school year's almost over for me, so here's hoping I can give you more next time. Also, I plan on finishing part two, aka The Force Awakens remix, within four chapters. 
> 
> Leave a comment and kudos to let me know what you think! Update in two weeks!


	12. Twelfth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to [AngstyWriter](https://angstywriterangst.tumblr.com) for being the best beta and fellow nerd in the Reylo fandom (and that's my totally unbiased opinion)
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](Https://a-nerd-obsessed.tumblr.com)

Kira felt the dizziness and nausea rise as she showed the memory of Kylo’s interrogation to her master, the sensation of his thought bent towards her mind like nails scraping over stone. 

It wasn’t the words that she shared, and not the sharpest emotions, but the images and the shape of their feelings as she relived that moment as if in a dream. 

Snoke’s presence in her mind was numbing, like talons gripping too tight until all feeling had been leached out of her thoughts. 

She hissed softly in pain when he removed himself, pulling back until all that remained of his presence was the towering hologram that cast her in a ghastly blue light. 

Kira Ren knelt on the hard floor before her master, who regarded her with cold, dead eyes. Her own eyes were fixed on the floor, unmoving, her helmet tucked stiffly into the crook of her elbow. 

Then the Supreme Leader began to chuckle, resonating throughout the vast audience chamber as a low rumble. Kira seemed unphased, except for the wrinkle that formed between her brows. After a moment he settled back, submitting her to his intense scrutiny once more. She didn’t dare look up to see what he found so humorous in her. 

“Ben Solo, the prodigal son, resisted you,” Snoke stated, amusement still lingering in his tone. 

“You know him to be strong in the Force,” Kira defended. Her knees were beginning to ache. “He is the heir of the Skywalker bloodline, Supreme Leader. He is stronger than he or I could have known.” 

Snoke was unimpressed. “You told me he had cut himself off from the Force, and yet you were still unable to overpower him. Unless,” Snoke leaned forward so that his gigantic hologram shimmered in the smoky air, “you would lie to me about this?” 

“No, Supreme Leader,” Kira gritted out. “You know my mind. I cannot lie to you.” 

“But would you?” he mused. 

Kira felt her heart constrict. 

“Despite everything I have given you, you still fail to carry out the most simple of tasks.” 

Her hands trembled. “I can still turn him to our side,” she pleaded. “I just need your guidance.” 

“Yet you, Master of the Knights of Ren, were overthrown by a lost little boy.” 

Kira glared at her master then, her eyes burning. “You know he is more than that.” 

“Not if you were everything I had hoped. You, my most promising apprentice of Darkness. You were my most perfect weapon. And yet it seems I chose wrongly. You _failed.”_

Kira was speechless. She had come to humble herself and seek advice, and instead she was receiving a condemnation. 

“And the droid?” 

Kira was taken aback by his abrupt change of topic. “I’m sorry, Master, the what –” 

“Ren no longer believed the droid to be valuable to us.” 

Kira flinched when Hux’s voice rang out from behind, catching her off-guard. Still, she didn’t look at the general as he approached. She quickly rose to stand when he halted at her side. 

Hux continued, his tone disparaging. “She believed that the bounty hunter was all that we needed. As a result, the droid has most likely been returned to the hands of the enemy. They may have the map already.” 

Kira was furious. If they were anywhere else, Hux would have a lightsaber buried in his gut. But with Snoke glaring down at her and Hux smug at her side, she had no grounds to act. 

She wished to crush him, grind him to dust with her boot and scatter his remains in the void of space. But first, she would make him feel such pains as he could only wonder at. 

Snoke’s voice broke into her dark reveries. “It appears, General, that you are in need of a medical droid.” 

Kira turned to look at Hux, noticing the unusually stiff way he held his body, more from strain than his typical arrogant posture. And more obvious was the fresh, darkening bruise on his forehead. His lips tightened as she stared, refusing to meet her eyes even to smirk. Something was off. 

“What did you do?” she demanded, taking a step towards him. 

“You were withholding essential information –” 

“What did you _do?”_

He sneered down at her. “I questioned the prisoner.” 

Her hand thrust out, channeling energy to fling him back several meters. He flew through the air, landing on his back to skid across the slick floor. Kira followed, the sputtering red blade igniting that appeared in her grip as she stormed towards him. This would be the very last time he attempted to undermine her authority, damn the consequences. 

She raised the lightsaber above her head, bathing them both in crimson light, a foretelling of the blood about to be spilled. Her arms swung downwards, just as she saw the short vibroblade glinting in Hux’s grasp. 

“ _Ren._ ” 

The Supreme Leader’s roar filled the massive chamber, rattling the structure to its foundation. Kira was thrown back, her lightsaber jolting from her hand to spin away. Breathless, she fought to rise, but found that she was pinned to the floor by an invisible power. Despite knowing her master had reached across light-years to intervene, she struggled for a moment, her hatred still raging violently against Hux. 

“Where is the prisoner now?” Snoke asked, his voice deadly, tired of their games. 

No one answered, but Kira heard Hux let out a gasp and realized he must be similarly restrained. 

“ _Where_ is the prisoner?” 

“The – the prisoner escaped, Supreme Leader,” Hux replied, his words carrying a hint of a tremble. 

Kira turned her head to the side, trying to steady her breathing. 

“ _Escaped_.” 

“Yes, Supreme Leader. But he cannot leave the base without being discovered.” 

The silence grew thick, like the air before a thunderstorm. Kira tensed, waiting for lightning to strike. 

“The Resistance must be destroyed before they get to Skywalker.” 

“We have their location. We tracked their reconnaissance ship to the Ileenium system,” Hux volunteered. 

Kira felt the unseen old on her tighten for a second before she was finally released. She scrambled upright, resting on one knee, her head bowed. Her hair fell around her face, hiding her expression as she tried to compose herself. 

“Good,” Snoke said to Hux, who had risen shakily to his feet. “Then we will crush them once and for all. Begin the search for the prisoner. Prepare the weapon.” 

“Yes, Supreme Leader.” Hux raised his chin in acknowledgement before turning to Kira with pure hatred in his eyes. She returned his glare with mutual feeling as he spun on his heel and stalked from the chamber. 

When he was gone, the Supreme Leader spoke to Kira, a discomfiting intimacy and complete disregard of what had just occurred in his tone. 

“There’s been an awakening. Have you felt it?” 

“Yes.” 

“There’s something more. You have not entirely purged your old self, your _weakness,_ from your mind.” 

“My old life means nothing to me.” 

“Your failure with Ben Solo is proof otherwise. Even you, Master of the Knights of Ren, have never faced such a test.” 

Kira turned her face up to Snoke’s image. “Supreme Leader. I can get the map from him. Let me find him.” 

The Supreme Leader contemplated her, his lip curling. “If what you say about Ben Solo is true, _bring him to me_.” 

His words echoed into nothing as the holoimage faded away. Kira waited until the holoprojectors had gone dark before summoning her lightsaber into her hand and rising to her feet. 

If no one was there to hear her scream of rage and anguish, did she really scream at all? 

~---~ 

When the _Falcon_ dropped out of hyperspace above the planet of D’Qar, all Finn could think about was food. 

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had something to eat, a real meal. He’d managed to snag a few morsels at Maz’s castle, before the whole place had been blown to smithereens. But that hadn’t really counted for anything. Before that, he had no idea. 

He’d been able to catch some much-needed sleep during their jumps through hyperspace, but he had always felt too on edge to sit down and force some nourishment down his throat. 

When the First Order is on your tail, little things like food tend to get pushed to the wayside. 

Finn had woken from one of those quick naps as the _Falcon_ plunged into planetary gravity, the faint rattle of the ship’s hull pushing through the troposphere jarring him from sleep. That’s when he noticed the hunger writhing in his stomach like an angry little rathtar. Finn groaned, scrubbing a hand over his face, before pushing himself up on the curved lounge seat, the blanket crumpling to the floor. His neck and shoulders twinged, unhappy with the uncomfortable angle forced on them by the seatback. When he tried to stretch out the knots in his muscles, his elbow bumped the dejarik console so that it flickered to life with a squawk. Finn startled and hurried to shut it off before anyone noticed. It quickly powered down and no one came in the lounge to admonish him for messing around, so he took a few more moments to gather himself. 

With a sigh, he rose to his feet and trundled towards the cockpit where he could hear the quiet murmur of voices. Whatever conversation had been happening ended when he entered the small space. 

“Where are we?” Finn asked, squinting out through the forward viewport to the mossy green planet before them. 

“D’Qar, apparently,” Han answered, distracted as he hunched over the control panel, fiddling with different switches and knobs. Chewbacca seemed to be the one actually piloting the ship, focused on bringing them to the surface alongside the squadron of X-wings and the transport swooping downwards with them. 

Finn shut his mouth and wondered why he bothered asking when locations meant close to nothing to him – they could be in the Inner Rim or Wild Space and he wouldn’t have a clue. In the First Order Stormtrooper program, navigation studies were low on the list of priorities. It didn’t matter where they were, just that the stormtroopers could tackle and execute their orders no matter the environment. 

Finn’s stomach decided to gurgle obnoxiously just then. Chewbacca threw Finn a glance over his shoulder. 

“Sorry,” Finn said. “Is there something I could eat?” 

“Check the galley,” Han grumbled. 

“Okay, thanks,” Finn said, even though he didn’t know where the galley was. It was a small freighter, so it couldn’t be that hard to find. He shuffled away, still trying to work the stiffness from his muscles. It didn’t take long for him to find a place that appeared designed to store food, but anything he could find seemed distinctly inedible. 

“Is there anything to eat in this place?” Finn wondered aloud in frustration. 

His stomach grumbled again, but he wasn’t quite desperate enough yet to brave the suspicious options he’d found. Besides, there was a good chance that the Resistance would have some decent ration packs that he could have. At least, he hoped so. Besides being the target of several of the training simulations he had run, he didn’t have a good idea of what the Resistance was or how they were organized. The sims had made them seem intelligent enough, but battle tactics was only one aspect of a military organization. 

Defeated by the lack of real food on board, Finn returned to the cockpit in time to see the _Falcon_ come in for a landing.Once again his angry stomach was overruled by current events. 

The Resistance’s headquarters appeared as a series of hangars half-underground, covered in grassy lawns that rolled away into the fading hills beyond. Han and Chewbacca were too absorbed in the landing process to notice Finn’s return. 

As soon as the _Falcon_ was resting on the ground, Finn hurried to disembark, jogging onto the central concourse. Humid air hit his face and he stared about him, bewildered. He realized he wasn’t sure where to go. 

Compared to any First Order facility he had been in, this place seemed like a disaster zone. There were no clear markings or signage to direct personnel. Mechanics and pilots and officers were jogging in every direction as the squadron landed in whatever space could be made into a landing pad out on the open. The air was filled with a babble of voices and engines and tools, all of which made Finn come to an abrupt halt. 

In a sudden realization, Finn missed his helmet. It would filter and concentrate the noise and sights he encountered, picking up on what was important and directing him towards it, and the built-in comm would relay all instructions that pertained to him so he never had to doubt his goals. Now he had choices to make. 

Luckily, BB-8 appeared just then. The Resistance transport had landed next to the _Falcon,_ allowing BB-8 to come barreling up from behind Finn with an ecstatic shriek. 

Finn flinched away as the droid careened past. “Watch it, Beebee!” he hollered after him. But BB-8 paid no mind as he approached one of the X-wings that had its canopy open, allowing the pilot to climb down the side. Finn blinked a few times, sure his eyes were playing tricks on him. 

“Beebee-Ate, my buddy!” Poe Dameron exclaimed, jumping the last meter to the ground. “Oh, it’s so good to see you!” 

BB-8 chirped excitedly as Poe knelt down to his level and rubbed the chirping droid’s round body with boisterous affection. Finn began to walk towards them dazedly. 

“You say Finn saved you?” Poe asked. “Where is he?” 

BB-8 swiveled his head to look, and Finn halted again a few meters away, unsure. “Poe Dameron? You’re alive?” 

Poe had no such doubts. He lunged to his feet and launched himself at Finn, pulling the stunned ex-stormtrooper into a tight hug. “So are you! It’s so good to see you! Kriff! What happened? I woke up on Jakku at night, with no ship, no you, no nothing! BB-8 says you saved him. Wait, is this my jacket?” Poe pulled away to examine Finn’s outerwear more closely. 

Finn glanced down at himself. “Oh, uh, yeah, here –” He started to tug off the worn leather flight jacket, but Poe stopped him. 

“Nah, keep it. It suits you.” 

“Oh.” Finn shrugged it back on slowly, still in shock. “How’d you get out?” 

“Luck, really. It was dark, and I’m not really familiar with the constellations on Jakku, so I just picked a direction and headed off. Around dawn I found this road and started walking along it, made friends with one of the locals and helped him out a bit, and he took me to Niima Outpost where I hitched a ride.” 

Finn raised his eyebrows. Poe told his story as if he had merely gone for a walk in the desert for fun. 

“But, seriously, you completed my mission, Finn! I just knew it – you’re a good man,” Poe concluded, beaming. 

Finn broke into Poe’s monologue, finally remembering why he was here. “No, no, it wasn’t just me that saved BB-8. It was Kylo.” 

“Oh, yeah, where is he? I haven’t seen him yet.” Poe looked around as though he might see him appear, too. 

“Kylo? No, he, he got taken. By the First Order.” 

“What?” Poe looked aghast. “You better start from the beginning.” 

Finn proceeded to tell everything that had happened since he woke up from the crash, from escaping the First Order at Niima Outpost, to meeting up with Han on Nar Shaada and Kylo’s capture on Takodana. Finn was sure he wasn’t making sense half the time, but Poe’s attention never wavered. When Finn had finished, Poe had a deep frown. 

“So they took Kylo? You’re sure of it?” 

Finn nodded. “I’m sure.” 

“And he saw the map?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Chuba,” Poe said, running a hand through his slightly sweaty curls. “Once they get that from him, they’ll know where Skywalker is, and then they’ll kill Kylo.” 

“Yes, they probably already have it. With the Knights of Ren, they can get you to say anything, whether you want to or not,” Finn said. 

“You don’t even have to say it,” Poe said with a grimace. He tapped his head. “They just have to see it in your mind – as easy as that.” 

Finn’s face was similarly severe. “That’s what I’ve been trying to warn everyone, but they don’t seem to be doing much about it.” 

“Not much we can do, not until we get more information.” 

“I’ve been there, on Starkiller Base. My unit was stationed there for several months before we were assigned to the _Finalizer_. I’ll tell you whatever I know that can help,” Finn volunteered without a thought. 

Poe clapped him on the shoulder. “I was hoping you’d say that. Come on, let’s -” 

A long, low growl interrupted Poe, and both men startled. Finn gripped his middle, heat rising to his cheeks, as Poe recognized the source of the sound. 

“What was that?” Poe asked with a grin. 

“Uh, do you have anything to eat?” 

Poe laughed. “Sure, let’s get you something to eat, and then we’ll get you to the General.” 

After a short detour through the canteen, Poe lead Finn down a long flight of stairs into a dank bunker that was the Resistance headquarters. Finn would have been more shocked at the quality of the facility if he hadn’t been absorbed with shoving a handful of dried protein into his mouth. 

The command was a long low room crowded with holotables and tactical displays and officers of varying rank scurrying around on urgent business. The air was stale and musty with moats of dust floating in the air, and the walls were covered with some kind of vines or roots. To Finn’s eyes, it seemed like total chaos. Still, the chaos seemed to be centered around the woman he recognized from Takodana, who he now realized must be the general. She was standing at the central holo-display, talking to Connix. Poe didn’t pause, walking straight towards the General. 

“It’ll take some time to know who all was on Hosnia when it happened,” Connix was saying. “Reports are still coming in, but we have been able to confirm that Kor was there.” 

The general gripped the edge of the circular holotable and closed her eyes for a moment. “I sent her on a fool’s errand,” she said with a sigh, her shoulders slumping. “The Senate wouldn’t have listened to Kor anyway.” 

“It’s not your fault,” Connix said. 

“Isn’t it, though?” the woman replied, then shook her head. “It doesn’t make a difference now. Poe,” she said, looking up at the pair who had halted just beside her. “Who is this?” 

“General Organa. Sorry to interrupt, but this is Finn, and he needs to talk to you.” 

“And I need to talk to him,” the General answered, immediately focused on Finn. “That was incredibly brave what you did. Renouncing the First Order, saving this man’s life.” 

“Thank you, ma’am,” Finn said hastily, “but a friend of mine has been taken prisoner –” 

“Yes, I know. Ben. Poe and Han told me all about it.” 

“Ben?” 

“He probably told you his name was Kylo,” she said, her tone slightly dry. 

“I know about his names,” Finn clarified. “Just, how do you know his other name?” 

Leia raised her eyebrows. “I’m his mother.” 

Finn gaped before he could catch himself. That would make sense of several odd things that had happened over the past few days, although it simultaneously made everything more confusing. 

“You seem surprised. Is it the height difference?” General Organa joked, but no one laughed, except maybe Poe who choked behind Finn’s shoulder. Connix shot a glare at the pilot. Poe cleared his throat. 

Han, hands on hips, appeared with Chewbacca and joined their little circle. “What’s going on?” 

“Finn’s familiar with the weapon that destroyed the Hosnian system. He worked on the base,” Poe said. 

Organa continued, unphased, “We're desperate for anything you can tell us about the First Order and especially what you know of their base where we believe they’ve taken him.” 

“Ma’am, we need to get to Kylo. You don’t understand what they can do to him – what they’re doing to him right now.” 

Leia pressed her lips together. “Trust me, I know. But the best thing you can do for him right now is give us information so that we can organize a successful operation.” 

Finn straightened, giving her a slight nod, thinking of his old squad, of Poe, of Kylo. “I’ll tell you everything.” 

“Thank you, Finn,” General Organa said. “Han, a word?” 

“Of course,” Han grunted. 

“Finn, Connix and Dameron will take you to be debriefed. We’ll meet back here in an hour.” 

An hour sounded like an eternity to Finn, but he knew the General was right. This was the best way he could help Kylo, even though the thought of what his friend was enduring right then made the undigested food in his stomach turn over. Finn wasn’t anywhere close to giving up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was another Finn-heavy chapter, which I know probably ain't your favorite... but I think it's important to see how everyone else reacts and/or reflects Rey and Ben's journey, highlighting things we don't normally see. Call me a nerd, but that's what I'm here for ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> So, let me know what you think in a comment or kudos! This is a bit of a lull before we start to get to the climax, but I'll see you in two weeks!


	13. Thirteenth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on [tumblr](https://a-nerd-obsessed.tumblr.com)

“Leia,” Han said once they were hidden in a dusty corner of the command room, “we have to get Ben as soon as possible.” 

“How was he?” Leia asked in an undertone. 

Han grimaced, settling his hands on his hips. “Not good.” 

Leia closed her eyes for a moment. “But he’s alive.” 

“For now,” Han amended. 

“What do you think they want from him? Why did they leave the droid behind?” Leia muttered, her brow wrinkled. 

“It was Kira Ren. And Leia, I think we were right - it’s her.” 

Leia met Han’s grim eyes. “Did you see her face?” 

“No.” Han shifted his feet. “But there was something about her. I don’t know if it was the walk or the height or what, but I’d swear it was the kid.” 

Leia seemed to age in the span of a few seconds. “That explains maybe why she would take Ben. He and Rey always had a connection that I couldn’t understand,” Leia sighed. “But what is she planning to do with him?” 

“I find it hard to believe she’d hurt him.” 

“I can’t help but feel that this is somehow my fault. Sending that poor girl to live at the Academy when she was still so young... she never really had a mother. That was a mistake.” 

“She was better off there than on that junkyard of Jakku.” 

“But we never gave her a choice. What if she didn’t want to go to the Academy? It just seemed like the most obvious option at the time.” 

Han grunted. “We can’t go back and change it now anyhow.” 

Leia pressed her lips together. “I wish it wasn’t true, but if Kira Ren is our Rey, then there’s a lot that’s changed.” 

“Ben’s changed too.” 

“He’s still our boy, though,” Leia said firmly. 

“I know,” Han said. “I know.” 

“I just wish we could know what happened that night at the Academy,” Leia said. “I just know we’re missing something here. If that map takes us to Luke, he’ll be able to make sense of all this.” 

They stood in silence as the room beyond them chattered with activity. 

“Ben wouldn’t talk to me,” Han grumbled after a moment. “He - he was hurting bad, though.” 

“Han.” 

He looked up from the tip of his boots to meet her eyes. 

“You have to get our boy, and bring him home.” 

Han opened his mouth to respond, but he was interrupted. 

“General.” 

Leia turned, finding Connix standing with her hands clasped behind her back a few meters away. 

“We need you to come right away. We’ve gotten new intel.” 

“From Finn?” 

“Yes, but also Snap’s reconnaissance report came back regarding their base of operations. With a tracker.” 

Leia uttered a very unladylike curse, which caused Han to grin before quickly smothering it. Now wasn’t the time to tease her, but he always loved when his princess let her fiesty side show. 

“All right, let’s get to it then.” 

Han followed her and Connix back to the tactical holodisplay in the center of the room where Poe, Finn, and several officers are crowded around looking at a giant scan of an unfamiliar planet. 

“Bring me up to speed, Commander,” Leia ordered, taking her place in the circle. Han saw Chewie standing off to the side and he moved to join the Wookiee. Chewie tilted his head and barked a question quietly. 

“We’re fine,” Han waved off Chewie’s concern even as his face settled into a scowl. It had been years since he’d seen Leia and he knew Chewbacca disapproved of his unofficial self-imposed separation. But he didn’t know what to do. He never really had the right words or the right reactions, and when Ben disappeared and everything had gone to hell, Han had taken the easy route, even if he felt ashamed about it. He slumped against a column. 

Now as he watched Leia take charge of the situation, Han knew he had made a mistake. Leia had persisted like only Leia could, but Han could still see the strain around her eyes and in her shoulders that the years of worry and care had impressed on her. And he hadn’t been there to help. Even now, she was balancing her need to help her son and her commitment to the Resistance. 

“They’ve somehow created a hyper lightspeed weapon within the planet itself,” Snap Wexley was saying when Han moved his focus from Leia to the briefing. 

“A laser cannon?” one of the officers asked. 

Wexley grimaced. “We’re not really sure how to describe a weapon of this size.” 

A major who was clearly old enough to have seen the fall of the Empire spoke up. “So then it’s another Death Star.” 

Whispers and mutters skittered around the room, echoing oddly off the walls. 

“I wish that were the case, Major,” Poe said, causing an instant hush. 

Leia glanced up at Han. They had been here before. 

“This was the Death Star,” Poe continued, tapping the console in front of him to bring up an image of the first moon-sized space station. Another couple of buttons and the Death Star begins to shrink away, quickly being dwarfed by a massive orb with a fearsome gash splitting open its equator to make way for a gaping hole that stared at them like a dead eye. “This is Starkiller Base.” 

“Good grief,” Han muttered. “So it’s big. What will these guys think of next?” 

Ackbar, now older and more whiskery than Han remembered, was eyeing the scanned image with calculating eyes. “How is it possible to power a weapon of this size?” 

Finn spoke up for the first time, hands gripping the edge of the holotable. “It uses the power of the sun. I don’t know the exact science of it – that wasn’t my area – but as the weapon is charged, the sun is drained until it disappears.” 

A technician ran up and handed Leia a datacard. She read it quickly, her expression growing grimmer as everyone waited with baited breath. 

“The energy readings from Starkiller Base. The First Order is charging the weapon again. Our system appears to be the next target.” 

“Oh my!” Han hadn’t noticed C-3PO in the crowd, but now he glared at the pessimistic protocol droid. “Without the Republic fleet, we’re doomed!” 

The officers were now panicked, although they were doing an admirable job of holding it together. 

Han pushed himself upright. “Okay, how do we blow it up?” 

Everyone stared at him. 

“There’s always a way to do that,” he growled. They all seemed stunned to silence, except Leia. 

“Han’s right.” She gave him a half-smile that didn’t reach her eyes. 

“Well,” an admiral started, clearly thinking as he spoke, “in order for that amount of power to be contained without disintegrating the entire planet, that base would need some kind of thermal oscillator to keep the energy in stasis.” 

“There is one,” Finn interjected eagerly. “I’ve never been, but I knew some guys who patrolled that area. Precinct 47.” 

The hologram zoomed in to a large structure in the upper hemisphere, directly north of the weapon’s maw. 

The admiral continued hypothesizing. “If we can destroy that oscillator, it might destabilize the core and cripple the weapon, causing the planet to implode.” 

Ackbar shook his head, indicating the faint sphere above the planet’s surface. “They have planetary shields that our ships cannot penetrate.” 

Han was getting exasperated. “So, we disable the shields.” He looked to Finn. “Kid, you worked there. What do you got?” 

A series of expressions flickered across Finn’s face before he settled on determination. “I can do it.” 

Han smirked. “I like this guy.” 

“I can do it,” Finn clarified, “but I have to be there. On the planet.” 

“We’ll get you there,” Han answered. 

“Han, how?” Leia demanded. Han could tell she wanted a concrete, logical plan, and he had one, it was just... in progress. 

“If I told you, you wouldn’t like it,” he said. 

Leia frowned at him but didn’t argue further. 

“So we disable the shields, take out the oscillator and we blow up their big gun. All right. Let's go!” Poe declared. 

Everyone returned to their stations, some out to the hangars to prepare for their biggest mission yet. On the landing pad Han and Chewie ran a quick but thorough inspection of the _Millennium Falcon_ , fueling her up while Han tried not to think too hard about his plan. Leia would definitely designate it as one of his least promising hare-brained schemes, but they always worked out anyway, didn’t they? 

“Chewie, check that donal capitator. Come on. Let's go," Han ordered. “And Finn, be careful with those - they're explosives.” 

Finn almost squeaked as he paused hefting a crate into his arms. “Now you tell me?” 

Han ignored the ex-stormtrooper’s glare. He’d get used to it. 

“No matter how much we fought, I always hated seeing you leave.” 

Han looked over to see Leia standing a few meters behind him, watching him wistfully. He scrubbed his hands on his pants before taking a few steps towards her. “That’s why I did it. So you’d miss me.” He gave her a lopsided grin. 

She narrowed the distance so that she was looking up at him, her eyes shining. In his mind, the years fell away, and he was a young man, enraptured by the amazing woman before him. They didn’t even have to say it aloud anymore. 

_I love you._

_I know._

“I did miss you,” she admitted after a moment. 

“You shouldn’t have had to,” he muttered, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I messed up. I messed up everything.” 

“Han Solo,” Leia interrupted. “You didn’t make all those messes yourself. Some of those are mine. You may be a scruffy-looking nerf herder, but you can only do so much on your own.” 

He huffed a laugh. She pressed a palm to his cheek and he looked into her eyes. 

“It wasn’t all bad, was it? Some of it was... good,” he said. 

“Pretty good,” she agreed. 

“Some things never change.” 

Her hand dropped. “True. You still drive me crazy.” 

Tentatively, he set his hands on her shoulders and pulled her into him. For once in his life, he couldn’t find the words, so he just held her. 

“If you see Ben, tell him that I miss him, too,” she whispered. 

“I will.” 

~---~ 

The Ren were waiting for Kira , masked and fully armed, in a corridor near the detainment sector when she left the audience chamber. 

Silyana stood in front of the other knights, her hands loose at her sides. Ymiré and Dorrit, who had been stationed with Kira aboard the _Finalizer,_ trying to gauge their master’s mood _._ Tirian, who had been running a useless errand for Hux, now skulking half-hidden behind the others. Akkerd and Chaq, who had been receiving direct tutelage under the Supreme Leader, recently returned to Starkiller Base and eager to fight with their brethren again. 

They would not be excited by the task she had for them. 

“The prisoner escaped,” Kira said. “He can’t have gotten far. Search the base and bring him to me. He’s just beginning to regain his powers, but the longer it takes to find him, the more dangerous he becomes.” 

Chaq, a clever, red-eyed Chiss, spoke up. “The prisoner, sir?” 

“Ben Solo.” Kira felt the pulse of surprise from her knights before it was efficiently controlled. “He has limited himself, but be wary even if he appears weakened. He could be stronger than any of you if he chose to be. Dismissed.” 

The knights dispersed, an unspoken consensus as they each took a different direction to scour the vast base for the errant prisoner. They’d begin with the multitude of hangars where someone could attempt to hijack a ship, not unlike Dameron and FN-2187. Even Silyana strode away without pausing, focused on the urgency of the task at hand. 

Kira stood still in the vacated corridor, reaching out with her thoughts, slipping over her knights who burned darkly in the web of the Force, searching for that feeling of him that had called to her so strongly in the forest on Takodana. 

She couldn’t sense him. He was no longer a void in the energy around them like before she knew he had cut himself off from the Force. She had triggered something when she pushed into his mind and saw the anger and pain that consumed him. Or maybe when he had fought back, catapulting himself into her and recognized her fears as easily as if she had given them voice. 

Either way, she had been a fool to leave him there for Hux to find, so vulnerable and unstable. The thought of Ben’s words to her and Hux’s actions towards herself through Ben made Kira see red, her hands curving into claws. The Force hummed, causing the metal panels and durasteel supports of the corridor to creak and vibrate in response. 

And now he was nowhere to be found. Ben was hiding himself from her. 

“Sir.” 

Kira lifted her head at the sound of the captain’s modulated voice behind her but didn’t turn. 

Phasma continued. “Sensors were triggered in hangar 718. We’re searching the area now.” 

Kira didn’t respond immediately. They had had several little meetings like this, always approached with discretion and informality. But they were always beneficial, if somewhat inconsequential. 

They weren’t allies – that would be a bit too strong to describe their relationship. They were more like business partners, mutual investors. Phasma had been the first to approach her, breaching the invisible line between the First Order’s military and whatever the Knights of Ren were. 

That first exchange had not been entirely unexpected. Kira had researched the captain out of spite and suspicion as she was one of Hux’s few confidantes. Although the number of documents missing from Phasma’s file was predictably high, Kira had been able to recognize the pattern in the holes, from Phasma’s abrupt appearance with Brendol Hux, her rapid appointment to director of the stormtrooper program, to Brendol Hux’s unexpected death, to her current influence with Hux. Phasma was a motivated woman, and she knew how to play the game. The information was never anything too large or obvious, just small little bits and pieces. 

The best thing about their unofficial connection was that Phasma knew Kira recognized her for who she was. Like recognized like, despite the clear imbalance of power. 

“Thank you, Captain,” Kira murmured. The captain marched past as though continuing on her way, their encounter a mere happenstance. 

If only Kira felt that confident in her standing with Leader Snoke. She remembered his harsh admonishment and his physical rebuke. She steadied herself before turning toward hangar 718. By bringing Ben Solo to Snoke, she would regain the favor she had lost and win Ben to the Dark at long last. 

~---~ 

Kylo spat another thick, bright gob of blood into his sleeve and leaned against the wall of his current hiding spot, a dimly-lit recessed doorway in a long corridor of similar doorways. Most of the bleeding had stopped, but he still cursed General Hux’s name profusely. The idiot amateur didn’t know what he was doing in his interrogation and caused Kylo to bite through his tongue in his haste for answers. Now it throbbed in his mouth, but he remembered the Force healing techniques he’d learned as an apprentice so long ago – no, he couldn’t, wouldn’t turn back to those old practices. They were too easy, too dangerous. And now that Rey was here, she’d be able to find him in a heartbeat if he so much as touched the Force with any real intention. 

It was there now, the familiar ebb and flow filling the aching cavity in his mind. It was strange how something that had always been so omnipresent, destined, fated to be a part of him, had become so unusual and foreign to him. Yet it felt so _right_ , like he could finally breathe again. It was a relief to let go of the white-knuckled grip of his desperate control and allow the Force back in. Even though that powerful connection accounted for a large part of the danger he was in now. 

“Clearing sector seven-six-four,” a voice said, not far from Kylo’s little closet. The menacing sound of stormtrooper boots drew near and Kylo stopped breathing, willing himself to be smaller in hopes that they would pass by without discovering him. He could hear their footsteps hesitating as they inspected each doorway leading up to where he was barely hidden, probably checking the datalog of each lock to ensure that they hadn’t been tampered with. 

A white-armored trooper came to the doorway, pausing to glance in. Kylo stiffened as the soldier’s helmet turned, scanning over Kylo with no sign of recognition. 

“Clear.” 

Kylo sagged against the wall as the stormtroopers moved on. That was a little too close for comfort, and he hadn’t even realized what he was doing. Before, the Force had just been something he’d grown up in, as natural as breathing. Now it was something new, yet old at the same time. Like riding a hoverbike. He never really forgot how to use it, but he had to relearn the tricks and stunts – and be extra careful he didn’t do something stupid by accident. Kylo slid to the floor, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. 

He had to get to a hangar, preferably a small one with less personnel, and get off the planet. Kylo wasn’t sure what planet he was on, but he was sure it wasn’t a Star Destroyer. He had stumbled onto a main hangar earlier and was forced to retreat due to the number of officers and troopers swarming the floor. 

But he’d seen outside, and it wasn’t the stark void of space. It looked like some kind of snow world, and there was no way he could try to make a run for it into the wilderness beyond the base without any equipment or the proper insulation. His escape would have to be by air or not at all. 

He reached into his jacket, inventorying its contents again – which were nothing. All his weapons and tools that had been concealed in the linings and inner pockets were gone. Even the pearl, the one thing from his old life and from Rey, was gone. 

It didn’t matter, though. The likelihood of Kylo getting away from the First Order was extremely low. That didn’t mean he shouldn’t try though. He’d be damned if he sat and waited for Kira Ren to come find him. 

He heaved up to his feet, just as he heard another, softer tread approaching. He flattened himself once again, hoping against hope that it was a maintenance worker, or someone else of little consequence that wouldn’t be missed. At least not right away. 

A shadow moved at the end of the corridor, although Kylo didn’t see so much as feel her. The specter drifted closer, its mask sweeping back and forth. His hands clenched into fists, the only weapon he had unless he wanted to alert all the Force-sensitives on the planet by tapping into his ability. 

She halted in front of his doorway, he felt it. Her head tilted to the side, a long blonde braid swinging softly from beneath her mask. She lifted a hand, slowly. 

Kylo nearly jumped out of his skin when she spoke into a comm. 

“Cleared the upper 700s. No sign of the prisoner. Moving on to the hangars in 800.” 

And then she was gone. 

After he regained control of his shaking limbs, Kylo pushed away from the wall and peered into the corridor before taking up a long, loping pace behind her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovely people!
> 
> So, what did you think of the Vanity Fair photos? I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT THE KNIGHTS OF REN Y'ALL. And obviously my version of the KoR is super inaccurate but oh well. I couldn't just leave them out and oMG I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THEM IN DECEMBER.
> 
> Anyhoo, let me know what you think about this chapter! I love to hear from you and talk about this story (or the Knights of Ren... or anything Star Wars really).
> 
> Btw there's a really good chance the chapter count is gonna go up. I'll know next time for sure. Update in two weeks!


	14. Fourteenth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to the amazing-est beta to ever beta, [AngstyWriter](https://angstywriterangst.tumblr.com)
> 
> Say hi on[tumblr](https://a-nerd-obsessed.tumblr.com)!

The adrenaline of their near-death experience hadn’t quite worn off for Finn when they disembarked from the  _ Falcon _ .  His limbs were still shaking enough that he would have fallen face-first into the snow if Chewbacca hadn’t grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and pulled him upright. 

Finn shuddered at the all too recent memory of the ground rushing up at them, coming into focus less than a hundred meters from the  _ Falcon’s _ cockpit as alarms blared and sensors blinked frantically. Finn believed he was fairly brave - but the abrupt possibility of becoming a smudge of grease on the surface of Starkiller Base had tested his fortitude.

“You all right, big deal?” Han asked. 

“Yeah,” Finn said, getting a better grip on his blaster. “Let’s do this.” 

Han just chuckled. “Don’t get too excited just yet. We got a long walk ahead of us.” 

Chewie howled in agreement. 

“Hey, no complaints,” Han snipped. “If we’da got any closer, those pests would’ve been all over us by now.”

Finn stopped a moment to take a breath of sharp, cold air. From the cliffside where they’d crash-landed, Finn could see the hazy shape of the structure housing the thermal oscillator several clicks away. Squinting to see further south, he grimly noted the blindingly bright stream of energy being drawn into the planet’s core from the adjacent star. While ominous, as long as there was light, they weren’t too late. But still, it didn’t matter unless he couldn’t figure out a plan - both to disable the shields and find Kylo. 

Finn had said he could do it: get into the base, take down the shields. And while that wasn’t entirely true, he was sure there was a way to make it happen. There had to be, right? But he didn’t even know where to begin – planetary defense systems was way above his station. Taking down the shields would have to be done by someone who was authorized with the proper code and had access to the protocol, and someone like that would be high-ranking and probably spent most of their time in command centers with restricted access hidden behind layers of security. 

All places and people Finn had never interacted with as a sanitation worker. 

So if they had any hope of getting this done, they’d have to find someone further down the chain, someone who knew things that maybe they shouldn’t. 

Someone like his old captain. 

The thought of her made him shiver. And anyway, the chances of running into her were slim to none. Finn slogged through a snow drift, following behind Chewbacca while Han brought up the rear. They’d made it past the first markers without incident and stopped to rest behind an offline shield generator. The First Order was arrogant but they weren’t stupid – not entirely, anyway. While they had installed many such generators around the major structures of the base to thwart any ground assault, Finn had never been aware of them being used. Because obviously, no one could get past the planetary shield without clearance from the ground.

Unless they were going at lightspeed. 

He shook himself and focused on the white space in front of them, peering over the silent generator’s bulk at the distant walkers patrolling the walls. 

This he could handle. 

“The flooding tunnels are over that ridge.” He nodded in the direction of the tunnels. “I know how to get through them without getting spotted.” 

“The flooding tunnels?” 

“Yes. Sometimes the hydraulic systems get overwhelmed and they have to flush through the tunnels to remove the excess. Melting snow from the overheating of the core or something.” 

Han gave him an odd look. “Uh huh.” 

“Almost never happens though.” 

“And you know this how?” 

“I worked there.” 

“In the sewers?” 

“That’s not the sewer, it’s the flooding tunnel.” 

“What was your job?” 

“...Sanitation.” 

Han narrowed his eyes. “Sanitation?” he hissed. 

“Yes.” 

“Then how do you know how to disable the shields?” 

Finn grimaced. “I don’t.” 

“You don't?” Han growled. “People are counting on us! The  _ galaxy is counting on us!” _

Finn sighed. “I never said I knew how to disable the shields. Honestly, I’m just here to get Kylo out.” 

Han spluttered. “I appreciate that, but we have another job, too, kid. We promised.” 

Chewie moaned, and Han turned his frustration on the Wookiee. “Oh really, you’re cold?” Han looked back at Finn, jerking his head towards Chewie. “The furball says he’s cold.” 

“Solo, come on. We’ll figure it out! Isn’t that how this works?” Finn said. 

Han stared. “The figuring out part was getting us here in one piece. That’s  _ my _ bit. This part was supposed to be the easy part.” 

“How’d you do that? Getting us on the ground?” 

Han threw his hands in the air. 

Finn’s eyes widened. “Hey, what about - we’ll just use the Force! That’s what you used in the old days, right?” 

“That’s not  _ how the Force works!” _

_ “ _ Okay, then, we’ll just have to figure it out some more. Let’s go.” 

Finn turned and marched away through the frozen landscape, followed by the muttering and grumbling of his companions. After another half hour or so, they made it to the access port inside the flooding tunnels. Finn shot the panel beside the doorway, spraying sparks onto the icy ground. Even though Han didn’t comment, Finn explained anyway. 

“If I tried one of the old codes or tried to guess the new ones, it would go in the logs. This way, they’ll just think it glitched out. They won’t check it for a bit.”  _ I hope, _ he added to himself.

Han grunted then gestured for Chewie, who stepped forward and pried apart the disabled doors with a groan. 

“Quick, inside.” Finn plunged into the dimly-lit interior, taking them up a couple levels deeper into the facility. He knew this area, had traveled this route many times; he didn’t even have to think as he guided them to the nearest control station. It didn’t take long for the corridors to become broader and more refined. 

A door whooshed open as they approached, startling both the intruders and the unlucky stormtrooper who stood on the opposite side. Chewie recovered first, shooting the soldier straight in the chest. Finn didn’t even have time to object as the stormtrooper flew backwards against the far wall to slide to the ground, pieces of charred and shattered armor scattering across the polished floor. 

“Nice shot, Chewie,” Han said, dumping his coat on the ground and stepping through the doorway. “Kid, grab his weapon.” 

Finn moved forward in a daze, kneeling beside the still corpse. He didn’t bother to check for signs of life; the thick smell of burnt flesh precluded any hope that it was a minor injury. Finn supposed Chewbacca had decades of experience that taught him that there was only one shot that counted. Still, Finn gingerly removed the helmet, revealing startled, empty eyes. Hastily, Finn slid the dead man’s eyes shut, not wanting that sightless gaze on him as he put the helmet on himself. 

“Kid?” 

The helmet was still activated, although it was sending a distress signal through the base’s internal system based on the abnormal bioreadings of its previous wearer. 

_ FN-9330. _

The identification winked in the corner of his vision and Finn quickly pulled it off. He hadn’t ever met the man or his squad, but that meant the FN division was here. And if they were here, that confirmed that the  _ Finalizer _ had come here with Kylo, just as Snap had reported to the Resistance command on D’Qar. 

Which also meant maybe it wouldn’t be as hard to find Phasma as he thought. 

“Hey, kid, what are you doing?” 

Finn stood up, taking the stormtrooper’s blaster. “Kylo’s definitely here.” 

Han placed his hands on his hips, looked relieved and tired. “Okay. What about the shields? The longer we’re here, the less luck we’re going to have.” 

“I have an idea on that.” 

After that, it was disgustingly easy to locate Phasma. 

At least, it seemed so to Finn. He didn’t realize how much of the nuances of the First Order was hard-wired into his mind. 

Phasma was never far from her men – she had the ability to appear out of nowhere unexpectedly and at the worst moments. Finn remembered that in horrible detail. Several of his comrades had been promptly disciplined after being caught unawares by her sudden arrivals. 

She never walked with a guard or any type of accompaniment. Finn had seen her leading combat training and knew that she was one of the most skilled fighters in the First Order. She didn’t need protection. 

Nor did she trust anyone to protect her, to know her every movement, to observe her habits. Despite her central position in the First Order, she had always stood apart to Finn. His own personal demon, always watching, pushing him to let go of everything but his obedience to the First Order, and by extension, herself. 

Still, she was a lone wolf. 

And she always took the back way. 

Phasma was blindsided by the Wookiee that charged out of a side door and slammed into her like a conveyex. 

“Did you kill her?” Finn said apprehensively, as Chewbacca dumped her in the middle of the control station while Han triggered the lock to the door. Finn was slightly stunned by the sight of Phasma’s chrome armor slumped on the floor. The other control station personnel were already unconscious, crumpled in heaps where they had been ambushed by the trio a short while earlier. 

Han snorted. “Not even close. You sure she’s gonna know how to do this?” 

“Yes,” Finn said.  _ And she needs to do it quick so we can rescue Kylo and get out of here. _

Phasma groaned and Finn immediately trained a blaster at her chest. 

“Calm down, big deal. We’ve got to take it easy, all right?” Han cautioned. 

Finn gave him a fierce look. “She’s dangerous.” 

“I know. But we need her alive and conscious to do this. Don’t get too hasty.” 

Chewie yanked Phasma to her feet when she started to stir and slammed her down in front of a console like a rag doll, keeping a strong grip on the back of her neck. Finn kept the muzzle of his blaster aimed at the juncture of her helmet and her chest plate, feeling the sweat gathering on his brow and under his arms. Han and Chewie also kept their weapons trained on the captain as she shook herself and straightened up. When the blank visor of her helmet turned, fixing itself on Finn, he glowered back. 

“Remember me?” he asked. 

“FN-2187.” Her tone was flat, but Finn could tell she was pissed. He resisted the urge to grin like a child. 

“Not anymore. The name’s Finn, and I’m in charge now, Phasma.  _ I’m _ in charge.” He gave up holding back the grin. 

“Bring it down,” Han muttered. 

Finn squashed the grin. “Right. You’re gonna take down the planet’s shields.” 

Phasma refused to answer. Chewie shook her, rattling her armor. 

“Lower the shields,” Finn repeated. “I know you can do it.” 

Phasma didn’t deny it. “You’re making a big mistake.” 

“Not really,” Finn said, growing in confidence even as his heart raced. Something about seeing his former captain tossed around like she was nothing helped with that. “You never gave a shit about us. If it comes down to protecting the First Order or stopping me from blasting that bucket off your head, we both know which is more important.” 

Her head cocked. 

“Do it!” 

There was a brief hesitation before she reached out to the panel to begin entering a series of commands and the words  _ SHIELDS DISABLE INITIATE  _ appeared over the interface. 

Finn watched over her shoulder, feeling a line of sweat drip down his brow. “Don’t try anything funny.” 

Phasma made no response, although she seemed nonplussed by Finn’s jitters or the menace of the Wookiee standing over her. Her hands remained steady as she finished the protocol. She looked up just as the display flashed  _ SHIELDS DISABLED _ and the indicators for the defense system winked out. 

“You can’t be so stupid as to think this will be easy,” she stated with just a hint of mocking. “My soldiers will storm this block and kill you all.” 

Finn let out a breath and pulled back on his nerves. This was his territory now. “I disagree.” 

“All right, kid,” Han said. “Well done.” 

Finn started to grin before he realized something. “Wait - what do we do with her?” 

The silliest smirk Finn had ever seen grew on Han’s face. 

“Is there a garbage chute?” Han asked, then raised his eyebrows. “Trash compactor?” 

It took Finn a split second to catch up with the old rebel’s thoughts. When he did, his relieved grin enthusiastically mirrored Han’s. “Yeah, there is.” 

~---~ 

Kira’s frustration swelled. There was no sign of Ben. None of the Knights had reported anything to her; it was as if he had simply vanished. True, the base was vast - but he was one unarmed, injured man on unfriendly ground. After so long apart, he was  _ so close _ . She had felt it, and he had too.

Kira leaned against a window in an obscure corridor, her mask making a faint  _ thunk _ against the thick glass separating her from the snowscape beyond. She stared at the burning beam of energy being sucked into Starkiller’s maw, the haze caused by the smoke and steam in the atmosphere surrounding it. 

Her eyes slid closed. She reached out with her perception once again, letting go of her frustration just for a moment to rise above herself. 

She couldn’t feel him. 

Kira’s hand slammed against the glass, a spider-web of fractures bursting out from beneath her palm. 

But then – 

Her head whipped around as though she could peer through miles of durasteel and distance. 

_ Han Solo?  _

Faint, and far away. But she was sure that for just a moment, she had sensed Han Solo before he faded among the dense web of sentient beings populating Starkiller Base. She couldn’t forget what he felt like even after all those years. 

Kira stormed toward the nearest hangar at the eastern edge of the base. A quick review of the datalogs showed that a couple of the perimeter sensors had been triggered although they hadn’t been flagged due to the propensity of snow drifts to shift and cause false alarms. 

She appropriated the squad of snowtroopers stationed at the hangar for her mission, without bothering to inform her knights or Hux. Even if she couldn’t find Ben, finding his father was a step closer. As much as Ben had changed, she had sensed the impressions left from Han Solo were still deeply embedded in his mind. 

If she had Han Solo, she would have Ben. 

Commandeering a small troop transport and a TIE fighter, the squad followed behind as Kira sped across the landscape, dipping into a small valley before rising up a ridge just on the edge of the defense perimeter. 

They found the  _ Millennium Falcon  _ half-buried in snow. Kira sensed the ripple of surprise from the snowtroopers, but they wasted no time in locking down the area, sweeping the exterior of the freighter for any security concerns. Kira circled the crash site, noting the long trench where the ship had carved through ice and snow before coming to a halt at the very edge of the ridge. 

Kira almost laughed aloud when she figured it out. The fractional refresh rate of the planetary shield is what allowed it to maintain such a high integrity and withstand almost any level of firepower. But it was also what allowed something to slip through at lightspeed.

Hux’s colossal, epic science project wasn’t nearly as marvelous as he supposed. Not when its impenetrable shields could be overcome by a retired smuggler in a tiny ancient freighter held together by spit and luck. 

“All clear, sir.” The squad leader saluted her. 

She made her way on board with heavy footsteps. She had known as they had approached that they would find it empty, but was still drawn to the  _ Falcon _ , just like she had been as a child. 

Kira stood in the cockpit, alone. She wasn’t a young girl anymore. The space felt smaller, dirtier. Her mask distorted any of the familiar smells, sounds, or sights of the  _ Falcon _ from reaching her. The viewport, clouded with piles of packed snow, didn’t allow her to see anything except the faint, smudged reflection of a masked dark stranger. 

Everything was wrong. Less than a week ago, everything had been going so well, all the elements aligning to confirm her choice to grow in the Dark. It seemed that Ben would be joining her there, the fulfillment of her one of her deepest hopes.

But now she felt numb, wrung out by Ben’s accusations, Snoke’s rebuking, and Hux’s ridicule. Kira closed her eyes, focusing on the tips of her fingers digging into the seatbacks to ground herself. 

She inhaled. 

Exhaled. 

And she felt him again. Just a flicker of Ben’s mind, brushing against hers, even as she sensed him draw back. 

Kira knew then he couldn’t avoid her. Even after four years of hiding and denial and avoidance, the Force had brought them together. It was inevitable. And this time Ben would join her. 

“Sir.”

Kira turned her head just slightly to acknowledge the squad leader behind her. 

“General Hux is trying to reach you. The shields are down, sir, and a squadron of Resistance fighters is attempting an incursion. He’s requesting your help.”

Kira pushed past him and disembarked from the freighter, searching the sky. The snowtroopers, too, were looking at the distant firefight over the housing for the thermal oscillator. The Supreme Leader would be furious, but that was Hux’s problem. She had another task to carry out.

“We’ll return to base,” Kira said curtly, before turning to the TIE fighter resting in the snow.

“The freighter, sir?”

“Leave it.” No one would be returning to claim it, Kira was sure of it. The Force had other plans for Ben Solo.

~---~ 

Hux strode through the central command, his eyes sharp, observing each technician at work with intense scrutiny. As if sensing his gaze, each officer bent over their station, eager to appear intent on their duties. 

He smiled, turning towards the window where the dying star was just visible. As much as he enjoyed using his weapon – the Hosnian system had been such a delight – watching a star fade and shrink away was awe-inspiring. Something about taking such immense, seemingly-permanent power and manipulating it for his own purposes – there was nothing like it. 

“Report,” he barked, cutting through the hum of activity. 

“Weapon charged in two hours, sir.” 

Hux clasped his hands behind his back, letting his greatcoat stretch across his shoulders. Patience had been one of his greatest strengths over the years. Such immense power did not come in a moment. He had survived this long by waiting until the right time to achieve the fullness of his potential. Two hours was nothing.

A siren rang out, shrill above the efficient bustle. 

Hux spun around, striding back to the work stations. “What’s going on?” 

“The shields have been lowered, General!” 

“The shields?” 

“The planetary shields, sir! We’re trying to raise them now, but it’ll take a moment for the generators to reverse their sequence.” 

“What activated the protocol in the first place?” 

The entire room scrambled to find an answer. 

“Someone accessed it from one of the peripheral control stations, sir.” 

Another officer, a colonel, spoke up. “We have incoming, General!” 

“Report.” 

“It looks like a squadron of foreign fighters headed towards precinct 47. Resistance, sir.” 

Hux stalked to the window, staring upwards until he had picked out the tiny specks swooping down towards the surface, flying directly towards the thermal oscillator. 

_ Kriff. _

_ “ _ Dispatch all squadrons at once!” 

“Yes, General.” 

“And where is Ren?” he shouted. Ren never missed an opportunity to test out one of her prototype fighters. Despite her unparalleled skill as a pilot – he had accessed the reports of her stellar test flights several times – a small part of him always hoped that she would get injured in the fray. Hux wouldn’t mind. Either that or she’d actually be useful to him for once and take out a few of those damned Resistance fighters. 

“Ren is out at one of the peripheral ground shield generators, sir.” 

Hux nearly growled aloud. She was never around when he wanted her, and she was always present when he didn’t.  _ Very well _ . He had enough to deal with for the moment as he watched the first explosions bloom over the distant thermal oscillator. It was nearly impenetrable, especially against such low fire power. But still, it irritated him that they thought they could try. 

“How long until the weapon is ready?” 

“Just under two hours, General.” 

Hux clenched his jaw. His patience was growing thin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I feel as though I may have mislead you all with the chapter count... I'm planning on doing a Part Three that corresponds with TLJ (and a Part Four based on TRoS eventually). _I Love It When I Fall for That_ is the equivalent of TFA, so there's much more to come after this bit is done. That being said, I feel like we might reach the end of this part in the next chapter. I'm having a hard time gauging how much is left, so I'm leaving the chapter count at 15 for now.
> 
> Anyhoo, talk to me! Leave a kudos and comment! Let me know what you think and your predictions for the epic showdown(s) we know are coming up! And of course, thank you so much for reading.
> 
> Update in two weeks!


	15. Fifteenth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A thousand thanks goes to my beta [AngstyWriter](https://angstywriterangst.tumblr.com) for improving this chapter _enormously_
> 
> Come say hi on [tumblr](https://a-nerd-obsessed.tumblr.com)!

“The detention center is in the far quadrant,” Finn said as they peered down a corridor. “It’ll take some time to get there, and then it’ll be nearly impossible to extract him without attracting attention -” 

Chewbacca growled, cutting off Finn’s rambling stream-of-conscious. 

“Don’t tell me the odds, just get us there before the whole place goes down,” Han drawled, nudging Finn forward. 

They crept down the corridor, clutching their weapons tightly, warily peering around corners. They’d had a few close calls already, and they had much further yet to go. 

And that’s why Finn nearly shot the very person he’d hoped to find when he crashed into Kylo rounding the curve. 

“Kylo!” Finn exclaimed in joy and astonishment as Chewie trilled gleefully. Han shushed them hastily and ushered them into an alcove, although his expression belied his relief. 

Kylo looked paler and more wane than before he’d been captured, his hair and skin shiny with sweat. There was blood on his face and sleeves along with dark bruises under his eyes, but his shaky appearance didn’t stop Finn from giving the taller man a crushing embrace with his free arm. 

Kylo grunted, giving a tired attempt at shrugging Finn off, then said, confused, “What - why are you here?” 

Finn stepped back. “We came to get you, of course.” 

Kylo looked over Finn to see Han looking at him with a relieved  but restrained expression. Finn had the good sense to move aside, allowing Han to take a hesitant step towards  Kylo , his jaw working back and forth. 

“Your mother’s really worried about you,” Han offered. 

Kylo attempted a sneer, but it turned out more pained than haughty. “Only worried? That’s generous of her.” 

“Don’t disrespect her like that,” Han snapped, and Kylo flinched. Han huffed and wiped his hand over his face. “That’s not how I wanted to do this. I’m glad you’re alright.” 

“I’m not alright,” Kylo muttered, then froze. 

Han reached up and clasped his son’s shoulder, startling them both. He cleared his throat. “I know, son. And I’m sorry. I don’t know what went wrong, but I’m sorry.” 

“Does it matter?” Kylo replied. 

Han pulled his hand back. “I guess that’s yours to figure.” 

“Guess so.” 

Han’s hands settled on his hips. “Was it something with Rey?” 

“Rey?” Finn asked, confused. 

Kylo finally met his father’s eyes, but they were distant. “Yes.”

“I thought I saw her on Takodana,” Han sighed.

“It’s her.” 

“Was she – did she, uh, hurt you?” 

Kylo seemed unsure how to answer, his jaw tightening. 

“Um,” Finn interrupted when the silence lagged. “We really need to move. We don’t have much time.” 

“Right,” Han said. “Back to the  _ Falcon _ .” 

“Will you be able to make it?” Finn asked Kylo, scanning the bloodstained appearance of his shabby clothes, pale face, and the slight trembling in his legs. “It’s a long way.” 

Kylo glared. “I’m tired, not infirm.” 

“Come on,” Han said. “Let’s get out of this death trap.” 

It was surprisingly easy to make their way to the perimeter of the base as long as they kept alert and took to hiding when the stormtroopers and officers dashed past through the halls hurriedly trying to reach somewhere important. They were obviously distracted, which Finn took as a sign that the Resistance had arrived and were hopefully attacking the thermal oscillator as planned. 

Finn fell in step with Kylo, available to steady him if he stumbled. Han scouted the way ahead, glancing back at his son with mute concern at regular intervals, while Chewie faithfully brought up the rear with his bowcaster. 

“Are you all right, man?” Finn asked in a low voice, still thinking of the blood on Kylo’s face and recalling all the First Order interrogation techniques that could’ve caused it as they scurried across an intersection. “That looks like a lot of blood.” 

Kylo grimaced. “Nothing that I don’t deserve.” 

Finn frowned. “What?” 

“Never mind.” 

“Do they know you’re gone?” 

Kylo mustered a twisted smile. “I’m sure Hux has run off screaming and stomping his feet to tell them all that I escaped by now.” 

“Hux?” Finn queried. “As in General Hux?” 

“Yeah.” 

Finn swore under his breath. “But what about the Knights of Ren? I saw them take you.” 

Kylo chuckled. “They’re around, I’m sure. I was following one for a bit before I lost her, trying to find a way out.” 

“What?” Finn exclaimed, panicking. He moved forward and tugged on Han’s shoulder. “There’s Knights of Ren close. We should take the shorter route out rather than go back the way we came.” 

Han’s eyes bugged slightly. “Why aren’t we going that way now?” 

“It’d mean more walking through the snow, and it would take longer to get back to the  _ Falcon, _ but we’d be outside the base.” 

Han growled. “So we get caught by one of those creepy goons, or we get demolished slogging through the snow like the rest of the planet. Great.” 

Han glanced at Kylo, who was leaning against a wall with the heel of his hands against his temples. When he realized they were looking at him again, Kylo lifted his head. “You didn’t have to come for me.” 

Han took a step towards him and whisper-shouted, “You  _ know _ that was not an option! And it wasn’t just you, all right? Finn here took down the shields so the Resistance could blow this base to bits – which is why we have to get out of here  _ right now _ .” 

“Fine. We’ll take the snow.” Kylo straightened. “Well?” 

Finn scrambled to take the lead. “This way.” 

Finn guided them to a maintenance hatch, which took them through hot, claustrophobic spaces crammed with hissing pipes and thick wires. Everyone was uneasy and sweating in the small humid spaces, and Kylo looked on the verge of passing out when Finn looked back at the group following him. 

The temperature outside was a much-needed refreshment, even as the icy breeze swept over them, causing them to shiver. They were alone when they emerged, much to Finn’s relief. He had been sure they would be ambushed at any moment because there was no way they hadn’t been detected entering an unauthorized area. But then there was a distant explosion, and Finn’s heart raced faster when he remembered the First Order’s preoccupation. 

They were much closer to the thermal oscillator than where they had infiltrated the base, but the dogfight between Resistance and First Order fighters was still a few clicks away. But despite the distance, Finn could see how outnumbered the Resistance was as swarms of TIEs  screamed across the darkening sky. Even the rebel fighters that managed to get away from the defenders and strike the thermal oscillator didn’t make a dent in the heavily-armored structure. The dying star above did little to brighten the battle scene. It was a fraction of its former size, the remaining core energy a blinding sliver against the encroaching darkness. 

“They’re in trouble,” Han said, and Kylo sighed. “We can’t leave.” 

Chewie yipped. 

“That’s right,” Han said in excitement. “Chewie here has a bag full of explosives. Why don’t we use them?” 

“How?” Kylo asked, shivering and hunched over. “If their guns can’t hurt it, those explosives you got definitely won’t do anything.” 

“They can’t crack it from the outside, but we should be able to blow a hole in it from the inside. From there it’s easy pickings.” 

“We can’t get in there,” Finn said. “That thing’s got triple the security the rest of the base does with multiple redundancies. I can’t just shoot the access panel like I did to get into this sector.” 

“Well, how do you bypass that?” Han persisted. 

“Uh,” Finn said, scrambling for ideas. 

“Is there a junction station nearby?” Kylo asked. 

“Yes?” Finn answered, uncertain, trying to remember. “I think so. Why?” 

“If their systems are based on old Imperial technology – which it seems like it from what I saw so far – there's a trigger chip that we can remove that’ll reset the fuses.” 

“Sounds good to me. Can you get Ben there?” Han said to Finn. 

“I guess. Where’ll you be?” Finn replied. 

Han pointed to the thermal oscillator. “We don’t have time to waste. Chewie and I’ll just snag a ride and head over there and we’ll set the charges. After we all can meet up at the  _ Falcon _ .” 

“This is stupid,” Kylo interjected. “We should stay together.” 

Han looked at him. “We don’t have time. You to get to the  _ Falcon  _ so you can leave if things go sideways.” 

Kylo looked ready to argue, but then a cough worked its way up through his lungs and throat, splattering dark blood on the snow. Everyone else winced.

“Hey, Chewie, Big Deal, could you give us a minute?” 

Chewbacca and Finn moved a few meters away to give them some privacy, but a trick of the wind carried their hushed words right to Finn’s ear anyway. 

“Are you up to this?” Han asked quietly. 

“I’m fine,” Kylo insisted, wiping his mouth on his sleeve, revealing a fresh bruise on his wrist. 

“No, you’re not,” Han retorted, “but that’s not what I’m asking.” 

“I can do it.” 

“You’re not saying this because of Rey, are you? Because that’s going to get us all killed.” 

“You know nothing about it,” Kylo bit out. 

“No, I don’t, but something’s very screwed up here, and I know you haven’t told me all of it. She’s calling herself Kira Ren and you’re calling yourself Kylo, and I don’t know that you’re thinking with your head, son.” 

“Don't call me son,” Kylo hissed.

“See what I mean? You’re too angry to think straight.” 

There was an angry pause, then another thick cough. 

“Ben, I don’t know what went wrong, but I promised your mother I’d try my hardest to get you back. I think it’s better if we split up now, but not if this deal with Rey is messing with you.” 

“I never meant to get you involved,” Kylo muttered. “That was the point.” 

“You’re my son,” Han refuted. “I’m always going to be involved somehow, eventually.” 

Another silence. 

“I won’t do anything stupid, I swear.” 

“Okay,” Han said, then louder to the other two who were definitely not eavesdropping, “okay, let’s head out. Find a snowspeeder to borrow if you can.” 

“We’ll have to,” Finn answered, fidgeting. “Otherwise we won’t make it in time.” 

“Right,” Han said. “We’ll find something on our way. Good luck.” 

Han and Chewbacca headed out towards the thermal oscillator at a quick trot and Kylo took a step towards Finn. 

“Let’s get this over with,” Kylo said, his nose and ears glowing red in the cold. 

“You want my jacket?” Finn offered. 

“No.” 

The junction station was a few clicks off the main base, but it didn’t take long to reach it in their borrowed snowspeeder and use its blasters to blow open the junction station’s hatch. 

It was an unmanned station, normally of little consequence. If the hardware inside was damaged, everything would simply reroute to a different station. But if someone who was knowledgeable of Imperial technology and by extension relatively familiar with First Order equipment – someone like Kylo – if that someone removed the datacard linked to the locking mechanism of the ground level portals on the thermal oscillator structure, the programming would just reset rather than reroute. 

“Did it work?” Finn asked after Kylo yanked out the correct part. 

“Don’t know,” Kylo answered through chattering teeth. The brisk ride over to the station had chilled him down to the bone. “Let’s go find out.” 

“But, aren’t we supposed to meet up at the  _ Falcon _ ?” 

“If it didn’t work, they’re just going to be standing outside waiting forever. If it did, they’re going to need back up.” 

“But I thought -” 

“Don’t worry about it.” 

“I’ll worry about it if it’s going to get my ass killed. Or worse.”

Kylo hesitated. “They won’t get you. I swear.”

Finn was not convinced. “Are you saying you’ll shoot me if it comes down to it?”

“Would you rather get captured and tortured?” Kylo said.

“No, I’d rather get off this stupid planet alive.”

“You should have thought of that before you came here. You didn’t owe me or the Resistance anything.”

Finn might have punched Kylo if the taller man hadn’t been in such bad shape already. Instead he hit him with a question. “Who’s Rey?” 

Kylo glared at him, his brown eyes a bright black under a fringe of matted hair. Finn took a step back. While he had gotten used to Kylo’s general surliness, there was almost an edge of malice in his eyes now. Then he winced with a gasp, swearing under his breath, and broke away from Finn’s gaze. 

“Just someone in my head. Don’t worry about it.” Kylo’s face screwed up fiercely as he gathered himself. “Let’s go.” 

Outside, they clambered into the snowspeeder. Finn tossed his jacket to Kylo who had already hunkered down with a grim expression before grabbing the piloting control. 

“Take it,” Finn said. “I don’t need it. Hot-blooded.” 

Kylo snorted but accepted, the flight jacket stretching tight over his broad shoulders. They flew over the icy snow banks towards the thermal oscillator, where the Resistance squadrons were still valiantly attempting to hold off the fire from First Order ground and air. Even as they watched, two X-wings fell from the sky in flames. The star was down to the last wispy streams of energy, and Finn estimated they only had minutes until Starkiller’s weapon was fully charged. He didn’t know how many explosives Chewie had been lugging around, but he hoped it wouldn’t take Han and Chewie long to get them set, assuming they had actually gotten in. 

Finn skidded the snowspeeder to a halt, nearly smashing them into the side of the thermal oscillator in his haste. Kylo didn’t comment. 

“See that ladder on the side?” Finn said, but Kylo had already hopped out of the snowspeeder and made his way to the rungs fastened into the wall, a fierce purpose to his movements as he heaved himself upwards. 

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this,” Finn muttered to himself before following. 

~---~

Kira Ren didn’t bother to answer the hails from Hux’s command center. 

Kira flew across the frozen landscape towards the thermal oscillator in her TIE Silencer. If it was about Ben, one of her Knights would’ve tried to reach her. It was probably about the Resistance incursion, which Hux clearly had handled – if not by strategy than by brute force and numbers, which she confirmed by a quick glance in the direction of the thermal oscillator. 

Ben was her mission. 

Kira’s fighter screamed to a halt in a hangar, scattering the techs and troopers as she set down on the floor. She flung open the hatch after barely completing the post-flight check and swept out of the hangar without a word to the stunned crew. 

She stormed through the base, moving more on instinct than rational thought. After she had touched Kylo's mind for just a moment as she stood in the  _ Falcon’s  _ cockpit, she had felt him getting closer. Even now, he was approaching, she knew it. 

“Ren, to me,” she ordered into her comm as she strode directionless through a maze of corridors. Ben was resistant to the influence of the Force, but if he had allowed himself to use it to escape, he undoubtedly would try to do so again. 

The Knights of Ren appeared gradually, falling in behind her one by one like a mass of living shadow. No one spoke, but she knew they sensed her mood: anticipation, covetousness, anger. He would not escape her again. Once she had allowed him, once she had neglected him. This time he would be made to see and come of his own choice. 

The door hissed open, revealing the main chamber of the thermal oscillator. The structure was so thick and well-shielded that the fighting outside was silenced. The darkness and vastness of the chamber swallowed up all sound, and only the faint red glow of the energy deep in the planet’s core below gave any illumination. Even though the actual oscillator was still far beneath them, the air smothering hot, full of steam and smoke. 

Kira felt the Ren shift at her back. “Find him.” 

They moved past her, spreading out around the perimeter to each level as they began to sweep the gigantic structure. 

He was close, coming closer, she could feel it. 

Kira stepped forward, towards the narrow catwalk spanning the abyss. The dull thud of her boots resonated through the durasteel beneath her feet, full of her conviction that he would come to her. She knew it. 

She walked out on the bridge, emptying herself, cleansing herself in the void that surrounded her on all sides. 

“ _ Rey.” _

The name echoed through the dead air until it lost its form and fell into nothing. Kira turned toward the speaker, standing at the end of the catwalk. 

It wasn’t Ben, like she had been expecting. But the person calling out to her was not unlike him. He took a couple steps out towards her. 

“Han Solo,” she stated, modulated voice strong and low. “I did not expect you to be so foolish.” 

A faint beam of light cut through the steamy air and Kira didn't need to look up to see the figure silhouetted against the dying light of the star.  _ Ben. _

“Why are you wearing a mask? You don’t need it, do you?” Han stopped a few meters away, his hand held out in placation. 

“I am free to choose my weapons,” she answered. Still, she decided to remove it, curious to see what his reaction would be. She pulled back the hood and scarf to reveal the blank visage of Kira Ren before lifting off the mask. 

Han’s pained expression crumpled further as he scanned her face. “It is you, kid.” 

“That  _ kid _ is gone. She was feeble and aimless, like all the Jedi, so I destroyed her.” 

“That’s what you want to believe, but you know it’s not true. The Rey I knew was one of the strongest and smartest people I ever met.” 

Han moved close enough to touch, but Kira stayed still, the mask dangling from the tips of her fingers and the heated air rising from the depths swirling the hair around her face and neck. 

“But what did that get me?” she said. “I lost everything – my home, family, friends, trust, choice. All for some stupid set of ideals that denied me my true power.” 

“I’m sorry we never asked you what you wanted in all this,” Han said, his face mournful. “Either of you.” 

Kira tensed. She looked up to see Ben watching her, glowing in the last light from the star. The rest of the Ren had stopped, darker spaces against the shadows, waiting but not interfering. 

“You think an apology will fix everything, old man?” she demanded, her eyes still on Ben. 

“No. No, I don’t. But you have to know that Snoke is using you for your power. When he gets what he wants, he’ll crush you. You know it’s true.” 

Kira released a choked sound somewhere between a sigh and a chuckle, turning her face back to Han. “You’re right,” she said. “You, Luke, Leia, the Republic. They all wanted me for my power. Not for me, never to help me, to allow me a choice. Just like you want to control Ben, because you’re afraid of what he might do.” 

“No, kid,” Han said fiercely. Kira almost took a step backwards. “What I want is what’s best for him, because I love him. He’s my son. I want what’s best for you, too, as his friend, as my friend. I don’t understand all this Force business – I never could – but I know what it’s like being divided between what you should do and what you want to do. I think that’s just part of being a person, and you get to choose for yourself what’s right.” 

Kira felt the moisture slipping over her cheek before she realized the tears had risen in her eyes. Han looked close to tears himself. 

“I never had a choice,” she said. “I’m being torn apart. I want to be free of this pain.” 

“You have a choice, kid,” Han insisted. “You can leave here with me. Come home with us. We - Ben and Leia and me - we all miss you, Rey.” 

Kira’s helmet fell to the walkway with a thud. Slowly, she pulled the lightsaber hilt from her belt and held it forward, palm open. Han watched silently. She glanced upwards to Ben again. He hadn’t moved, but he seemed to be leaning forward, eyes fixed on the bridge where they stood. She felt his fear and anger. It should have been him here, asking her to come with him. 

“I don’t know if I can do this,” Kira said, her voice trembling. 

“Let me help. Whatever you need.” 

Kira lifted the hilt higher, offering it to the old smuggler. She saw him hesitate, unsure before reaching towards it. He grasped it just before the light from outside faded to black, leaving them only with the red glow far beneath. 

Kira didn’t let go, both their hands clasped around the lightsaber hilt. Neither of them pulled or gave, locked in place, waiting for something to shift, push the balance. She looked into Han’s eyes, so like his son’s. 

Sparking crimson plasma ripped through the air between them, spearing the old man through the ribs. 

There was a moment of shock as time seemed to slow. Han’s eyes widened in surprise as Kira stared at him, skewered on the end of her sputtering blade. Reflexively, she shoved it deeper, causing a wheeze to escape Han’s parted lips. 

“Thank you,” she whispered, her eyes rising to Ben as a Wookiee’s anguished cry rang out. In the darkness, now complete, she couldn’t see Ben’s face, but she could feel his confusion and anger swelling. 

“Rey.” 

The word was soft, barely audible, and when Han touched her face, Kira startled, looking at him once more. 

The shock and pain had melted away, replaced by a kind of peace in his eyes as his fingertips just brushed her cheek before falling away. 

Kira stepped back, allowing Han’s slackening body to slip from her blade. He tilted, wavered, then fell sideways without a sound, vanishing into the steam and smoke below. 

Kira’s world tilted too, even as she stayed unmoving on the bridge. Everything else faded away when she felt the life leave Han Solo. 

_ I made my choice. _

She was still distracted in herself when her mind suddenly screamed  _ danger! _ but she managed to look up, just as a plasma bolt shot towards her, accompanied by a Wookie’s roar. 

It was too late to dodge, but she flung up her hands and absorbed the brunt of the shot’s energy through a trick of the Force. Still, it rammed into her side, piercing her thin armor, cracking ribs and burning skin. 

Kira’s cry of pain was lost in the concussive boom of explosions that erupted around the perimeter of the thermal oscillator’s interior. 

She had to get off the bridge. Through the ringing in her ears, Kira stumbled to her feet, gritting her teeth. She stared up through the thickening smoke towards Ben, who stared back at her, his grief and rage palpable over the short distance. 

_ We’re not finished yet. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that probably went exactly as you all expected lol.
> 
> So obviously we still have more to come in, so this part should be wrapping up in the next chapter. In the meanwhile, hit me up on [tumblr](https://a-nerd-obsessed.tumblr.com) or let me know what you thought by leaving a comment. I love to hear y'all's reactions and thoughts!
> 
> Update in two weeks!


	16. Sixteenth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _No thank you_   
>  _They call me after dark, I don't want no part_   
>  _My habits, they hold me like a grudge_   
>  _I promise I won't budge_   
>  _One sip, bad for me_   
>  _One hit, bad for me_   
>  _One kiss, bad for me_   
>  _But I give in so easily_   
>  _And no thank you is how it should've gone_   
>  _I should stay strong_   
>  _But I'm weak, and what's wrong with that?_   
>  _Boy, oh boy I love it when I fall for that_
> 
> "Weak" by AJR

"Another run,” Poe Dameron shouted into his headset, sweaty hands gripping the controls tighter. “As many as we can get!” 

Black and Red squadrons had been pounding at the thermal oscillator’s shell for eternity, or at least it felt like it, but they hadn’t even made a real dent in it. Whatever armor and shielding protected it was the highest grade Poe had ever encountered. Which made sense, but still, it was infuriating. The Resistance squadrons had been hammering at the same spot, but all that remained of their laser blast and proton torpedoes was blackened smudges on the dark metal. 

They had already lost three of their fighters, shot down by ground fire or the swarms of TIEs that buzzed around like obnoxious but lethal insects, making it almost impossible to break through and make a run for the oscillator. 

“There’s too many of them! It isn’t working!” Jess Pava said, and Poe could imagine her ferocious scowl. 

“We can’t give up while there’s still light,” Poe answered fiercely. He brought  _ Black One _ in a loop over the pair of TIEs that had been snapping at his tail, catching a glimpse of the nearby star. It was almost completely drained, making it look like dusk, or that odd twilight before a total eclipse, but much more ominous. It was clear they wouldn’t have the light for long – and then the Resistance would be done, blown to smithereens by the First Order’s superweapon. 

Poe had never been an angry crier. If he was upset, he’d either punch the person responsible or take a flight in his X-wing, and that usually took the edge off. But now, as he shot two TIE fighters out of the sky – stars, there was so many of them, it was almost harder  _ not _ to hit them – he felt the frustration and despair and anger twisting in his stomach, rising up to choke in his throat. 

They were so kriffing close. They had made it so far against such odds, it seemed impossible that their luck couldn’t keep rolling out in front of them, paving the way. Compared to taking down the planetary shields, Red and Black Squadron’s job should’ve been easy. 

The light vanished, leaving only the glow of plasma beams to light up the battle scene. 

“Black Leader, looks like there’s a brand new hole in that oscillator,” Zolo Ziff exclaimed. 

Poe swerved around, looking at the hexagonal structure below. Sure enough, there was a breach in the wall, wreathed in flames. 

“Looks like our friends got in!” 

“Alright, I’m making another run, cover me,” Poe said, guiding  _ Black One _ low to the ground to begin his approach. Two X-wings fell in behind him, skimming over the snow and dodging defensive fire and answering in kind. Poe felt his usual brash optimism returning, and with it, an idea. 

It was probably insane, maybe even suicidal, but even with the breach, hitting the outside wouldn’t take the oscillator down in time. 

“All teams – I’m going in. Pull up and cover me from the outside,” Poe ordered. 

“Copy that, Black Leader. Good luck!” 

Poe lined up with the breach, turning sideways to slip through the flaming gap into the thermal oscillator itself, diving into the belly of the beast. 

~---~ 

Red. 

Darkness, everything was dark, except that one searing slit of red. 

Red. 

It was small, far away, but it was branded across his vision. 

It was plunged through his chest, burning and rending and destroying. 

It was all he could see, a red light that grew until it filled his sight, tinging everything with anger and helplessness and confusion and rage. 

“Kylo.” 

He was gone. 

“ _ Kylo! _ We have to go!” 

She was still looking at him. The red was in her eyes now, not her hand. His own rage, reflected back at him across the distance. 

“Now, Kylo!” 

Finn yanked his shoulder, pulling him away. Explosions rang in his ears, furthering the sense of suspended reality as Finn pushed him back into the cold towards the ladder that was bolted to the side of the thermal oscillator. 

“Hurry,” Finn urged, although Kylo barely noticed over the cacophony of confusion in his mind. “We’ve got to get out of here!” 

Kylo moved stiffly, gripping the icy rungs with numb fingers. They reached the bottom without him realizing and he nearly fell into the snow, floundering to regain his balance. 

“You alright, man?” Finn asked. The structure behind them rumbled, and the incessant whine of fighter engines and staccato blasts of laser fire roiled above them. “We’ve got to keep moving. The  _ Falcon _ is a long ways off and we don’t have time.” 

Some distant part of Kylo laughed at Finn’s question. The part that was trapped inside his mind was watching as Han Solo fell from the bridge and his life sputtered out, again. And again. And again. 

But she just looked at him, through the darkness, waiting to see what he’d do. As if she hadn’t just murdered his father. 

Kylo roared, gripping his hair and tearing at it. Something heavy smashed against the side of the oscillator with a shriek and groan of metal, but Kylo didn’t notice. 

“What the hell!” Finn yelled. “Kylo! Did you just – was that –” 

Kylo was crouched down, head tucked between his knees. He ignored Finn’s hand on his shoulder, shaking him, until Finn pulled him back and smacked him across the face, sending him sprawling. 

“Karking -” 

“Hey!” Finn shouted. “Pull it together! I know there’s a lot going on and everything’s going to hell but you can’t let it get to you right now.” 

Kylo spluttered, feeling the reddening handprint Finn’s slap had left on his face. He sat up slowly, watching as Finn’s face settled into a determined scowl. 

“I have no idea what’s happening and Han’s dead and I think maybe you just smashed our snowspeeder with your mind and I didn’t know you could do that and you’re probably shell-shocked – but this planet’s about to blow so we got to run  _ right now _ .” 

Kylo looked up. Finn was shouting at him, but all he felt was numb, letting his thoughts fall away in favor of a blurred feeling of everything and nothing around him at once. He was lost, mind floating between the atoms but not a part of reality. 

Kylo let Finn clasp his hand and pull him to his feet, then obediently settled into a jog behind Finn, who took off across the frozen landscape. Behind them, the thermal oscillator rumbled again, flames billowing out of new cracks as they blew open. 

Red. 

It was so dark now that the star had been drained, and the red was still seared across his vision. It seemed as though he was stumbling through a collapsing tunnel with no end, the weight of everything threatening to crush him as he struggled onwards. 

“Let’s cut through the forest,” Finn shouted back to Kylo, who had fallen a short distance behind. “We’ll have cover and it’s a more direct path to the  _ Falcon _ .” 

Kylo kept up his same lethargic trudge. He was completely indifferent to their route – or really, whether they made it to the  _ Falcon _ or not. 

The trees were bare, dark sentinels that watched with somber expectancy as they passed. The noise of explosions and chaos faded away, muffled by the density of the trunks, allowing the creak of their boots on the powdery snow and the puffs of their foggy breath in the frigid air to replace it. Everything was still, it was silent – too silent. Kylo’s thoughts grew to fill the vacuum, rising like the molten, smoldering core of the planet deep below them, bent on smothering him to death. 

Rey had killed Han Solo. She had killed his father. Like it was easy. Like she wanted him to watch. Like she imagined it was him that she had spitted on the end of her blade. 

_ This is all my fault. _

He knew he had failed her four years ago when she’d come to him in the dead of night. He hadn’t known why, but he’d sensed her confusion and her guilt and her fear, and the darkness, ever present. She had needed him, and he had failed her. Failed to protect her because of his cowardice, his fear of the very same darkness that was woven through his own soul. Now it seemed that she had paid him back for his failing. 

“We’re not finished yet.” 

Like a spirit that had been summoned, Kira Ren stood in their way, that crimson blade sputtering at her side. Her mask was gone, her voice clear and hard in the chilled air. Her hair fell about her face, catching the drifting snowflakes in soft tendrils. Both men halted, Finn a few paces in front as the opposing parties eyed each other. 

Kira didn’t advance immediately; instead she paused, almost as if gathering her strength. Kylo noted that her spine didn’t hold its usual ramrod straight posture, instead she was bent at the waist, and Kylo thought she was even swaying slightly. She was weakened but still feral, he remembered why when she shifted, curling over her left side. 

He’d forgotten that Chewbacca had shot her with his bowcaster in the aftermath of her murder. There was a wound in her side, burnt fabric of her outer tunic sticking to scorched, oozing flesh. Her breaths were shallow to limit the pain. Her hand clutched the damaged area, as if to contain the dark blood that leaked over her leather glove, staining it. 

She should have been dead. But Kylo had known within himself that she wouldn’t let him go. 

“You’re a monster,” Finn said, disgusted. 

“And you’re a traitor,” she returned evenly, straightening. 

“Switch off, murderer,” Finn spat. He yanked something from his belt and held it in front of him. Kylo startled when he ignited the sapphire lightsaber, casting them in a soothing blue glow. 

“Finn, don’t,” Kylo warned. 

Kira spun her own weapon, crackling as it caught the drifting snowflakes. “What do you think you can do with that, traitor?” 

“Let’s find out,” Finn challenged, lifting the bright blade to swing it at Kira. 

“Stop!” Kylo shouted, raising his hands to maybe push her away or do something to keep Finn from being slaughtered, but she beat him to it, gesturing with a bloodied hand and pulling Kylo’s feet from beneath him. 

Kylo looked up to see her catch Finn’s uncoordinated swipe on her blade and hold Finn there as he shoved. Finn was only slightly taller, but he had more weight to leverage, pushing her back a step with a roar. 

However Finn couldn’t know or expect what Kylo saw next as he pushed himself up to his knees. Kira’s free hand was back on her ragged wound, squeezing. 

Kylo felt the Dark Side surge in response to her self-inflicted pain, and she threw Finn off with a burst of power. Finn stumbled back. 

“Finn,” Kylo repeated, although he was staring at Kira. She smirked and he felt the Force contract around his ankles. She tilted her head, and he was flung through the trees, cracking his skull against the rough bark of a thick trunk. 

His head was ringing again. Everything was blurry and he couldn’t feel his limbs. Maybe someone was calling his name, but it was too faint to be sure. 

Red and blue twinkled in the distance. Kylo knew he needed to do something, but he couldn’t remember what. It also seemed like a good idea not to move, so he stayed, floating in a haze of darkness. 

~---~ 

Hux felt a bead of cold sweat trickle from his hairline down his temple. 

“Weapon at full capacity in thirty seconds.” 

_ Finally _ . 

“Prepare to fire.” 

“Yes, General.” 

Hux watched the aerial battle raging over the thermal oscillator, his eyes darting between explosions and laser fire. The oscillator structure had been breached by the same rebel scum who’d taken down the shields. Apparently, the Ren were there and did nothing to stop it, which only served to exacerbate his stress levels. 

Still, the First Order forces were losing. That was inevitable now. And unacceptable 

The duraglass in front of Hux’s nose rattled and his gaze shot to the oscillator. A huge wave of flame billowed out of it, snatching several fighters out of the air. He could make out several starcraft fleeing upwards – the Resistance. 

_ Damn it all _ . 

Technicians and officers were shouting, clamoring to understand what was happening and how to minimize the damage. 

Hux turned on his heel and quietly left the command station. The men in the station were too frantically preoccupied to notice when the door slid shut behind him, cutting off the sound of their clamor. Hux avoided running into anyone else and found the nearest audience chamber with a holoprojector. With a few well-memorized commands and keycodes, an encrypted transmission was sent to the  _ Supremacy. _

The monolithic projection flickered to life above him within seconds. 

“Supreme Leader.” 

“General.” Snoke furrowed his brow as the audience chamber trembled, dust and fragments of rock falling from the ceiling. 

“Starkiller Base is irrevocably compromised,” Hux reported, trembling with dread and adrenaline. “The fuel cells are ruptured and the collapse of the planet is imminent.” 

Snoke’s face twisted in fury, but his thunderous expression was also unsurprised. He leaned forward, and Hux shrank away. 

“Leave the base at once.” 

Hux almost sagged in relief, even as he felt a stab of disappointment. He hadn’t wanted to surrender years of his life’s work so easily. “Yes, Supreme Leader.” 

“And bring Kira Ren to me.” 

“Leader Snoke?” 

“Retrieve her, and bring her to me,” Snoke reiterated, his voice dangerously low. 

“Yes, Supreme Leader,” Hux said as the hologram faded away, replaced by dust and fragments of rock. 

The ground shuddered beneath his feet, spurring him on. Why Kira Ren couldn’t manage her own flight from the collapsing base was beyond Hux, but he would be dead if he returned to Snoke without her now. Hux set his face in a snarl and fled from the crumbling room. 

~--~ 

Someone was screaming. There was pain, he could feel it, but it was distant, amorphous. Kylo thought again that he should do something. It was important. 

The screams were getting louder. Kylo blinked a few times. He was in a shadowy forest, and it was cold. He was cold, and he shivered. Kylo sat up slowly and the forest floor tilted, leaving him dizzy. He closed his eyes until he felt steady again before pushing himself to his feet. 

Another choked cry from several meters drew his attention. 

_ Rey. _

_ Finn. _

Kylo stumbled towards the sounds of struggle. He couldn’t have been out for more than a few seconds if Finn was still alive. 

She had Finn pinned against a tree. The blue lightsaber had vanished, and Kira was slowly pressing her blade into his shoulder as he gagged in her Force grip, the veins on his forehead standing out. Kylo could feel the anger in Kira had taken a sadistic bent that made Kylo’s dizziness and nausea return. It could be a long time yet before she moved to kill Finn. But based on the way the ground was shivering and rumbling beneath them, they’d all be dead soon anyway. 

Finn managed another weak cry, fighting against her hold, but he was helpless. Kylo gritted his teeth and set his feet. A quiet exhale, and then he pulled clumsily on the fabric of the Force. 

He wasn’t sure it would work, as much as he felt the Dark Side swirling around her, drawing on her anger and pain and Finn’s fear. So when Kira’s blade flew out of her hand towards Kylo, everyone flinched. 

Kira had enough intuition to bend out of the way, avoiding the sizzling edge of her own blade, while Finn slumped to the snow with a groan. Kylo’s eyes widened as he saw the lightsaber, now disengaged, spinning towards his head, and he ducked. The hilt struck a tree with a thunk and dropped to the ground. Kylo quickly scrambled after it, snatching it up before she could call it back to her hand. On instinct, he spun around and reignited the crackling blade, half-expecting her to be on him before he could raise it. She hadn’t moved and he held it up, defiant. He could feel the disquiet and instability of the kyber inside, sending vibrations up his arms as he swung it in a threat. 

“Run, Finn,” he ordered, taking a step towards Kira. Finn tried to gain leverage with his good arm, pulling himself upright. 

“Not yet,” Kira hissed, thrusting a hand out towards Finn, who was drawn sharply towards her, his toes dragging two trails through the white powder. With a flick of her wrist, she smashed him back against the tree. Kylo heard his skull crack as she extended her other hand to receive the blue lightsaber that Finn had possessed and ignite it to drive through Finn’s shoulder. 

“No!” Kylo cried as Finn fell to the ground with a muffled thump. 

Kira turned back, swinging the new blade to test its weight and grip. It unbalanced her, the feel of the kyber at odds with her Dark energy. She looked up at him, then at her lightsaber sputtering in his grip. 

“That lightsaber,” she said quietly. “It belongs to me.” 

“Come get it,” Kylo challenged, even though with the towering sense of the Dark rising above her, she was ready to end him. 

And she would, he could feel the promise of it. Some part of him found this so familiar, the way her eyes flickered to his feet to check his stance and then back to his face, the way she spun the blade lazily to resettle her grip, the way she bared her teeth in challenge. 

But it wasn’t like when they were children. Then, she had been observing his footing to learn from him. Then, she had spun her blade to show off and appear confident. Then, her eyes had been playful, not vengeful. 

Lunging for him without any forewarning, he barely sensed the moment she shifted to attack. 

Her first blow came strong, full of an unreasonable hatred. Kylo deflected the overhead strike, letting it slide away from him as he slipped to her side, the old movements coming back to his legs and arms before he could consciously recall them. She shifted, avoiding his flank and lunging forward with a series of rapid blows. 

Kylo’s heart raced as he parried each strike. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d touched a blade, and now he was trying to fight the Master of the Knights of Ren. She faltered, her hand going to her side as he felt a wave of fresh pain from her. Quickly, he circled her again to swing the crimson blade at her legs. She snarled, slipping back and knocking his weapon down, attempting to draw him forward as she sidestepped. Both of their footwork were clumsy, but Kylo recovered before he could stumble into the trap, shifting his weight to careen away, tripping over snow-covered roots and shocks in the earth.

Kylo could hear her ragged breathing, but the Force crackled around her, supporting and strengthening her as she came after him.

They kept at it, Kira’s swings becoming more wild and powerful as her caution fell to pieces under the storm of emotion Kylo felt reaching out to him, desperate and clawing. He tried to fend her off, reaching deep to tap into the power he knew was there, but the unfriendly blade in his hand and his own emotional turmoil made his connection to the Force slippery. The lightsaber felt clumsy in his hands and he nearly burned himself on the sparking quillons as he maneuvered it to avoid her forceful blows. He could feel his arms and shoulders burning at the unfamiliar exertion, inflexible and weakened joints popping as they struggled to stretch through their full range, both from the movements and from trying to restrain the angry blade from leaping out of his grasp. Kylo resisted the urge to toss it to the side and try to tackle her instead, using his fists and size to subdue her. He would only end up with a lightsaber through his chest, just like his father. 

He gasped, jumping away from a slash that would have slid through his ribs but instead continued to fell a tall sapling. Kira spun the sapphire blade again, twisted rage frozen on her face, and advanced again. He robotically deflect her next lunge, eyeing her closely. She seemed to be getting sloppier and wilder in her movements, defensive of her injured side. Still, he could feel the pain she channeled into each blow, spurring her on. Her angry expression was slowly melting into desperation, and it frightened him. 

Kylo’s back hit a tree trunk, causing him to gasp and jolting the saber from his hand. Kira didn’t halt, swinging for his chest. Kylo slipped around the tree before her hasty swing could end him, but she caught his shoulder before he could escape. He cried out, trying to catch himself as he fell, but he landed on his stomach when his injured shoulder gave out. The tree cracked and groaned and Kylo scrambled to his feet, snatching up the fallen saber hilt and stumbling away from the falling tree as it crashed, throwing up a towering spray of snow. Kira leaped over the downed trunk to follow. 

Maybe he could outdistance her and circle back to Finn, then somehow drag him to – no, that was no good, especially since he could feel her reaching out to him in the Force, wrapping tendrils around his ankles to pull him down – 

The ground heaved and cracked with a shuddering bang, rending the earth and cutting off his escape. Kylo took a few steps back, watching as an abyss opened up, trees along the edges tipping over and falling to unknown depths. The planet was rapidly disintegrating under his feet. 

The hair on the back of his arms stood up, and Kylo spun around, reigniting the unruly crimson saber to block Kira’s savage strike. Their blades locked, sparking and spitting against each other. His arms strained with the effort of keeping her off – she was pushing closer, so close they almost touched. 

They were breathing hard, straining against one another. The ground shuddered again and Kylo took a step back to regain his balance, closer to the cliff edge. Kira glared up into his eyes. 

“Such weakness,” she hissed. “You could have chosen to be so much more if you had only embraced the Darkness, like I have.” 

“No,” he protested, feeling his arms weakening. 

“They were all afraid of the power we possessed. They tried to keep us contained, to limit us so they could control us.” 

“They tried,” Kylo gasped, blinking as the plasma from the lightsabers sparked against each other, “to teach us not to be  _ murderers _ .” 

“You’ve forgotten that the Jedi were murderers, just as much as the Sith,” Kira rebuked. “Liars, manipulators, power-hungry, selfish, kidnappers, murderers. Just in the guise of goodness and justice.” 

Kylo gritted his teeth. 

“You don’t have to hide anymore,” Kira continued, impassioned. “You just need a teacher. I can show you the ways of the Dark Side.” 

Kylo trembled, thinking of what she said. They were his own thoughts and wonderings, just spoken out loud to him by another. He wanted that, to not hide, to be free of his fears, to let go of responsibility and expectations. 

But not with her. Never with her. He could not forget what she had done. 

“The Dark Side,” he echoed. 

“Yes,” she said, her eyes reflecting the intersection of the lightsabers, light and dark, perfectly balanced. 

Kylo’s eyes slid shut. 

Inhale. 

_ Don’t be a fool. She’s choosing the Dark. _

Exhale. 

_ You think I’m lost. Consumed in Darkness. _

Inhale. 

_ This is my choice. _

His eyes opened. The Dark seeped between them, swirling in the air. 

“You think I don’t know the Dark, murderer?” Kylo asked. 

Her eyes flickered and Kira opened her mouth to reply but Kylo didn’t give her the chance. 

He roared, shoving her off with a violence and strength he had never felt before. The confusion and the anger and the pain – but it felt  _ right _ . 

Kira landed on the snow several meters back and Kylo followed, raising her own blade against her. The crimson lightsaber almost sang in his hand, snapping and sizzling in a fury. Kira quickly stood, attempting to defend herself, but Kylo’s free hand thrust forward, freezing her in place. 

She struggled furiously as he came for her but the Dark was weighted to his side. There was only a moment for him to see the panic in her eyes before the lightsaber whipped upwards in a brutal swipe, slashing across her face. 

Kira collapsed with a cry, twisted around by the power of the stroke to fall on hands and knees away from him. He circled her, snatching up the extinguished blue saber and attaching it to his belt. Kylo kicked her in her injured side, flipping her over and knocking the air from her lungs. 

“You think I don’t know the Darkness?” he demanded again as she gasped in the snow. He could see the terrible wound over her cheek and bridge of her nose, blackened and leaking thick blood. “It was because of me that he found you. I am the descendent of Darkness. I was the one who introduced you to Darkness. You are nothing without me.” 

He raised the sputtering lightsaber above his head and it crackled eagerly. She didn’t stir, made no attempt to defend herself, shuddering with pain. 

“This is my fault,” he said, a deep anger running under his words. “I tried, for you, but this is how you repay me?” 

The earth trembled and they could hear the groan and snap of trees falling into gaping chasms. 

“I’m going to end this and be free from this pain.” He lifted the lightsaber, ready to bring it down. Tears glistened on her cheeks, silent and desolate. 

“Ben,” Rey whimpered. 

Their eyes locked. 

The blade drove down. 

Kylo was thrown back, landing on his back, dazed. When he looked up, he couldn’t see Rey. 

What had he done? 

He stood and found himself on the edge of a rapidly expanding canyon. The ground heaved again, nearly unbalancing him and he stepped back clumsily. Had she fallen into the abyss? 

No, he would have felt her death. He peered across the gap, to the dim cliff opposite. 

She was there. A small, crumpled form, barely discernible in the odd mess of dappled dark and smoke and light on the collapsing planet. But it was her, he knew, and she lived. 

Her Force signature flickered faintly, clinging to his. His anger burned, scorching her, and his sense of her faded. He screamed over the rift.

_ We’re not done yet.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the end of part two! I'm sorry it took me an extra week with this chapter - it was kind of like pulling teeth to write for some reason. But hopefully you all will enjoy it anyway! And many many thanks to my beta [AngstyWriter](https://angstywriterangst.tumblr.com) for sticking with me through this long messy journey.
> 
> I'm planning to take a little break before starting part three, _Burn the Whole House Down_. I've been writing this story for over a year now, and I'd like to take a step back and breathe, revisit my outline, and maybe work up a bit of a cushion before I start posting the next part of the story. But never fear, this is my baby and I'm not abandoning it!
> 
> Meanwhile, let me know what you think, share it with friends, etc, etc. I appreciate all your comments and kudos and subscriptions, and that's probably what's gotten us this far, so thank you all so much.
> 
> If you want to catch part three, subscribe to this series or me as an author or follow me on [tumblr](https://a-nerd-obsessed.tumblr.com). Until next time!


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